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How to cope with depression without a Psychiatrist? watch

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    I looked up the symptoms of depression, and I found that I meet almost all of them. It's not like 'one day I feel content' and another day 'I feel down', this feeling has been going on since 9 months ago. Nearly everyday I have suicidal thoughts and I even plan my suicide and write my own suicide notes, but before I'm close to doing it, I stop myself ONLY because I'm scared of death.

    Firstly I feel so ugly, and it's so obvious I am. My cousins and friends make snide comments about this. For example my cousin constantly shows me pictures of people who she thinks are ugly and says that I look like them. Also on top of that my friend constantly kept telling me everyday on how ugly I looked e.g. "This [male celebrity] looks more feminine/prettier than you", but the thing that confused me was that somewhere around the first time we met she said I'm pretty. A few weeks ago when I told her that the comments she makes bothers me, she stopped making those comments.

    Secondly I still feel fat. I was always skinny my entire life till people kept pressuring me to gain weight since I 'looked ill' even though I had a healthy BMI. Once I gained up to 62kg with a 5 ft 2 height, my mother and aunt told me to lose weight since I didn't look good. Once I did (currently I am 48kg) many people like my mother and acquaintances have told me I look better but the same friend who called me ugly (shes also trying to lose weight since she's stuck at 62kg) is now discouraging me to stop losing weight. She's even forcing me to take junk food she couldn't finish off, I even told her before not give me junk food since my weight is bothering me. When I refuse she doesn't take no for an answer and when she tells me to eat the food later, I tell her I'll end up eating it all at once, then she says I 'have no self control' when she's forcing the food to me when I'm trying to resist it.

    Thirdly I feel dumb. My whole life I've been called dumb (family, parents, peers and teachers) due to being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, as a result I used to do poorly at school. I feel as though my siblings are all perfect since they're good looking and smart (even without trying), but I feel like I'm the opposite of them and that if I ended my life then I wouldn't be missed and I would make everything a lot easier for my family if I wasn't with them.

    Ever since GCSEs to A-Levels that's when I put my head down and began working hard, so from then till now I'm getting fairly good grades. And 4 out of 5 universities for primary education have replied to me with all conditional offers and interviews.

    I feel as though the only way to move forward in life is to achieve my future goals. I can't do this if I see a Psychiatrist, since the universities I want to apply to need a clear mental health record.

    I don't want to feel this way any more, what do I do?
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    Don't be daft, see a doctor. Feeling suicidal is not normal, and it's not going to go away by losing weight or getting into uni. If you're right about these universities needing a clean bill of health (which ones, incidentally? I've never heard of this before) then it's probably for a good reason - the course is tough and not suitable for someone already on the verge of suicide. So look after your health, see a doctor, see a therapist or counsellor if appropriate, and get better friends cos yours sound awful. :sadnod:


    Sorry if that comes across as a little harsh, but I've seen so many people obsess about their career or studies at the expense of their mental health, and it never ends well if they don't seek help. :no:
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    You sound like you need a much kinder friend. I agree with Superwolf, feeling suicidal isn't normal and asking for help is a good way of starting to get better. I've had brief recurring depression for about 4 years, bit like being bipolar but without the highs and seeing a psychiatrist really helps in developing coping mechanisms.
    Maybe try phoning the Samaritans or a similar helpline and talking to them? It won't come up to your uni choices then and you'll get someone with more experience to talk to.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't do this if I see a Psychiatrist, since the universities I want to apply to need a clear mental health record.
    Which Universities require a mental health record...o_O
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    First, try to turn yourself towards happiness by doing the things which make you happier. Also, try to spend your valuable friends or whom you like the most. Then start to do some minimal exercise along with Yoga and Meditation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I looked up the symptoms of depression, and I found that I meet almost all of them. It's not like 'one day I feel content' and another day 'I feel down', this feeling has been going on since 9 months ago. Nearly everyday I have suicidal thoughts and I even plan my suicide and write my own suicide notes, but before I'm close to doing it, I stop myself ONLY because I'm scared of death.

