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Lost, shocked & cheated. Please advise..
Hi everyone!
I'm not sure where to start, to make a long story short, I was in a relationship with a guy I had met online for over two years. We have been through many rough patches together and I even boarded a flight to USA to be with him for one whole month. We got engaged, completely in love and happy..until..we both started working a few months ago.
It was just last week, he finally revealed the first shocking secret he'd been hiding from me. I was upset that he had been lying to me but after all this time, I've come to love him whole heartedly, whether he drinks, gambles or even uses drugs, I can't hate him, deep down, I know I can always forgive him and that's what I did..I tried to be as understanding as possible, considering his situation, I even tried to comfort him and gave him support, disregarding my own feelings. Then a few days ago, BAM!!! It hit me like a double-sided blade, with no mercy. Tuesday night, he had gone to a party...so he says but by Wednesday afternoon, he still hadn't called me. I grew worried as he usually calls, so I ended up digging my own grave. Although it was over the fone, the words stabbed me so deep, I forgot to breathe for a while. Even now, I can still hear the careless words, ringing in my head, saying over and over:
"I had a few drinks, made out with this girl...and you know where that leads!?"..."Who do you think it was?"..."Yeah, the girl from my workplace, I like her, she's fun to be with!"..."If you fly over here now, I'd feel stuck!"..."I still love you!"...
I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't know what to think...so I managed to find my voice & coughed up the only word I dreaded most.. "Goodbye" and hung up before I could allow any tears to fall. How could he say he love me completely and go sleep with someone else? How can he still say those three sacred words so easily? How could he even tell me about what he did with her so carelessly as though his actions were nothing at all? I still don't understand.
Friday morning, I received an sms on my fone.."Pls don't hate me!"
It made my whole day at work so horrible! The last few days since that fone conversation, I've been keeping myself together, trying to focus on just work and work so hard to keep my mind occupied and I've been coping fine until I foolishly opened that msg and read it. All of friday, I kept making so many mistakes at work, and even found myself close to tears. My heart had been aching as though it had been pierced over and over...but I tried my best to keep strong, so I refused to cry, no matter what! Then Saturday, I received an email from him...
"miss you, hope you're ok. i would like to talk with you sometime..i check my mail everyday...ive been going out alot last few days, not with "her" but just with friends to help myself not think about everything..please take good care of yourself, i will always love you"
It hurts. All of his words seems like a big lie to me now. All those promises he made, he was even planning to fly over here to be together until summer's over and when he start studying again, we had planned for me to move over there to be with him, to keep him happy and away from bad habits such as drinking...I was willing to sacrifice everything over here, my job, my house, and everyone I know...just to follow the only man I love b/c if he didnt' like it here, I would go with him to the ends of the earth.
Just this morning...he emailed me, since I've been ignorant to reply to any of his msgs..
"I guess i already lost you.., i truly am destined to be alone...i dont deserve you, i gave you up to try someone that doesnt even like me and now once again i am single and hate it...im sorry, i want to give up..."
I'm scared...not for myself but for him. I'm afraid to think of the path he may choose to take from here...I want to reach out to him, I still love him truly and deeply..but I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't quite understand if he still has any feelings for me or if he's just simply hanging on for now b/c there's no one else and he's feeling lost? What steps should I take to help him but at the same time, protect myself from being hurt? Does he still have me in his heart or have I already truly lost him for good? I'm scared he'll do things that he will regret in the future. All I want now is for him to be happy and by then I'll be at peace and able to move on...
Everyone, please give me your advise...I don't mind if it's simply a personal opinon. I'd really appreciate any view points at this stage.
I'm not sure where to start, to make a long story short, I was in a relationship with a guy I had met online for over two years. We have been through many rough patches together and I even boarded a flight to USA to be with him for one whole month. We got engaged, completely in love and happy..until..we both started working a few months ago.
It was just last week, he finally revealed the first shocking secret he'd been hiding from me. I was upset that he had been lying to me but after all this time, I've come to love him whole heartedly, whether he drinks, gambles or even uses drugs, I can't hate him, deep down, I know I can always forgive him and that's what I did..I tried to be as understanding as possible, considering his situation, I even tried to comfort him and gave him support, disregarding my own feelings. Then a few days ago, BAM!!! It hit me like a double-sided blade, with no mercy. Tuesday night, he had gone to a party...so he says but by Wednesday afternoon, he still hadn't called me. I grew worried as he usually calls, so I ended up digging my own grave. Although it was over the fone, the words stabbed me so deep, I forgot to breathe for a while. Even now, I can still hear the careless words, ringing in my head, saying over and over:
"I had a few drinks, made out with this girl...and you know where that leads!?"..."Who do you think it was?"..."Yeah, the girl from my workplace, I like her, she's fun to be with!"..."If you fly over here now, I'd feel stuck!"..."I still love you!"...
