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    I am starting a new party known as the Motorist Party of the United Kingdom. Rather than bore you to death with what its about, its kind of obvious given the name, I'm going to outline some of our policies.

    1) Remove all speed cameras as they are only there to raise money and replace these with more traffic cops to keep our roads safe from the real threats - drunk and drugged up drivers

    2) All French cars will be banned from importation into the United Kingdom and VAT will be scrapped for German cars - 20% government funded rebate if you purchase a saloon

    3) We will promote equality through featuring more women on road signs - it goes without saying that women can do a lot of these jobs now in the construction industry

    4) All motorway lanes will be overhauled - the left lane will be the standard driving lane, the middle lane will be the overtaking lane and the lane furthest to the right will be the no limit lane. Motorways are some of the safest roads to drive on.

    5) All trade will involve a race. Each race will be logged on a government database and your national worth as a person will depend on how many races you win. People with higher values will win scholarships to university to do auto-engineering and will gain apprenticeships with F1 teams. This will be known as the Pink Slip Scheme (PSS).

    6) We believe global warming is a great thing and therefore all cars under 2.0L will be banned with immediate effect. The recent weather has proven that global warming is much needed if we are to see improved summers in Britain. Bring it on is our motto! We need to speed up global warming and this can be achieved by buying larger vehicles such as the VW Touareg and causing more pollution.

    7) Insurance premiums will be lowered for all people and a maximum rate of £1000 will be set. This is to ensure more people drive as opposed to using poor public transport which we believe has no place in a civilised and equal society. Everyone should be able to enjoy the luxury of driving their own vehicle, as long as it isn't French.

    8) Petrol prices will be capped at 50p per litre. We need more people purchasing petrol and getting themselves on the road rather than struggling to make ends meet. This 50p per litre cap will ensure this can happen.

    9) Automatics will be banned with immediate effect. The people who drive automatics only are unskilled and are a threat to us all. Whilst some of the best model cars are automatics we must also appreciate that safety should come first and we cannot afford to have these glorified go-karts on the road.

    10) Formula 1 will become the national sport replacing football which we're not very good at. Every race Lewis Hamilton wins will be signified by a new bank holiday using the name of that particular grand prix. For example, the Monaco GP Bank Holiday. This will also restore patriotism and show we are proud of our national heroes.

    11) To ease up congestion on the roads school times will change to 8am start and 5pm finish. More time will be allocated for activities during school. Work times will be 9am to 4pm. This will give parents time to drop their children off to school before work and then pick them up after work. This will help ease congestion and also see the end of the single mother that doesn't work many hours.

    12) The ridiculous Bachelor of Arts (BA) will be replaced with a Bachelor of Auto-Engineering (BAE) qualification. This will be the most superior level qualification in the country and all aspiring politicians will be required to have one. You will get funding for this qualification even as a second degree as we believe it is incredibly important.

    13) Replace the outdated and prehistoric pound coin with a pink slip token. This can be used just like the pound coin but can also be used to challenge others to a race or to purchase cars if you have enough of them.

    14) Black and white cars will be banned in a campaign to cut out racism. Only brightly coloured cars from the LGBT flag spectrum will be allowed which will hopefully signify equality and promoting a fairer society.

    15) Marijuana will be legalised but you'll only be granted a marijuana smoking license if you own a Volkswagen Camper of the vintage variety. This will prove to the government that you are indeed hipster enough to smoke marijuana.

    16) Nitrous Oxide Systems will be legalised and all new cars created from 2020 will come with them fitted as standard. The use of NOS will only be allowed in certain situations such as being late for work or needing to get to the hospital.

    17) In terms of immigration we will only let in people who have enough capital to invest in a german motor upon entry. This will show their commitment to staying into the country and our beliefs as a nation.

    18) We will replace the NHS with a Mobile Health Service (MHS) meaning doctors will come to you when you are ill and in need of help. This makes more sense with more people driving and people in work. Doctors will get state funded vans to carry their equipment in.

    19) We will remove ourselves from everything to do with Europe and replace the ECHR with the British Bill of Motorists Rights (BBMR). This will ensure motorists get all the protection they need when faced with accusations from the dreaded cyclists.

    20) HS2 will be scrapped and a new overhead motorway with no speed limit will be put in place. This motorway will connect London, Birmingham and Manchester. This will be the British equivalent of the Autobahn.

    21) The BBC license fee will be scrapped and BBC TWO will become BBC Top Gear. This will be state funded and will be an educational/entertainment channel with an aim of educating the nation about auto-engineering.

    22) All parking will be made free wherever you go and private companies imposing fines using private traffic wardens will be declared an enemy of the state and potential terrorists unless they apologise sincerely for their evil actions.

    23) All supermarket trolleys will be replaced with supermarket go-karts with baskets on the back allowing you to quickly zoom around the store and get what you need. There will be no insurance claims allowed to be made from within the stores so its an entirely free for all environment. The aim is to make the experience as much like Mario Kart as possible to bring joy and fun to the shopping experience.

