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My control freak nature is getting the best of me…ironically out of control trol olol Watch

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    -On my lunch break today I immediately found Multitalented me's thread about feeling undervalued, burned him unforgivably with Redpill/******* philosophy

    -After work amended this; got pulled into a debate for an hour on TSR while in Aldi about whether people should be given the truth, are some people better than others etc. to the point the security guard came over to check I was alright and on one thing I said that everyone should have to pass an annual Spartan test and be slaughtered if they do not pass

    -Went to the gym and became notably frustrated by only doing 3 sets of 10 pushups after a rowing session (dat lack of bulk), before this instigating a fight with the hand-dryer for blowing against my will and mocking me as I felt some of TSR/the girls in the gym were

    -Came home and had a go at dad for putting in a quarter of a can of salmon in our pasta dish but it turned out he used a salmon steak so yeah was a bit of a ****

    -Finally had a row with Dad for an hour about my use of information and studies being harmful to my wellbeing and me trying to explain why sometimes the information which hurts the most

    -He also thinks I think far too long-term and should stick on the very tangible real-world goals such as getting a bath or getting to bed on time,

    -I texted my mum about 'why do women tell pretty little lies to pander to insecure men' and her response was, after (pretending?) that her phone was dead for 3 hours, 'stop worrying and stop thinking too much' I literally cannot stop thinking I can only slow it down to and express it on a socially acceptable level also I accused Mum accidentally of being one of those women lying to me which may have hurt her so have had to apologise but took 3 hours doing so

    I am starting to think that I must have a lot of internal, existential stress separate to any goals or tangible responsibilities that I hold such as a job, either an abnormal level of this or terrible emotional management?

    A lot of this is motivated by my desire to become great, aim for perception because the closer I am the more control I have over everything and everyone, it's so frustrating having lack of control

    100% not trolling, verify with moderators if you must, I know I sound like I'm taking the piss most of the time but no, I actually am this tense and up-in-the-clouds
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    Personally think some anti psychotics might go down well...

    Seriously though dude. What psychological help do you get?
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    (Original post by Ebony19)
    Personally think some anti psychotics might go down well...

    Seriously though dude. What psychological help do you get?
    why anti-psychotics? The EIT ruled out psychosis fairly recently and suggested transparent severe anxiety disorder ongoing with intrusive thoughts and possible undiagnosed Aspergers judging by the detached way I think and lack of adherence to all conventional social norms

    Step 4 NHS IAPT waiting list for the last 3 months, several interventions, 1 year on Fluoxetine which worked well except for the first week where I went suicidal (OK I already was suicidal) then 'manic'-but bipolar is not suspected
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    why anti-psychotics? The EIT ruled out psychosis fairly recently and suggested transparent severe anxiety disorder ongoing with intrusive thoughts and possible undiagnosed Aspergers judging by the detached way I think and lack of adherence to all conventional social norms
    Okay shut up.

    What would you feel if I said I'll give you a hug? But I was real, not on here... in fact imagine that is real, that I am offering you a hug. When was the last time you had a hug? Do you want a hug?
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    (Original post by Ebony19)
    Okay shut up.

    What would you feel if I said I'll give you a hug? But I was real, not on here... in fact imagine that is real, that I am offering you a hug. When was the last time you had a hug? Do you want a hug?
    you told me to shut up, so I am slightly apprehensive of said hug due to offence, but I have been know to receive hugs, it's a nice gesture only marred by the previous comment; this was one of the few questions I answered NT on the AQ-7 I am afraid
    edit: were you offended by my assumptions of having ASD? This was the EIT GP's thoughts not mine (although yes I was curious)
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    you told me to shut up, so I am slightly apprehensive of said hug due to offence, but I have been know to receive hugs, it's a nice gesture only marred by the previous comment; this was one of the few questions I answered NT on the AQ-7 I am afraid
    Look I'm going to say something controversial that will offend you.

    I don't believe your problems are as bad as you think they are.

    You don't need to say 'marred by the previous comment'.

    You know it's a nice gesture. The rest doesn't matter, you said it was a nice gesture. You made that judgment. And if you're bad at understanding these things you wouldn't have chosen the emotive term nice. You knew how to use it.