I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't know what to think...so I managed to find my voice & coughed up the only word I dreaded most.. "Goodbye" and hung up before I could allow any tears to fall. How could he say he love me completely and go sleep with someone else? How can he still say those three sacred words so easily? How could he even tell me about what he did with her so carelessly as though his actions were nothing at all? I still don't understand.
Friday morning, I received an sms on my fone.."Pls don't hate me!"
It made my whole day at work so horrible! The last few days since that fone conversation, I've been keeping myself together, trying to focus on just work and work so hard to keep my mind occupied and I've been coping fine until I foolishly opened that msg and read it. All of friday, I kept making so many mistakes at work, and even found myself close to tears. My heart had been aching as though it had been pierced over and over...but I tried my best to keep strong, so I refused to cry, no matter what! Then Saturday, I received an email from him...
"miss you, hope you're ok. i would like to talk with you sometime..i check my mail everyday...ive been going out alot last few days, not with "her" but just with friends to help myself not think about everything..please take good care of yourself, i will always love you"
It hurts. All of his words seems like a big lie to me now. All those promises he made, he was even planning to fly over here to be together until summer's over and when he start studying again, we had planned for me to move over there to be with him, to keep him happy and away from bad habits such as drinking...I was willing to sacrifice everything over here, my job, my house, and everyone I know...just to follow the only man I love b/c if he didnt' like it here, I would go with him to the ends of the earth.
Just this morning...he emailed me, since I've been ignorant to reply to any of his msgs..
"I guess i already lost you.., i truly am destined to be alone...i dont deserve you, i gave you up to try someone that doesnt even like me and now once again i am single and hate it...im sorry, i want to give up..."
I'm scared...not for myself but for him. I'm afraid to think of the path he may choose to take from here...I want to reach out to him, I still love him truly and deeply..but I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't quite understand if he still has any feelings for me or if he's just simply hanging on for now b/c there's no one else and he's feeling lost? What steps should I take to help him but at the same time, protect myself from being hurt? Does he still have me in his heart or have I already truly lost him for good? I'm scared he'll do things that he will regret in the future. All I want now is for him to be happy and by then I'll be at peace and able to move on...
Everyone, please give me your advise...I don't mind if it's simply a personal opinon. I'd really appreciate any view points at this stage.
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
What a bastard.
Thank the lord you saw him for what he was before you did give up everything. Treat this as a learning curve, when my ex had another girl in our bed I decided (after days of sobbing) to get a grip of myself and put it down as another one of life's experiences. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but at least you can walk away with your dignity intact.
Once I'd gotten to grips with the fact that I hadn't done anything wrong, it was much easier to put behind me. You will find it much easier too, in the long term, if you don't contact this guy again.
Thank the lord you saw him for what he was before you did give up everything. Treat this as a learning curve, when my ex had another girl in our bed I decided (after days of sobbing) to get a grip of myself and put it down as another one of life's experiences. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but at least you can walk away with your dignity intact.
Once I'd gotten to grips with the fact that I hadn't done anything wrong, it was much easier to put behind me. You will find it much easier too, in the long term, if you don't contact this guy again.
Reply 2
19
He is not your responsibility and thus it is not your place to worry about what path he might choose from here. He made his bed and now must lie in it. As you have correctly identified, surely he does not really love you if he went and slept with someone else. You deserve better.
Reply 3
Meeting people online is a risky business - much better to meet someone locally because you can see them in their own environment before you get emotionally tied up in knots.
All the normal hurdles put in the way of relationships get bypassed (like missing trains & not showing up, being ill and not wanting to see each other, meeting family...etc etc) and in fact overcoming these hurdles is what makes for a goosd realtionship.
People say things online they would never ever say face to face - so that "connection" everyone is looking for seems to happen so quickly.
But this is not neccessarily who they are.
