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    are you a loner? the kind of person who I see at school who just walks around depressingly on their own wading from lesson to lesson, and hiding in the library or toilets at lunch?

    if so, why? what is it like to do that? do you wish you had the social skills to climb out of the hole you've dug?
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    yes, on every course I've been on, I've always been the one that never speaks, i'm always the one who hides away from people. I don't really know why i do this or why i don't speak to anyone and i wish i had the social skills to climb out of my hole.
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    (Original post by damoni)
    yes, on every course I've been on, I've always been the one that never speaks, i'm always the one who hides away from people. I don't really know why i do this or why i don't speak to anyone and i wish i had the social skills to climb out of my hole.

    oh dear, why?
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    I can talk to people easily but I choose to stay alone
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    Lol, that was me. It was pretty lonely.
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    (Original post by temporary_user)
    oh dear, why?
    well, i don't know why but i guess i think people would think i'm weird if i start talking to them. so i never do. wish i had the guts too, sometimes people don't even know i am in the room.
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    Loner signing in... I haven't always been like this I just feel really out of place since starting uni and also recovering from mental illness.

    I'm so scared that people think I'm stuck up or aloof because I don't introduce myself or talk to people but the reality is I actually think everyone else is better than me and too good for me to speak to
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    I go through phases of loneliness followed by enforced solitude but I can be sociable with a broader selection of people. However I have met very few people who truly work on the same realm of consciousness than me. One is my gay friend who I miss #slightlyhomo

    edit: 'school toilets' lol, dear I'm 22. But no I didn't hide there, I just need lots of time away from people-they're too stimulating
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    I was a bit of a loner at junior/middle school; had issues and managed to alienate myself pretty effectivey. Group hug loner-brigade :jumphug:
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    In a sense yes, not because I have difficulty speaking to people though, in class people tremble at speaking out loud; I don't have these difficulties. I have no difficulties speaking to strangers although I tend to be respectful of privacy so don't always connect well (emotional bonds are of course very important). I have little interest in most people tbh just very disinteresting so I isolate myself and speak to a few people I enjoy the company of.
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    I'm a bit of a loner. I say a hello to people from time to time and can chat/laugh. But I choose to spend time alone a lot. It does get lonely, especially at home.
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    (Original post by jazjaz)
    Loner signing in... I haven't always been like this I just feel really out of place since starting uni and also recovering from mental illness.

    I'm so scared that people think I'm stuck up or aloof because I don't introduce myself or talk to people but the reality is I actually think everyone else is better than me and too good for me to speak to
    thats pretty much exactly how i feel. People think i'm really arrogant but its just because i am so self conscious that i feel im not worthy of other people's attention.
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    I like being alone. I enjoy not talking to others.

    Initially, I was depressed about being a loner. No one would come and talk to me (because I was disinterested to talk about relationships and I studied in all girls school where everyone only talked about relationships). There was a girl I remember, she was a loner too. She was senior to me. Last year during summer she suicided.

    Now, I am happy about the fact that I am a loner. I dont want to be around fake people who can only talk about boys.

    I think people also tend to ignore me in school because all I talk about is novels xD but nevermind.
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    Yep, I was that person at school. I've learnt to accept it as I've grown older and now I'm a lot happier for it- some people are just not social butterflies!
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    Kind of. I have a laugh with people at school and I get on with most people but I don't see any school friends outside of school. I also see other friends less nowadays.. I mainly stay at home. I enjoy being with people and being alone equally.
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    (Original post by jazjaz)
    Loner signing in... I haven't always been like this I just feel really out of place since starting uni and also recovering from mental illness.

    I'm so scared that people think I'm stuck up or aloof because I don't introduce myself or talk to people but the reality is I actually think everyone else is better than me and too good for me to speak to
    I doubt it. Most people in this world have problems, although some more severe than others; those who are worthy of your conversation will be respectful of this, if you do not enter yourself into a conversation with others it is unlikely you will be invited except out of pity, you must assert yourself.

    Consider physiological and sociological explanations for your behaviour, and then experiment.
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    (Original post by nhtw)
    thats pretty much exactly how i feel. People think i'm really arrogant but its just because i am so self conscious that i feel im not worthy of other people's attention.
    :hugs: It's tough but somehow we'll beat this one day if we keep working at it! I really don't want to live the rest of my life in the shadows.
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    (Original post by jakeel1)
    I doubt it. Most people in this world have problems, although some more severe than others; those who are worthy of your conversation will be respectful of this, if you do not enter yourself into a conversation with others it is unlikely you will be invited except out of pity, you must assert yourself.

    Consider physiological and sociological explanations for your behaviour, and then experiment.
    Thanks but I'm aware of the need to assert myself... I hop-scotched between therapy and hospitals for years with anorexia and bulimia until last august so I have explored all the explanations so much I could publish several books on it... But I know I can make a full recovery but it wasn't built in a day believe me I'm working on it!
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    Yes, that sounds like me.......... social skills can be developed though, so you don't have to wish.
    You simply need to get proactive, unless you actually have something mentally wrong with you. In which case, I suspect there would be social groups you can join with similar people in your area.
    Volunteer work, join a church group (if your religious). There are so many options, and it sounds like I'm saying it's your own fault for being depressed and lonely.

    Cause it kinda is, if you want to meet new people and socialise you have to get in the game. 99% of life is just showing up, it sounds harder than it is if you are incredibly shy I know.

    Take a night course at your local college, like I said there are soooo many things and one will suit you. You just gotta go looking.
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    I was like that because I didn't like most of the people in my school and they were usually really nasty right off the bat even before introductions. I wasn't interested in what most of my classmates were talking about and half the time I didn't even understand what they were saying because they talked too fast for me to follow and about topics I had no background knowledge on. Any time I did attempt to interact it would come off as weird because I frankly didn't know what I was supposed to say or do.

    I used to get really anxious about it but now I have a "**** it" approach because being stressed about it just makes me physically sick and makes me come off as weirder. It's too complicated for me to psychoanalyse myself, no professional help available, much easier just to commit to being a friendly, kind and helpful person and if people think I'm awkward at socializing, tough titties. It's an issue if an employer doesn't quite get it, I have had to learn to act and take on a character when I work.
 
 
 
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