    Firstly I feel so ugly, and it's so obvious I am. My cousins and friends make snide comments about this. For example my cousin constantly shows me pictures of people who she thinks are ugly and says that I look like them. Also on top of that my friend constantly kept telling me everyday on how ugly I looked e.g. "This [male celebrity] looks more feminine/prettier than you", but the thing that confused me was that somewhere around the first time we met she said I'm pretty. A few weeks ago when I told her that the comments she makes bothers me, she stopped making those comments.

    Secondly I still feel fat. I was always skinny my entire life till people kept pressuring me to gain weight since I 'looked ill' even though I had a healthy BMI. Once I gained up to 62kg with a 5 ft 2 height, my mother and aunt told me to lose weight since I didn't look good. Once I did (currently I am 48kg) many people like my mother and acquaintances have told me I look better but the same friend who called me ugly (shes also trying to lose weight since she's stuck at 62kg) is now discouraging me to stop losing weight. She's even forcing me to take junk food she couldn't finish off, I even told her before not give me junk food since my weight is bothering me. When I refuse she doesn't take no for an answer and when she tells me to eat the food later, I tell her I'll end up eating it all at once, then she says I 'have no self control' when she's forcing the food to me when I'm trying to resist it.

    Thirdly I feel dumb. My whole life I've been called dumb (family, parents, peers and teachers) due to being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, as a result I used to do poorly at school. I feel as though my siblings are all perfect since they're good looking and smart (even without trying), but I feel like I'm the opposite of them and that if I ended my life then I wouldn't be missed and I would make everything a lot easier for my family if I wasn't with them.

    Ever since GCSEs to A-Levels that's when I put my head down and began working hard, so from then till now I'm getting fairly good grades. And 4 out of 5 universities for primary education have replied to me with all conditional offers and interviews.

    I feel as though the only way to move forward in life is to achieve my future goals. I can't do this if I see a Psychiatrist, since the universities I want to apply to need a clear mental health record.

    I don't want to feel this way any more, what do I do?
    You need to see a doctor and get this sorted out. If you do manage to get a place and start your course with these unresolved issues, you are likely to find yourself in considerable difficulty sooner or later. Also, if you've effectively lied and said that you have no mental health issues, when clearly you do, whether or not you've seen a doctor about them, your university is very much less likely to be sympathetic when/if problems arise.

    It is not usually the case that you cannot have any history of mental health problems - even for medicine that would be extreme - in order to apply for and be offered a place on a particular course. The issue is that a uni needs to know that any mental health issues you have had in the past have been properly diagnosed and treated, and that your condition is now stable enough for you to be able cope safely with the demands of the course.

    (Original post by natar)
    Which Universities require a mental health record...o_O
    For this particular course (Primary Education) it would be normal to be asked to complete an occupational health form, when the OP would have to declare these issues, whether or not s/he's seen a doctor about them. The uni must do a risk assessment from both applicant and service perspective (ie, could this individual's mental state present a risk to the children s/he is to teach?).
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    (Original post by Minerva)
    You need to see a doctor and get this sorted out. If you do manage to get a place and start your course with these unresolved issues, you are likely to find yourself in considerable difficulty sooner or later. Also, if you've effectively lied and said that you have no mental health issues, when clearly you do, whether or not you've seen a doctor about them, your university is very much less likely to be sympathetic when/if problems arise.

    It is not usually the case that you cannot have any history of mental health problems - even for medicine that would be extreme - in order to apply for and be offered a place on a particular course. The issue is that a uni needs to know that any mental health issues you have had in the past have been properly diagnosed and treated, and that your condition is now stable enough for you to be able cope safely with the demands of the course.
    But they wouldn't find out though since depression can easily be hidden. The fact that it can be hidden that easily, I doubt it would affect the way I am around children. And I heard people recover from depression without the help of psychiatrists. So it would be a waste of time to see a psychiatrist if it would risk my placement in uni. Meaning it would add more fuel to my depression since I can't pursue my dream job and prove to myself and everyone that I'm not that dumb (this is one of the main reasons why I'm depressed).

    I am trying my best to recover and get back to normal e.g. I'm not letting it interfere with how I interact with people as I'm able to act how I used to with them before I was depressed. The only difference between my interaction now and before is that I don't get any satisfaction or happiness from talking to people.