All the normal hurdles put in the way of relationships get bypassed (like missing trains & not showing up, being ill and not wanting to see each other, meeting family...etc etc) and in fact overcoming these hurdles is what makes for a goosd realtionship.
People say things online they would never ever say face to face - so that "connection" everyone is looking for seems to happen so quickly.
But this is not neccessarily who they are.
Reply 4
*hugs for you*
he doesnt deserve you
you can and WILL find someone who treats you better than this man did
and i hope it all goes well for you
nobody deserves to be treated like that by another person.
good luck!
xXx
he doesnt deserve you
you can and WILL find someone who treats you better than this man did
and i hope it all goes well for you
nobody deserves to be treated like that by another person.
good luck!
xXx
Reply 5
he may at one point have loved you, but to sleep with someone else, no matter the excuse shows he has a complete lack of respect and love for you, you are a better person without him, hes using guilt to try and goad you back into a relationship with him, dont sacrifice what you have for a maybe you'll only get hurt down the line, if you want to help then that is your choice, but lay down some rules first, 1. your no longer interested (if thats the way you want to go), 2. your only helping him because you care for him and his safety, not because you want to get back together, i hope this helps, if you want to talk, pm me, youve already taken the first steps in taking back your life not forge onward and blaze a path back to happiness
yours chris
yours chris
Reply 6
I agree with the rest, if he loved you he would not cheat, there is no excuse for it.
Reply 7
hunny -hugs- i am lost for words and can utterly sympathise with ur situation. I had a similar experinece as to urs i met a 37 yr old online i was 16 , i would have done exactly what u did but he told me he never loved me and he confessed he was married and had children it scarred me and i said exactly the same u did "goodbye" and it was such a hard time for me i tried to not think of him, on occasions i would see myself writing hate emails to him but i stopped and saved them in my inbox just to express myself ...a good friend of mine told me not to bother , to forget , to not bother a 1% its been 2 and half years now without him and i see myself looking back thinking "what a naive innocent young girl i was to fall for a man that lied to me" he would talk sexually with me as well , when i didnt like it but hed force ...u can tell he was a pedo....my advise to u is hunny although its going to be hard for u its going to take extremely long time for u get over him but u need to do everything u can to forget him no matter what it takes....i closed my pc for a very long time and only used it for work and study purposes , i only used it for important purposes...i use to self harm my way out of the situation but that was never good ...i was at the point of commiting suicide ...i try not to think of the past ...as its gone for good....i call him "shadow" as he was just a shadow haunting me and following me ...and now hes gone ....the sun is up n ive moved on for a better life ...sometimes it hurts thinking of it ...but its helped me learn a valuable lesson ...i can totally sympathise with u ...but u need to cut contacts with this guy and speak to someone...i spoke to a counceller...sometimes she helped sometimes she didnt ....but u need someone that ur close to ...someone u can trust ...u perhaps need someone to talk to as time will only heal the situation ...if u like i can give u my email address and if u need any talking id be more than willing to help as ive been through the same crap and i know how it feels ...but for now leave him...leave him before he destroys u more....-hugs- sorry if this is wordy but ive typed all my feelings at once ...take care and do update us -huggies-
Reply 8
You did the right thing.
It's going to hurt no matter what you do, but it will hurt a lot less if you just delete his messages and ignore him completely. He will realise what a prat he's been, and you'll learn from the experience. Just forget about him, even if it takes a lot, because you're better off without someone like that. He does deserve to be alone.
It's going to hurt no matter what you do, but it will hurt a lot less if you just delete his messages and ignore him completely. He will realise what a prat he's been, and you'll learn from the experience. Just forget about him, even if it takes a lot, because you're better off without someone like that. He does deserve to be alone.
Reply 9
8
anyone see the irony in the first sentence?
girl, he is a loser. a ******. probably the only reason he;s calling you now is because the work girl doesn't want him any more.I'm sorry, but you have to face it: he's right about one thing - YOU DESERVE BETTER. even a complete moron deserves better than that- and you're much better than a moron. If he's threatening you with silly suggestions let him, you have done nothing to hurt him.
girl, he is a loser. a ******. probably the only reason he;s calling you now is because the work girl doesn't want him any more.I'm sorry, but you have to face it: he's right about one thing - YOU DESERVE BETTER. even a complete moron deserves better than that- and you're much better than a moron. If he's threatening you with silly suggestions let him, you have done nothing to hurt him.
