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    I got called to speak to the person who runs my course today, and they starting laying into me over not wanting to do my work exp. it was in front of everyone and I didn't expect it and I couldn't stop myself from going red and crying a little. I just said yes to everything they demanded of me to get away.

    so what I want to know is how do I stand up for myself and say no to things, how do I stop myself from crying when i'm criticized and how can I be more assertive?

    if you guys could help me , you'd really be helping me out, I didn't expect to crumble like this.
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    (Original post by damoni)
    I got called to speak to the person who runs my course today, and they starting laying into me over not wanting to do my work exp. it was in front of everyone and I didn't expect it and I couldn't stop myself from going red and crying a little. I just said yes to everything they demanded of me to get away.

    so what I want to know is how do I stand up for myself and say no to things, how do I stop myself from crying when i'm criticized and how can I be more assertive?

    if you guys could help me , you'd really be helping me out, I didn't expect to crumble like this.

    I need help too..


    I guess you somehow nee to build your self-confidance back up

    Me, I have a reason for my confidence to go down
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    (Original post by damoni)
    I got called to speak to the person who runs my course today, and they starting laying into me over not wanting to do my work exp. it was in front of everyone and I didn't expect it and I couldn't stop myself from going red and crying a little. I just said yes to everything they demanded of me to get away.

    so what I want to know is how do I stand up for myself and say no to things, how do I stop myself from crying when i'm criticized and how can I be more assertive?

    if you guys could help me , you'd really be helping me out, I didn't expect to crumble like this.
    Why did you start to cry? I don't think its lack of self confidence even if there is a small lack there. I think you need to develop a hard spine and learn to take criticism with a passive face. If the people witnessing have lives, they would forget about what they saw within 24 hours so dont worry
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    Maybe for a start speaking to someone about how he spoke to you. You shouldn't be made to feel like that especially not infront of the whole class. Sounds horrible

    But I used to just try and bloke out all emotion and try and act like nothing bothered me literally just go blank it is really hard to do and can wind up making you look heartless tho at the same time but good for situations such as this. I used to do it with my parents i would try looking at random parts of the room or if they told me to look at them i would like look past them and nod along or whatecer and try and think of the most trivial thing eber like what your having for tea.. it worked for me most of the time. Or do something like tap your hand against your leg and concentrate of that by idk tapping a tune.
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    (Original post by damoni)
    I got called to speak to the person who runs my course today, and they starting laying into me over not wanting to do my work exp. it was in front of everyone and I didn't expect it and I couldn't stop myself from going red and crying a little. I just said yes to everything they demanded of me to get away.

    so what I want to know is how do I stand up for myself and say no to things, how do I stop myself from crying when i'm criticized and how can I be more assertive?

    if you guys could help me , you'd really be helping me out, I didn't expect to crumble like this.
    This may sound abit obscure but maybe get your friends to insult you and make you feel bad. This will make you feel stronger in the long term as if you managed to be strong with your friends and answer back then you can also be strong with other people.


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need help too..


    I guess you somehow nee to build your self-confidance back up

    Me, I have a reason for my confidence to go down
    yeah, I do have a lack of confidence it sucks doesn't it .
    (Original post by Ekemini)
    Why did you start to cry? I don't think its lack of self confidence even if there is a small lack there. I think you need to develop a hard spine and learn to take criticism with a passive face. If the people witnessing have lives, they would forget about what they saw within 24 hours so dont worry
    I don't know tbh , I would like to grow a spine and be stronger - any tips?

    (Original post by hycurrie)
    Maybe for a start speaking to someone about how he spoke to you. You shouldn't be made to feel like that especially not infront of the whole class. Sounds horrible

    But I used to just try and bloke out all emotion and try and act like nothing bothered me literally just go blank it is really hard to do and can wind up making you look heartless tho at the same time but good for situations such as this. I used to do it with my parents i would try looking at random parts of the room or if they told me to look at them i would like look past them and nod along or whatecer and try and think of the most trivial thing eber like what your having for tea.. it worked for me most of the time. Or do something like tap your hand against your leg and concentrate of that by idk tapping a tune.
    I would like to become stronger like this but it would probably be quite hard due to fear taking over
    (Original post by r-t)
    This may sound abit obscure but maybe get your friends to insult you and make you feel bad. This will make you feel stronger in the long term as if you managed to be strong with your friends and answer back then you can also be strong with other people.


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    ah I don't have any. what if I asked my parents instead?
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    Its not a case of being hard in my situation (i am so soft) its just trying to totally distract yourself from the situation... as for self confidence write it all down and write down facts to support and disprove fhat thought so for example (totally made up) if you thought you were stupid a fact proving it could be that i failed my science abd disproving would be but i passed my english. It might sound a bit ridiculous but try and focus on positives if not about yourself about life in general. They can be little or as big as anything. And try and say something good about yourself each day and make a note of it for example i once put a sticky note on my mirror of something i liked about myself, made me feel better to look at.
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    You have to get used to it. It's hard to start with in practice, but if it's personal insults you should try not to give any value to their words.

    Try to see it as they're angry at what you did/didn't do rather than you yourself.
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    (Original post by damoni)
    yeah, I do have a lack of confidence it sucks doesn't it .

    I don't know tbh , I would like to grow a spine and be stronger - any tips?


    I would like to become stronger like this but it would probably be quite hard due to fear taking over


    ah I don't have any. what if I asked my parents instead?
    Yeh you can ask your parents. It should still have the same effect of making you stronger and more able to deal with your fears


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    As people have said, go for distraction. If you don't have an aggressive instinct (not a bad thing), the best thing to do is to have no emotion at all. Trying to be assertive will most likely lead to crying.

    Try to disengage from the situation, and maintain an equilibrium within yourself. Remember that they can shout at you, but they can't touch you, and they can't touch your mind unless you let them. Respond to questions logically, and without emotion. Never sulk, or make snipey or sarcastic comments - it won't look cool. If you're wrong, accept it and if you are right say so. If you can't think of a response, or think you might cry, stay silent. People will respect you for this.
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    Also its also a good point to remember that you do have a voice; you have every roght to feel the way you feel and you don't need to justify your feelings.. you're feeling and emotions shouldn't get judged by anyone. It's the way in which you act on these emotions that can be judged. That little thought helped me as well
 
 
 
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