    We have more coming and I hope you enjoy our policies so far!

    Vote for MPUK: A fairer Britain that protects the motorists of this nation!

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    (Original post by Messiah Complex)
    I am starting a new party known as the Motorist Party of the United Kingdom.
    That is actually a lie isn't it?
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    (Original post by Quady)
    That is actually a lie isn't it?
    No I've submitted the paperwork as of 11:07am this morning.
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    I assume you will ask Jeremy Clarkson to be your leader?
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    (Original post by barnetlad)
    I assume you will ask Jeremy Clarkson to be your leader?
    He will oversee foreign policy with the Falklands and Brit-Argentinian relations being something we take extremely serious.
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    (Original post by Messiah Complex)
    I am starting a new party known as the Motorist Party of the United Kingdom. Rather than bore you to death with what its about, its kind of obvious given the name, I'm going to outline some of our policies.

    1) Remove all speed cameras as they are only there to raise money and replace these with more traffic cops to keep our roads safe from the real threats - drunk and drugged up drivers
    And how exactly are you going to pay for them?

    2) All French cars will be banned from importation into the United Kingdom and VAT will be scrapped for German cars - 20% government funded rebate if you purchase a saloon
    While I can't say I totally disagree, that's just Xenophobic

    3) We will promote equality through featuring more women on road signs - it goes without saying that women can do a lot of these jobs now in the construction industry
    What's the point? All you're doing is shouting "hey, look, radical feminists, here's something else for you to cry about"

    4) All motorway lanes will be overhauled - the left lane will be the standard driving lane, the middle lane will be the overtaking lane and the lane furthest to the right will be the no limit lane. Motorways are some of the safest roads to drive on.
    I.e. you will just remove the speed limit on the outside lane

    5) All trade will involve a race. Each race will be logged on a government database and your national worth as a person will depend on how many races you win. People with higher values will win scholarships to university to do auto-engineering and will gain apprenticeships with F1 teams. This will be known as the Pink Slip Scheme (PSS).
    As if you didn't sound like a troll already

    6) We believe global warming is a great thing and therefore all cars under 2.0L will be banned with immediate effect. The recent weather has proven that global warming is much needed if we are to see improved summers in Britain. Bring it on is our motto! We need to speed up global warming and this can be achieved by buying larger vehicles such as the VW Touareg and causing more pollution.
    see above

    7) Insurance premiums will be lowered for all people and a maximum rate of £1000 will be set. This is to ensure more people drive as opposed to using poor public transport which we believe has no place in a civilised and equal society. Everyone should be able to enjoy the luxury of driving their own vehicle, as long as it isn't French.
    See above, well done for killing the insurance industry for young drivers

    8) Petrol prices will be capped at 50p per litre. We need more people purchasing petrol and getting themselves on the road rather than struggling to make ends meet. This 50p per litre cap will ensure this can happen.
    So where are you going to make up for the lost tax revenues and the necessary subsidy?

    9) Automatics will be banned with immediate effect. The people who drive automatics only are unskilled and are a threat to us all. Whilst some of the best model cars are automatics we must also appreciate that safety should come first and we cannot afford to have these glorified go-karts on the road.
    See troll comment, do you even have any research to suggest what you say is so, because to me logic would dictate the contrary.

    [/quote]10) Formula 1 will become the national sport replacing football which we're not very good at. Every race Lewis Hamilton wins will be signified by a new bank holiday using the name of that particular grand prix. For example, the Monaco GP Bank Holiday. This will also restore patriotism and show we are proud of our national heroes.[/quote]
    See troll comment

    11) To ease up congestion on the roads school times will change to 8am start and 5pm finish. More time will be allocated for activities during school. Work times will be 9am to 4pm. This will give parents time to drop their children off to school before work and then pick them up after work. This will help ease congestion and also see the end of the single mother that doesn't work many hours.
    Ummmm, that doesn't actually help

    12) The ridiculous Bachelor of Arts (BA) will be replaced with a Bachelor of Auto-Engineering (BAE) qualification. This will be the most superior level qualification in the country and all aspiring politicians will be required to have one. You will get funding for this qualification even as a second degree as we believe it is incredibly important.
    :troll:

    13) Replace the outdated and prehistoric pound coin with a pink slip token. This can be used just like the pound coin but can also be used to challenge others to a race or to purchase cars if you have enough of them.
    :troll:

    14) Black and white cars will be banned in a campaign to cut out racism. Only brightly coloured cars from the LGBT flag spectrum will be allowed which will hopefully signify equality and promoting a fairer society.
    :troll:

    15) Marijuana will be legalised but you'll only be granted a marijuana smoking license if you own a Volkswagen Camper of the vintage variety. This will prove to the government that you are indeed hipster enough to smoke marijuana.
    :troll:

    16) Nitrous Oxide Systems will be legalised and all new cars created from 2020 will come with them fitted as standard. The use of NOS will only be allowed in certain situations such as being late for work or needing to get to the hospital.
    :troll:

    17) In terms of immigration we will only let in people who have enough capital to invest in a german motor upon entry. This will show their commitment to staying into the country and our beliefs as a nation.
    :troll:
    And surely you should be trying to grow the British Automotive industry, not the German one

    18) We will replace the NHS with a Mobile Health Service (MHS) meaning doctors will come to you when you are ill and in need of help. This makes more sense with more people driving and people in work. Doctors will get state funded vans to carry their equipment in.
    :troll:
    You mean how things are now, to some extent?