Reply 10
Show me the path to his barlocks so that we can kicketh them!
Reply 11
He is a selfish and manipulative person with a lot of problems, who is using you. This is something you will not want to believe, because of the sympathy you gave him. I guess he really "fed on you" like a vampire, sucking up your strenght and relying on you to keep him going.
He will not change, if you go on helping him. Even though it sounds callous, you should cut off contact with him, for your sake and for his. If he comes round and manages to get himself organized he might be an option again, but that will take a while.
Think of what life would be like, giving up yourself and all you have only to be trodden on. To be exchanged for a bottle or any old girl at the drop of a hat. That is what you are facing with this person now. Don't do that to yourself. Stay well away from this man is my advice, same as the others here have said. I guess it would be good to talk to a few people about this situation. Parents? Friends? Counsellors?
Take care of yourself now!
He will not change, if you go on helping him. Even though it sounds callous, you should cut off contact with him, for your sake and for his. If he comes round and manages to get himself organized he might be an option again, but that will take a while.
Think of what life would be like, giving up yourself and all you have only to be trodden on. To be exchanged for a bottle or any old girl at the drop of a hat. That is what you are facing with this person now. Don't do that to yourself. Stay well away from this man is my advice, same as the others here have said. I guess it would be good to talk to a few people about this situation. Parents? Friends? Counsellors?
Take care of yourself now!
Reply 12
huggi3s
OP
Everyone, thank you so kindly for your honest and sound advice/opinions so far...I truly do appreciate all of your kind & understanding thoughts regarding my current problem...
It has been such a shock to me, this whole dilemma came so suddenly & unexpectedly that even right now, I feel as though I'm just having a bad nightmare, as if I will wake up any moment now and everything would be exactly the way it was...
I'm currently on my lunch break at work and honestly, i have lost my appetite for the whole week now...I do try to eat but even just one spoonful of food is so hard to swallow. I couldn't even finish this wonderful cupcake that my workmate has baked for our morning tea, I feel bad that it's still sitting here in front of me, as though I'm telling her that it's not good but I don't mean to say that at all! =(
An email arrived this morning at 10.30am from him...and I'm so scared right now, I'm fighting with myself, my own will...this urge to call him is so strong, I'm terrified of losing myself once again. This is what his email says:
"I'm a lost cause..someone that drifts from one thing to another. I found love and i gave it up on the spur of the moment. When i miss the person i love i drown my sorrow with drugs trying to forget the pain..i know its wrong, but i cant take this anymore, i love you A and i dont know how much longer i will be here...ive gone to deep and i feel like i will slip in soon, my chest aches, my brain wont stop working and im ready to give up everything..i know that even if you are still there, even if you do still care that you wont want me..i just hope that you will talk to me, give me a sign that your still there before i go too far..im going out today i cant do this A, im about to slip alittle deeper and i dont care anymore..i have nothing left to lose
i love you"
I didn't mention before but I was his first gf ever...could it be that there is no way to compromise this situation? Is it not possible to give him another 2nd chance? Can I not trust him anymore? I'm just so worried that he might be going down the worse path in life and end up permanently wounded from his wrong actions and unable to ever get his life back together...
Honestly, I've read today's email over and over and even now, I still don't quite understand what he's trying to say..
I would really appreciate to hear all your thoughts/opinions on this...
Thank you once again, everyone..you have been very supportive and encouraging to me.
It has been such a shock to me, this whole dilemma came so suddenly & unexpectedly that even right now, I feel as though I'm just having a bad nightmare, as if I will wake up any moment now and everything would be exactly the way it was...
I'm currently on my lunch break at work and honestly, i have lost my appetite for the whole week now...I do try to eat but even just one spoonful of food is so hard to swallow. I couldn't even finish this wonderful cupcake that my workmate has baked for our morning tea, I feel bad that it's still sitting here in front of me, as though I'm telling her that it's not good but I don't mean to say that at all! =(
An email arrived this morning at 10.30am from him...and I'm so scared right now, I'm fighting with myself, my own will...this urge to call him is so strong, I'm terrified of losing myself once again. This is what his email says:
"I'm a lost cause..someone that drifts from one thing to another. I found love and i gave it up on the spur of the moment. When i miss the person i love i drown my sorrow with drugs trying to forget the pain..i know its wrong, but i cant take this anymore, i love you A and i dont know how much longer i will be here...ive gone to deep and i feel like i will slip in soon, my chest aches, my brain wont stop working and im ready to give up everything..i know that even if you are still there, even if you do still care that you wont want me..i just hope that you will talk to me, give me a sign that your still there before i go too far..im going out today i cant do this A, im about to slip alittle deeper and i dont care anymore..i have nothing left to lose
i love you"
I didn't mention before but I was his first gf ever...could it be that there is no way to compromise this situation? Is it not possible to give him another 2nd chance? Can I not trust him anymore? I'm just so worried that he might be going down the worse path in life and end up permanently wounded from his wrong actions and unable to ever get his life back together...