    I would've seen a psychiatrist if the courses I wanted to apply to didn't look down on people trying to seek help for depression.

    (Original post by Lwin)
    You sound like you need a much kinder friend. I agree with Superwolf, feeling suicidal isn't normal and asking for help is a good way of starting to get better. I've had brief recurring depression for about 4 years, bit like being bipolar but without the highs and seeing a psychiatrist really helps in developing coping mechanisms.
    Maybe try phoning the Samaritans or a similar helpline and talking to them? It won't come up to your uni choices then and you'll get someone with more experience to talk to.
    I wish it was simple, but it's too late to get rid of her since it's the last year of college and everyone has settled with their friendship groups. And plus I already left a fake friend at the end of AS for her, so it would be weird if I start looking for someone else to keep as a company.

    Thanks for the suggestions Is it okay if I ask what methods they used to help you with your depression?

    (Original post by cresta)
    First, try to turn yourself towards happiness by doing the things which make you happier. Also, try to spend your valuable friends or whom you like the most. Then start to do some minimal exercise along with Yoga and Meditation.
    Thank you for the suggestions. By the way is there any good yoga videos from Youtube that you could suggest to me?
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    Some people do recover from depression with seeing a psychiatrist and others don't. You don't know whether you will. And surely, it's better to get help now beefore it does get worse?
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    Some people do recover from depression with seeing a psychiatrist and others don't. You don't know whether you will. And surely, it's better to get help now beefore it does get worse?
    Wouldn't it be better if I at least tried using methods to help myself get better without a psychiatrist before risking adding fuel to my depression as I might not be able to go uni.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But they wouldn't find out though since depression can easily be hidden. The fact that it can be hidden that easily, I doubt it would affect the way I am around children. And I heard people recover from depression without the help of psychiatrists. So it would be a waste of time to see a psychiatrist if it would risk my placement in uni. Meaning it would add more fuel to my depression since I can't pursue my dream job and prove to myself and everyone that I'm not that dumb (this is one of the main reasons why I'm depressed).

    I am trying my best to recover and get back to normal e.g. I'm not letting it interfere with how I interact with people as I'm able to act how I used to with them before I was depressed. The only difference between my interaction now and before is that I don't get any satisfaction or happiness from talking to people.

    I would've seen a psychiatrist if the courses I wanted to apply to didn't look down on people trying to seek help for depression.
    I can only advise you again that you should see your GP, as a minimum, about your depression. In the end it is your decision, but it's important that you realise that there are big risks attached to the 'DIY' approach, not least of which is that your depression gets worse but you don't get the medication/support you need as quickly as you should.

    I'd also suggest to you that it is pretty likely that a skilled interviewer or supervisor (if you got that far) would pick up that your mental state is not great at the moment. If you don't get any genuine pleasure out of talking to other people, that will come across at interview, and that certainly won't help your cause.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I looked up the symptoms of depression, and I found that I meet almost all of them. It's not like 'one day I feel content' and another day 'I feel down', this feeling has been going on since 9 months ago. Nearly everyday I have suicidal thoughts and I even plan my suicide and write my own suicide notes, but before I'm close to doing it, I stop myself ONLY because I'm scared of death.

    Firstly I feel so ugly, and it's so obvious I am. My cousins and friends make snide comments about this. For example my cousin constantly shows me pictures of people who she thinks are ugly and says that I look like them. Also on top of that my friend constantly kept telling me everyday on how ugly I looked e.g. "This [male celebrity] looks more feminine/prettier than you", but the thing that confused me was that somewhere around the first time we met she said I'm pretty. A few weeks ago when I told her that the comments she makes bothers me, she stopped making those comments.

    Secondly I still feel fat. I was always skinny my entire life till people kept pressuring me to gain weight since I 'looked ill' even though I had a healthy BMI. Once I gained up to 62kg with a 5 ft 2 height, my mother and aunt told me to lose weight since I didn't look good. Once I did (currently I am 48kg) many people like my mother and acquaintances have told me I look better but the same friend who called me ugly (shes also trying to lose weight since she's stuck at 62kg) is now discouraging me to stop losing weight. She's even forcing me to take junk food she couldn't finish off, I even told her before not give me junk food since my weight is bothering me. When I refuse she doesn't take no for an answer and when she tells me to eat the food later, I tell her I'll end up eating it all at once, then she says I 'have no self control' when she's forcing the food to me when I'm trying to resist it.

