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Guys: you love her, what would you do? Watch

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    Okay so imagine...you love a woman and you've been together for long enough to know it isn't just lust.

    She's caring, nice face, looks after herself, fun to be around, you share the same interests and make eachother laugh. So you're generally all round compatable.

    She thinks she might not be able to have children and if this is the case she would consider adoption and other options. It turns out she cannot have children but all of the above still applies.

    What would you do?

    a) stay with her because you love her and you would therefore be willing to look into adoption or try other options.

    b) slowly distance yourself, leave her and find another woman who can bare your child.

    Be honest and elaborate on your answers
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    suffice it to say FHRITP
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    Stay with. I am unsure about whether I want children anyway, plus that means I can raw dog her anytime with no fears of accidental pregnancy.
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    I don't want children anyway and neither does my SO. But if you would consider leaving that person for some not yet existent entity then I'd say it isn't love at all.

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    (Original post by Four Queue)
    Stay with. I am unsure about whether I want children anyway, plus that means I can raw dog her anytime with no fears of accidental pregnancy.

    (Original post by swirly)
    suffice it to say FHRITP
    Such beautiful sentiments...
    Ahem
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    I wouldn't leave her for that reason, it would not make sense.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    I wouldn't leave her for that reason, it would not make sense.

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    Wouldn't it? Do you want children of some sort?
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    Sounds an awful lot like you've been watching far too much How I Met Your Mother, or you've found your Robin.
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    I'm undecided whether I want children, I'm not at a stage where I've decided what I want. But if you're serious about someone, if she makes you happy, if she's the best woman for you, then it makes no sense to leave her for being barren. There are other options. Being able to bear children isn't a must, that's my opinion (for now). What you should ask yourself is, can you do better? Do you have any doubts about the relationship, or are you perfectly happy to stay with her? In my opinion, her fertility isn't an issue. But that's just me.

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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    I'm undecided whether I want children, I'm not at a stage where I've decided what I want. But if you're serious about someone, if she makes you happy, if she's the best woman for you, then it makes no sense to leave her for being barren. There are other options. Being able to bear children isn't a must, that's my opinion (for now). What you should ask yourself is, can you do better? Do you have any doubts about the relationship, or are you perfectly happy to stay with her? In my opinion, her fertility isn't an issue. But that's just me.

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    I'm a girl so I'd side with her. It's hypothetical though.

    I appreciate your attitude towards it and seems nice that you'd have this approach when a lot of the time in your other threads you put on the nonchalant facade.

    But you are capable of compassion. 10/10 for today
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    (Original post by soufflekitty)
    Sounds an awful lot like you've been watching far too much How I Met Your Mother, or you've found your Robin.
    Nope don't watch HIMYM, what's the situation there?

    And no Robin, just a hypothetical situation
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    That's the thing about love... It's not a decision making process. It's something you can't help, whether it's present or absent.

    In other news, there is such a thing as surrogacy et al, certainly in the future should become more accessible.

    If your romantic inclinations towards this person were just an elegant way of pursuing your reproductive agenda, you've got to take a step back and realise that maybe it would've been useful to share this explicitly rather than go with the flow and end up in this particular, not so easy situation.

    I reiterate the first point: If you love someone, you can't decide to unlove them. Meeting someone else and leading them on just to get them to make your child while you're in love with the first person is in no way something anyone would be happy doing in this situation.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a girl so I'd side with her. It's hypothetical though.

    I appreciate your attitude towards it and seems nice that you'd have this approach when a lot of the time in your other threads you put on the nonchalant facade.

    But you are capable of compassion. 10/10 for today
    I don't understand what you mean, when have I ever put on a "nonchalant facade"? I'm a straight shooter. Why the hell would a man leave a woman because of something that is out of her control? You'd have to be mad!

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    Good question, I'd stay with because if I love her as much as you said, then I'd be satisfied with adoption with her.
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    (Original post by Illegal Algebra)
    I don't understand what you mean, when have I ever put on a "nonchalant facade"? I'm a straight shooter. Why the hell would a man leave a woman because of something that is out of her control? You'd have to be mad!

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    Sorry I guess that's unfair to make assumptions like that from your posts.

    I agree but I think some men are all about their amazing seed etc so they want to make gorgeous babies and if she can't she's a dud. But then these guys probably won't make the best dads anyway...
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    Stay with and consider donor eggs? Unless she doesn't have a womb (or womb condition) should could possible still carry a baby to term-and that's what a lot of woman want to experience.And if she used a donor egg yeah the majority of the DNA wouldn't match hers, but the baby would still have maternal mitochondrial DNA and yours and thus the baby would be technically genetically both yours.

    I'm a girl but just thought I'd put that out there.
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    (Original post by SnooFnoo)
    Stay with and consider donor eggs? Unless she doesn't have a womb (or womb condition) should could possible still carry a baby to term-and that's what a lot of woman want to experience.And if she used a donor egg yeah the majority of the DNA wouldn't match hers, but the baby would still have maternal mitochondrial DNA and yours and thus the baby would be technically genetically both yours.

    I'm a girl but just thought I'd put that out there.
    Interesting. Thanks for some science
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Interesting. Thanks for some science
    Science FTW
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    I'm not sure I want kids so wouldn't bother me too much I don't think. That's now though, in ten years it might be different.
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    (Original post by Flying Cookie)
    That's the thing about love... It's not a decision making process. It's something you can't help, whether it's present or absent.

    In other news, there is such a thing as surrogacy et al, certainly in the future should become more accessible.

    If your romantic inclinations towards this person were just an elegant way of pursuing your reproductive agenda, you've got to take a step back and realise that maybe it would've been useful to share this explicitly rather than go with the flow and end up in this particular, not so easy situation.

    I reiterate the first point: If you love someone, you can't decide to unlove them. Meeting someone else and leading them on just to get them to make your child while you're in love with the first person is in no way something anyone would be happy doing in this situation.
    I'm a girl so I'd side with her but I suppose I had the guy that's obsessed with his amazing 'seed' and passing on his flawless genes in mind when I made the thread. I think that's a bit of a basic view but I've heard something along those lines from a few guys on here. Bit sad.
 
 
 
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