I change my mind a lot in relationships

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 6 years ago
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I have a long history of rapidly changing my mind about liking someone. One day I might feel completely infactuated or indeed in love (talking about 5 year relationship, 8 month relationship or a few flings) and then the next day I might wake up feeling quite repulsed at the idea of being close to that person. It's really getting to me, I wish I could just be more consistent.
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Maid Marian
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Well, make your mind up. Once you start getting involved with other people, you can't be changing your mind on them every five minutes as it's not fair on them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Maid Marian)
Well, make your mind up. Once you start getting involved with other people, you can't be changing your mind on them every five minutes as it's not fair on them.
I know that's right but it's easier said than done. Sometimes I go to bed with one strong idea and wake up the next morning with another. It is getting to feel unhealthy.
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kristen101
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Do you change your mind backwards and forwards alot with the same person or is it more of you like them then realise you don't?

If it is the former, it sounds like you have a lot of issues. Maybe talking to a counsellor would help
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kristen101)
Do you change your mind backwards and forwards alot with the same person or is it more of you like them then realise you don't?

If it is the former, it sounds like you have a lot of issues. Maybe talking to a counsellor would help
Yes I do change my mind a lot with the same person. Especially if they are into me. If they lose interest or change their mood a lot it is easier to keep me interested. I know this pattern but it seems impossible to break...
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kristen101
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I do change my mind a lot with the same person. Especially if they are into me. If they lose interest or change their mood a lot it is easier to keep me interested. I know this pattern but it seems impossible to break...
It sounds like an unhealthy pattern. If it affects you alot i would suggest seeing a counsellor
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Icebaker
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All the people you've been with are wrong for you. It's quite simple really, if you have even the faintest shadow of a doubt about a potential partner, it means that you don't want them, you shouldn't be with that person. When you find the right person, you'll forever remain certain that you want them and you'll never have any doubt.

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DrOfPharmacy
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Sort your life out.

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Icebaker)
All the people you've been with are wrong for you. It's quite simple really, if you have even the faintest shadow of a doubt about a potential partner, it means that you don't want them, you shouldn't be with that person. When you find the right person, you'll forever remain certain that you want them and you'll never have any doubt.

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I thought that too initially but I think now that there is no "right person" or soul mate.
Every relationship will have its issues, I just have this one thing in the way...
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catsis
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a long history of rapidly changing my mind about liking someone. One day I might feel completely infactuated or indeed in love (talking about 5 year relationship, 8 month relationship or a few flings) and then the next day I might wake up feeling quite repulsed at the idea of being close to that person. It's really getting to me, I wish I could just be more consistent.

I'm like that. The key is space. Only hang out with them a few times a week. Works like a charm.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by catsis)
I'm like that. The key is space. Only hang out with them a few times a week. Works like a charm.
Nice to hear from someone who has this too. It's also nice to not feel mad, just different. That's a good strategy though sometimes plans needs to be followed if you commit to someone and I'd like to make my feelings more consistent so as not to disappoint the other person or feel anxious.
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catsis
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nice to hear from someone who has this too. It's also nice to not feel mad, just different. That's a good strategy though sometimes plans needs to be followed if you commit to someone and I'd like to make my feelings more consistent so as not to disappoint the other person or feel anxious.
Yeah. I mean I talked it out with my ex. I explained that I liked him but I'm the sort of person that needs their space otherwise I would start to be repulsed by his presence. He didn't like it but he understood that I needed it and so he gave me the space I wanted.
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mbanrat
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(Original post by Maid Marian)
Well, make your mind up. Once you start getting involved with other people, you can't be changing your mind on them every five minutes as it's not fair on them.
i feel the same way as the person in the original post, and i’d just like to say, it’s not that simple, you do feel bad about it, and you don’t want to change your mind, i wish i didn’t, i’d love to be able to be consistent but i physically cant, and im fully aware it’s not fair on the person, it’s also not fair on me though, i don’t choose to change my mind
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mei.18
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I am having the same problems, with the past ex- and the present ones,.. and tbh it kinda does destroy a person,.. it is making me go crazy the thought you love someone and then next day they just give a different vibe and makes you lose your mind and think totally different about that person, i wish i was just normal and never do what i do and do what i always end up doing and follow what i am thinking and tell them truth, i hate it because i end up breaking their heart after telling them and then i feel more broken than i was and then makes me feel like i am worthless and think i will be single forever.
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Ciel.
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****, they sound like me. are you me, op? i'm too scared to check, lmfao
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connie_a15
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i know this was ages ago but I'm struggling with the exact same thing did you find a solution??
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sissi357
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Not that I know of, but I'm struggling with it as well.
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Rosiepino
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#18
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Maybe it’s your hormonal cycle. I’ve noticed I’m compulsive about ending relationships before my period
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The Rose
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(Original post by Rosiepino)
Maybe it’s your hormonal cycle. I’ve noticed I’m compulsive about ending relationships before my period
This thread is six years old...
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notmawie
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I feel the same way every now and then. I'll be all over someone but just one flaw can make me run away from him. I can't help but think if this is a response to trauma?
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