Honestly, I've read today's email over and over and even now, I still don't quite understand what he's trying to say..
I would really appreciate to hear all your thoughts/opinions on this...
Thank you once again, everyone..you have been very supportive and encouraging to me.
Reply 13
15
You can't just stay with someone to save them. It's compromising your morals and your own happiness.
Sounds like he's trying a bit of the ole emotional blackmail, alluding to suicide because life without you is so terrible. He should have thought of that before.
Sounds like a bum to me. Best off without.
Sounds like he's trying a bit of the ole emotional blackmail, alluding to suicide because life without you is so terrible. He should have thought of that before.
Sounds like a bum to me. Best off without.
Reply 14
I agree with Fleece, emotional blackmail definitely. That email just sounds exactly like something my ex boyfriend would say to worm his way back in before cheating again. I'm not buying any of it. It's quite pathetic, really.
It's his dick, he knew exactly where he was putting it and was only too aware that this is how you'd feel when you found out. Yet he went ahead and did it regardless, Don't fall for that crap!! Please!!
It's his dick, he knew exactly where he was putting it and was only too aware that this is how you'd feel when you found out. Yet he went ahead and did it regardless, Don't fall for that crap!! Please!!
Reply 15
sack it, hes not worth it, if the bum can do something so hurtful to you, there is no need for you to try and even pretend to care for him, if hes not strong enough to take care of himself, tough, but you are, move on and have a long, happy and fulfilled life
good luck
yours chris
good luck
yours chris
Reply 16
huggi3s
OP
I understand what everyone is saying and I know it's the best possible choice to make...but my conscience isn't letting me off easily...
In my mind right now, I think that he's not doing drugs b/c i won't talk to him, it seems to me as though he's just feeling lonely, depressed & abit lost and whether I'm there or not, he's still gonna do it. At this point, I feel that I don't mean a thing to him anymore, that no matter what I do for him, it seems to have no impact..but then why won't he let me go???
Is it perhaps b/c I've never actually told him it's over? I've been feeling the urge all day long..to call him and end it, once and for all...and this is where my conscience comes in...
I'm afraid if I do so directly and bluntly, he'll feel even more rejected and might actually "give up" on himself. I have a feeling that he's feeling absolutely rejected only b/c of that "work girl", not b/c of me. He alr threw me out of his list of needs/wants that night...but I'm still worried that I might be the trigger if I make it officially over.
On the other hand, I can't really move on if it's like this, he's gonna keep emailing, msg'ing etc..and I'll keep feeling sad each time I see his words on the screen, it'll always bring back that bitter memory he has left for me and it hurts more than anything I've ever experienced in my life.
So, right now, my Q is..should I call to officially end it? He does have a sweet tongue...and many times in the past, I kept falling back into it..no matter how strong I tried to be, not to mention my feelings haven't actually changed as yet...so that's another negative aspect.
I know I want to move on and be happy...but I think you all know what it's like..when you're so deeply in love with someone, it's not easy to suddenly change your feelings overnight...infact, all this time, I've lost so many friends along the way b/c I have always stayed home (besides work/study) and devoted all of my time to him and it's been this way for over 2 years now...
I'm having mixed emotions right now, my heart is saying "call him" and my head already knows it's not wise to leave myself open for more pain.
Regardless of my feelings, this story needs an ending...I just don't know what's the best way to end it?!
In my mind right now, I think that he's not doing drugs b/c i won't talk to him, it seems to me as though he's just feeling lonely, depressed & abit lost and whether I'm there or not, he's still gonna do it. At this point, I feel that I don't mean a thing to him anymore, that no matter what I do for him, it seems to have no impact..but then why won't he let me go???
Is it perhaps b/c I've never actually told him it's over? I've been feeling the urge all day long..to call him and end it, once and for all...and this is where my conscience comes in...