    Now if you were feeling all riled up as you are now and I told you to be quiet and you had to be and I gave you a hug with my human arms. And I am a nice person. How would you feel? Forget what it is conventionally or what people might think a hug is for think about yourself and how you would feel. Tell me
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    (Original post by Ebony19)
    Look I'm going to say something controversial that will offend you.

    I don't believe your problems are as bad as you think they are. elaborate please?

    You don't need to say 'marred by the previous comment'.

    You know it's a nice gesture. The rest doesn't matter, you said it was a nice gesture. You made that judgment. And if you're bad at understanding these things you wouldn't have chosen the emotive term nice. You knew how to use it.
    hmm but I am 22, and it was not suspected SEVERELY autistic

    Now if you were feeling all riled up as you are now and I told you to be quiet and you had to be and I gave you a hug with my human arms. And I am a nice person. How would you feel? Forget what it is conventionally or what people might think a hug is for think about yourself and how you would feel. Tell me
    I would feel flattered and comforted, still upset that you need me to be quiet otherwise feel nice and warm

    yes I did wonder whether the doc was a fool re: Aspergers diagnosis.
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I would feel flattered and comforted, still upset that you need me to be quiet otherwise feel nice and warm

    yes I did wonder whether the doc was a fool re: Aspergers diagnosis.
    What do you feel like your main difficulties are? Please don't dazzle me with some grand sounding psychological diagnosis. That's pointless in this case because by the looks of things you'd drown in the amount proposed and so labelling yourself too much is useless in fact counterproductive.
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    (Original post by Ebony19)
    What do you feel like your main difficulties are? Please don't dazzle me with some grand sounding psychological diagnosis. That's pointless in this case because by the looks of things you'd drown in the amount proposed and so labelling yourself too much is useless in fact counterproductive.
    sleep

    getting to sleep

    making friends

    keeping friends

    being sociable

    looking after myself

    staying away from the world of pure imagination living there you';ll be fee if you truly wish to be

    trying not to deep dog the dog goes deep when the sleep goes deep keep keep but seriously I have gone down a rabbit hole

    mummy issues i miss mummy but mummy keeps trying to control me

    i transfer my anger at mummy to daddy

    i transfer my anger at daddy to food

    people like good looking people i'm scared of chocolate

    but chocolate is tasty but i don't want to die

    my my heart is dying

    of course it's dying i can't sleep can't sleep? no won't sleep too lazy why am i on the computer?

    in the computer i am in a world of pure marination

    but i have learned many things mostly making me sad and scared stuff like deep dog thread

    just lots of stuff some url called me fat when i was 10 and now i'm scared of girls but i know you will say stop caring what they think? I need to care what other people think it's the only thing which stops me from ruling earth as a god
    etc. etc. stuff sleep it's 3am bedtime

    thinks too much

    thinking too much

    having a brain

    controlling my brain

    controlling other people's brains

    being more evil than i would like everyone to believe hahaha

    missing god i do miss god they went away 5 years ago
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    sleep

    getting to sleep

    making friends

    keeping friends

    being sociable

    looking after myself

    staying away from the world of pure imagination living there you';ll be fee if you truly wish to be

    trying not to deep dog the dog goes deep when the sleep goes deep keep keep but seriously I have gone down a rabbit hole

    mummy issues i miss mummy but mummy keeps trying to control me

    i transfer my anger at mummy to daddy

    i transfer my anger at daddy to food

    people like good looking people i'm scared of chocolate

    but chocolate is tasty but i don't want to die

    my my heart is dying

    of course it's dying i can't sleep can't sleep? no won't sleep too lazy why am i on the computer?

    in the computer i am in a world of pure marination

    but i have learned many things mostly making me sad and scared stuff like deep dog thread

    just lots of stuff some url called me fat when i was 10 and now i'm scared of girls but i know you will say stop caring what they think? I need to care what other people think it's the only thing which stops me from ruling earth as a god
    etc. etc. stuff sleep it's 3am bedtime

    thinks too much

    thinking too much

    having a brain

    controlling my brain

    controlling other people's brains

    being more evil than i would like everyone to believe hahaha

    missing god i do miss god they went away 5 years ago
    Why do you think you're evil? What thoughts etc?
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    I think everyone is getting rather tired of you using TSR as a vehicle for your creepy masochist cuckold fetish/mental illness. You probably should have been permanently banned a long time ago.
 
 
 
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