    Thirdly I feel dumb. My whole life I've been called dumb (family, parents, peers and teachers) due to being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, as a result I used to do poorly at school. I feel as though my siblings are all perfect since they're good looking and smart (even without trying), but I feel like I'm the opposite of them and that if I ended my life then I wouldn't be missed and I would make everything a lot easier for my family if I wasn't with them.

    Ever since GCSEs to A-Levels that's when I put my head down and began working hard, so from then till now I'm getting fairly good grades. And 4 out of 5 universities for primary education have replied to me with all conditional offers and interviews.

    I feel as though the only way to move forward in life is to achieve my future goals. I can't do this if I see a Psychiatrist, since the universities I want to apply to need a clear mental health record.

    I don't want to feel this way any more, what do I do?
    I know how you feel (I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in yr 11). I know, from personal experience, the effects of feeling like the way you are but I would talk to your GP or at least someone in school. Most likely you would be referred to a psychologist for 6 weeks of CBT. But that is entirely dependent on your consent. Again, if you don't want to see a psychologist they might want you to come a number of times for a couple of weeks. But I would definitely find someone you trust. There's always people (including me) if you just need to talk.
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    I have managed to get over my depression without getting help from a psychiatrist. However, I don't recommend it. It was hard work.

    Even if you do try to hide it, people will work out what's wrong.
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    Just thought I'd add in here - I suffer from numerous mental health problems including major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder (and Aspergers, high 5!) I'm currently working in a primary school as a teaching assistant, and the school know about my health issues. They've been totally supportive and keen to do what they can to help me, so I really wouldn't worry about that side of things. Yes, you may have to complete an occupational health check, but depression won't stop you becoming an amazing primary school teacher

    I hope that's reassured you a little - I'd strongly advise you to see your GP and find out what services are available to you, or at least find out if you can access counselling somehow, maybe via school or your GP. Getting over depression is so much easier when you have some support!

    If you're totally against seeking professional help then that is your choice - I'd recommend the books 'Overcoming depression' and 'Mindfulness - finding peace in a frantic world' which may help you feel calmer and happier.

    I wish you the very best of luck!


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    Try to Google it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But they wouldn't find out though since depression can easily be hidden.
    Yes and no. As soon as it affects your ability to concentrate, your performance, etc.... Then you risk people judge it as being part of your character and not as an illness. The outcome can even be worse:
    - a lot more of depressive episodes, because you never really overcame it
    - if another illness was behind depression, this might become worse
    - while dperession is not usual to happen one time in life and then go away with time, you might not have that time to wait and not the support (if you would take a gap year out and you would have plenty of support at home that would be a different kind of situation).
    - depression worsen to a state you can't do anything more on your own
    The fact that it can be hidden that easily, I doubt it would affect the way I am around children.
    Young children are really sensible to what happens around them and can't care for you.

    So it would be a waste of time to see a psychiatrist if it would risk my placement in uni.
    Why? Any sources for that?

    prove to myself and everyone that I'm not that dumb (this is one of the main reasons why I'm depressed).
    you are not proving this, when you make anything harder for yourself, than it should be, e.g. denying the help you need/are entitled to.

    The only difference between my interaction now and before is that I don't get any satisfaction or happiness from talking to people.
    As said before, sadly people do notice.

    I would've seen a psychiatrist if the courses I wanted to apply to didn't look down on people trying to seek help for depression.
    He does not look down on you. They just have a responsibility that the children are not defavorised, just because their teachers thinks, he/she can use his/her placement to try to overcome depression without help. And they have a responsibility towards you, that they don't leave you in a situtation you can't handle.

    And plus I already left a fake friend at the end of AS for her, so it would be weird if I start looking for someone else to keep as a company.
    No, it isn't weired.
 
 
 
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