The Student Room Group

One night hookups then a relationship?

Hey everyone,

I don't quite grasp this concept of like having sex with someone you meet in a club lets say and expecting them to call you back the next day. Can somebody please explain it to me. So do you meet in a nighclub and have a few drinks, he chats you up, then you have sex and expect him to call you the day after. But normally you need to take girls on a few dates before they'd allow you to have sex which is the "3 date" rule generally. I've not dated yet as I'm too young and don't quite get it. Can someone explain this whole dating, one night hookups and then starting a relationship

Also! I remember I was watching a programm on telly yesterday and this guy and girl met at a bar, had a chat, a drink and had sex. The girl then asked are we official, after meeting with the guy for like a few hours and then having sex with him. Is this normal? I don't get it
that's not normal and usually a hookup on a night out wouldn't lead to any more contact... but occasionally if two people really hit it off, or knew each other already it may kickstart something more and they may then start dating
Reply 2
I don't think that ONS (one night stands) are good for starting relationships although by some miracle some people manage to extend it and start a relationship but I really couldn't tell you how, never happened to me so not sure what the secret is so I don't get it either. Whatever is I don't even think it will make sense as it's probably not rational to start a relation with someone who you have sex with within 2-6 hours of meeting.

The 3 date rule in my opinion is no good. Yeah it worked for me when I was younger and impulsive but now I'd really rather wait longer. Power to people who do have their fun early on but through experience I have learned that for me sex feels better with someone I have a deep connection with, which for me takes longer than 3 dates.

The thing is I think you need to find out what works for you, know what you want and make your own rules based on that. Always be yourself!
(edited 9 years ago)
Honestly it is between you and your partner. You do not need to have a ONS to start a relationship, you can choose to date for a while, confirm your relationship and then have sex (you also don't need to count the dates, just do what you and your partner feel is right). Usually ONS's are between two strangers or friends who have sex and then choose to forget it and to be platonic or just strangers; that's why it's one night. However me and my boyfriend started off with a ONS (don't regret it in the slightest) and we've been together for over a year. If a relationship came from a ONS that would normally be because of the chemistry between the people, it is unusual though.

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