I'm afraid if I do so directly and bluntly, he'll feel even more rejected and might actually "give up" on himself. I have a feeling that he's feeling absolutely rejected only b/c of that "work girl", not b/c of me. He alr threw me out of his list of needs/wants that night...but I'm still worried that I might be the trigger if I make it officially over.
On the other hand, I can't really move on if it's like this, he's gonna keep emailing, msg'ing etc..and I'll keep feeling sad each time I see his words on the screen, it'll always bring back that bitter memory he has left for me and it hurts more than anything I've ever experienced in my life.
So, right now, my Q is..should I call to officially end it? He does have a sweet tongue...and many times in the past, I kept falling back into it..no matter how strong I tried to be, not to mention my feelings haven't actually changed as yet...so that's another negative aspect.
I know I want to move on and be happy...but I think you all know what it's like..when you're so deeply in love with someone, it's not easy to suddenly change your feelings overnight...infact, all this time, I've lost so many friends along the way b/c I have always stayed home (besides work/study) and devoted all of my time to him and it's been this way for over 2 years now...
I'm having mixed emotions right now, my heart is saying "call him" and my head already knows it's not wise to leave myself open for more pain.
Regardless of my feelings, this story needs an ending...I just don't know what's the best way to end it?!
Reply 17
19
Do you really want to be with someone who does drugs?!
As Fleece says, you can't be with someone just to save them. That is not a reason. I'll tell you how you end it - you end it by not contacting him. He will find someone else and so will you.
As Fleece says, you can't be with someone just to save them. That is not a reason. I'll tell you how you end it - you end it by not contacting him. He will find someone else and so will you.
Reply 18
11
Angelil
Do you really want to be with someone who does drugs?!
As Fleece says, you can't be with someone just to save them. That is not a reason. I'll tell you how you end it - you end it by not contacting him. He will find someone else and so will you.
As Fleece says, you can't be with someone just to save them. That is not a reason. I'll tell you how you end it - you end it by not contacting him. He will find someone else and so will you.
Reply 19
He knows your nature and he can use it to manipulate you. So he's telling you he's lonely, he's saying he might do something stupid.. Ask yourself, why? Because you couldn't possibly "cut him off", if he said something like that to you. I'm guessing he knows already that you are in two minds about this, and as long as you have not been headstrong and blunt with him, he knows there is room to get his own way.
I'm sorry to keep referring back to mt ex, but this reminds me so much of what I went through with him. Literally every time I decided I'd had enough of his lies and told him I was leaving, he said he was going to kill himself. He'd remind me of how my life would be ruined if he killed himself because of me, how everyone would hate me etc etc. I felt sorry and fell for it every time. He wasn't stupid and realised very quickly that I could never leave no matter what he did, as all he had to do was emotionally blackmail me into staying. Babe I wasted 4 years of my teenage life on this loser, and the realisation that I'd messed up my A Levels, delayed going to uni, had all sorts of injuries and had £4000 of debt thanks to this d*ckhead was far more painful than leaving him behind.
He's almost getting away with cheating on you, ad can you really be sure that this is the first time? How can you be certain that anything he's telling you is true? A relationship as long distance as yours is unlikely to spawn anything other than hurt if I'm being perfectly honest with you sweetheart.
Cut your losses and find yourself a nice man you can me close to, physically and otherwise.
I'm sorry to keep referring back to mt ex, but this reminds me so much of what I went through with him. Literally every time I decided I'd had enough of his lies and told him I was leaving, he said he was going to kill himself. He'd remind me of how my life would be ruined if he killed himself because of me, how everyone would hate me etc etc. I felt sorry and fell for it every time. He wasn't stupid and realised very quickly that I could never leave no matter what he did, as all he had to do was emotionally blackmail me into staying. Babe I wasted 4 years of my teenage life on this loser, and the realisation that I'd messed up my A Levels, delayed going to uni, had all sorts of injuries and had £4000 of debt thanks to this d*ckhead was far more painful than leaving him behind.
He's almost getting away with cheating on you, ad can you really be sure that this is the first time? How can you be certain that anything he's telling you is true? A relationship as long distance as yours is unlikely to spawn anything other than hurt if I'm being perfectly honest with you sweetheart.
Cut your losses and find yourself a nice man you can me close to, physically and otherwise.
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