i never stand up for myself, is this a good thing?

yes, people think i'm a weak pushover, but i never usually get beaten up and most times i don't get shouted at. so isn't it a good thing really? if i just comply with everything, no harm will come to me , right ?

No.

Sure...

what? so you just hope and pray nothing bad happens. everyone gets bullied or name called or threathened or abused or whatever at some point. you just gotta nip it in the bud the first time it happens by defending yourself or that person will see you as an easy target. trust me, i had to learn that the hard way :smile:

Reply 4

Andrew657Thomas

Well it's good and bad, say if you get mugged/jumped for your valuables it would be a good thing to just give them away instead of getting stabbed?

But still you need to know where the line is, people can't just tell you to do things for them, tell them to do it theirself..

Reply 5

damoni

Original post by suudsioee

i know too, in fact i'm going to start a thread about one of my experiences.

i pretty much do hope and pray that nothing bad happens and if they do start an argument or something, i just say sorry and agree with them.

Original post by Andrew657Thomas

well that would cause conflict though

Reply 6

IanDangerously

Of course never standing up for yourself is a bad thing. Well, I mean its perfectly fine if you're happy to be a nobody in life and let everyone treat you like their bitch, but who really wants that?

Reply 7

grassntai

Original post by IanDangerously

Of course never standing up for yourself is a bad thing. Well, I mean its perfectly fine if you're happy to be a nobody in life and let everyone treat you like their bitch, but who really wants that?

Haha great analogy at the end. Well put.

Reply 8

damoni

well, even if i wanted to stand upp for myself, i wouldn't really know how too. so best just comply with everyone and get on with it.

Reply 9

Smash Bandicoot

are you a woman? Don't worry too much, things will sort themselves out in due course, if not through you through a third party intervention

are you a man? You are going to have a very bad time

Reply 10

Lil08

If you try to avoid conflict, yes!

If your suppress your personality or who you are as a result then no!

Reply 11

Smash Bandicoot

Original post by Lil08

If you try to avoid conflict, yes!

If your suppress your personality or who you are as a result then no!

in life, it is inevitable that you will have at least one time where you will face conflict to express unmet needs

edit: you did say try so agreed

Reply 12

TorpidPhil

It depends on whether you need an ego. Personally I'm of the opinion that's it's hard to motivate yourself to do anything really impressive without having an ego and so some pride. With pride/ego comes the natural desire to be more defensive about such things.

Reply 13

Icebaker

Same here. I can't be bothered to fight for myself, I like to take the path of least resistance.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 14

amachine

if you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything.

Reply 15

pocahontas lol

Original post by damoni

So go along like a little wuss with everything and everyone, because you're scared of some hypothetical ass whooping otherwise?

Great life :rolleyes:

I am the complete opposite of that,

and I never got touched, and only shouted at when some rare person felt the need to defend themselves, if I notice.

If you always stand up for yourself

people will back down before you would even have to stand up for yourself to them.

Being a pushover? People will do **** things to you because they think they can. The highest insult ever! Oh my God I'm getting so pissed off, I can barely type anymore about it.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 16

jaffacake111

I'm really good at standing up for other people. I always have been. If I see an injustice I can't not do say something. If it is for me I used to think "what's the point?". I'm learning not to do that now. I'm never rude to people but I'm not a doormat either.

Not a fussy customer (because that IS embarassing) but in everyday situations I'll tell waiters/waitresses the food isn't what I expected. I'll go back to the bar if they get it wrong. I'm polite about it but it is their job. You have to be direct. You're paying for it. Don't let yourself get taken for a mug.

Friends and family ask me to do something and I'll help if I can. Anyone else better catch me on a good day or they can go and whistle :smile:

Reply 17

username1039383

Original post by damoni

you should ALWAYS stand up for yourself sweety. you're all you'll ever have and you teach others how to treat you. you deserve the utmost respect :smile:

Reply 18

CongressTart

Original post by damoni

I completely understand that for quieter personalities, standing up to others is difficult, and I'm quite a shy person myself. However, you don't need to be an extrovert to be assertive. It's something that will develop over time, but sometimes you have to take the initiative. It can be something as simple as calmly asking people to keep their noise down, or reminding people to tidy up after themselves every now and then. In my experience, as long as you're not overly rude or aggressive in your suggestions, people will be happy to listen to you.