So this is gonna be long but I really need some advice.
Some background info:
Right now I'm in year 13 and have decided not to apply to uni this year as I want to get into medicine but my AS grades were not that good (BCCD) but i'm retaking some and am now on track to get A*A*A - AAA and intend on applying during a gap year.
So I moved to another sixth form in the beginning of year 12 but decided to move back to my old school's sixth form as the old one was far and was not worth the travel time. I admit that my behaviour was not good last year, I made stupid choices like cheating on a mock (and got caught) and in general not bothering as much as I should have. I got in a lot of trouble for not coming in during exam time because I was staying home to revise blah blah. But I have changed soo much this year. I am top of the class in all my subjects this year (understandably, the teachers are suspicious) and they even ask me how I'm getting good grades.
Anyway, my problem right now is that my Head of Year HATES me! She will joke around with everyone and everyone loves her but with me it's cutting sarcasm and sly insults.
When I talked to her about taking a gap year she laughed at me and said 'you're not going to get into medicine, be realistic and apply for biomed or something' Then she said she's going to make an app called gap life inspired by me and that i'm just going to be sitting home all day and not actually do anything.
when I asked to retake C1 maths instead of statistics because it would be easier to revise for alongside A2 modules, she said 'well, is it's soo easy and you're soo smart then why didn't you get 100% the first time'
She even gossips about me to other students. When my friend wanted to take a gap year and went to her she said 'At least you're not like [me], at least you have a plan. Mr [science teacher] and I think she's going to take a gap-life' Even though I told her about my plan a million times!
One time she was covering our lesson and as she was taking the register she stops at my name and said 'And what have you decided to do with your life' and even though i tried to explain, she just cut me off and said 'you better start organising something soon'
Today, worst of all, I was in agony because my tummy area so I went to her and said I was ill, crying because of the pain, and she was like 'what do you want me to do?' so i asked to go home and she cut me off again, said 'hmm let me check your attendance' she saw that was fine and then she said 'If it hurt that bad why come in for half an hour of school? (it started after I came in btw) you decide for yourself, is it really that bad. It's up to you' which might not sound hurtful but she said it all in a 'you look fine to me' kind of way. Then she told me to tell my teachers I would be missing their lessons. But then it hurt so bad, I couldn't move and I was waiting in the common room for my mum to come and take me to hospital and my friend came and I explained what happened. Then my mum arrived so I asked my HoY if she could e-mail the teachers for me and apologized and explained that it hurt to move and i couldn't go upstairs to tell them and she was like 'Really? You didn't seem to be hurt when you were talking to your friend over there.'
Anyway, sorry for rambling but I have no idea how to make her stop. She's also meant to be the one writing my reference next year ;'(
How to deal with my horrible head of year Watch
- Thread Starter
Last edited by ojj_12; 29-01-2015 at 00:02.
- 28-01-2015 23:53
- 29-01-2015 12:25
Does your mum know all about this? Could she help? It seems to me, and I think you recognise it too, that your HoY has reasons for feeling the way she does, but on the other hand, I think everyone deserves a second chance, and her behaviour does not sound entirely professional. However it won't help to tell her that.
Firstly, stay strong and try not to let her attitude affect how you do in your studies. Keep the moral high ground by continuing to obey the rules, work hard etc, and be unfailingly polite to her and your other teachers. There are a few options regarding this teacher. You can't make her like you, but I think your main issue is that you want the school to support your application to study medicine - if that's true, bear it in mind at all times.
You could get your mum to ask to meet with her, so she can say to her something like "xxx feels that you really don't like her, and she's quite worried about it. xxx knows she wasn't a good student last year, but she really has turned things around this year - her attitude at home is much better too. She really wants to apply for medicine but she's worried that you won't support her application, and I was wondering if that's true? and if so why not?" If you are confident enough, go the meeting as well, but stay calm and polite at all times. You could ask for a meeting with her by yourself, although it might help if another teacher was there as well.
Alternatively, if there is a deputy head of year, or your form teacher, or one of your subject teachers that you could talk to frankly, perhaps they could help? Explain that you know why she doesn't rate you, but you have changed, and you're really worried about her writing your Uni reference. (I hope you've been getting lots of relevant work experience if you're applying for medicine too - then you can point to some of that).
If all of this fails, maybe ask your mum to insist to the school that someone else writes your Uni reference, and perhaps get her to ask to read it to make sure it isn't unfair. Ultimately, you can make a complaint, but it's often better to sort these things out more informally if at all possible. Good luck.