    19) We will remove ourselves from everything to do with Europe and replace the ECHR with the British Bill of Motorists Rights (BBMR). This will ensure motorists get all the protection they need when faced with accusations from the dreaded cyclists.
    :troll:
    >Remove ourselves from Europe
    >stimulate the European economy
    #logic

    20) HS2 will be scrapped and a new overhead motorway with no speed limit will be put in place. This motorway will connect London, Birmingham and Manchester. This will be the British equivalent of the Autobahn.

    21) The BBC license fee will be scrapped and BBC TWO will become BBC Top Gear. This will be state funded and will be an educational/entertainment channel with an aim of educating the nation about auto-engineering.
    :troll:

    22) All parking will be made free wherever you go and private companies imposing fines using private traffic wardens will be declared an enemy of the state and potential terrorists unless they apologise sincerely for their evil actions.
    :troll:
    Of course, the funny thing is that again, you're cutting your tax revenues

    23) All supermarket trolleys will be replaced with supermarket go-karts with baskets on the back allowing you to quickly zoom around the store and get what you need. There will be no insurance claims allowed to be made from within the stores so its an entirely free for all environment. The aim is to make the experience as much like Mario Kart as possible to bring joy and fun to the shopping experience.
    :troll:

    We have more coming and I hope you enjoy our policies so far!

    Vote for MPUK: A fairer Britain that protects the motorists of this nation!

    I think this belongs in "chat" or something
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    (Original post by Messiah Complex)
    I am starting a new party known as the Motorist Party of the United Kingdom. Rather than bore you to death with what its about, its kind of obvious given the name, I'm going to outline some of our policies.

    1) Remove all speed cameras as they are only there to raise money and replace these with more traffic cops to keep our roads safe from the real threats - drunk and drugged up drivers

    2) All French cars will be banned from importation into the United Kingdom and VAT will be scrapped for German cars - 20% government funded rebate if you purchase a saloon

    3) We will promote equality through featuring more women on road signs - it goes without saying that women can do a lot of these jobs now in the construction industry

    4) All motorway lanes will be overhauled - the left lane will be the standard driving lane, the middle lane will be the overtaking lane and the lane furthest to the right will be the no limit lane. Motorways are some of the safest roads to drive on.

    5) All trade will involve a race. Each race will be logged on a government database and your national worth as a person will depend on how many races you win. People with higher values will win scholarships to university to do auto-engineering and will gain apprenticeships with F1 teams. This will be known as the Pink Slip Scheme (PSS).

    6) We believe global warming is a great thing and therefore all cars under 2.0L will be banned with immediate effect. The recent weather has proven that global warming is much needed if we are to see improved summers in Britain. Bring it on is our motto! We need to speed up global warming and this can be achieved by buying larger vehicles such as the VW Touareg and causing more pollution.

    7) Insurance premiums will be lowered for all people and a maximum rate of £1000 will be set. This is to ensure more people drive as opposed to using poor public transport which we believe has no place in a civilised and equal society. Everyone should be able to enjoy the luxury of driving their own vehicle, as long as it isn't French.

    8) Petrol prices will be capped at 50p per litre. We need more people purchasing petrol and getting themselves on the road rather than struggling to make ends meet. This 50p per litre cap will ensure this can happen.

    9) Automatics will be banned with immediate effect. The people who drive automatics only are unskilled and are a threat to us all. Whilst some of the best model cars are automatics we must also appreciate that safety should come first and we cannot afford to have these glorified go-karts on the road.

    10) Formula 1 will become the national sport replacing football which we're not very good at. Every race Lewis Hamilton wins will be signified by a new bank holiday using the name of that particular grand prix. For example, the Monaco GP Bank Holiday. This will also restore patriotism and show we are proud of our national heroes.

    11) To ease up congestion on the roads school times will change to 8am start and 5pm finish. More time will be allocated for activities during school. Work times will be 9am to 4pm. This will give parents time to drop their children off to school before work and then pick them up after work. This will help ease congestion and also see the end of the single mother that doesn't work many hours.

    12) The ridiculous Bachelor of Arts (BA) will be replaced with a Bachelor of Auto-Engineering (BAE) qualification. This will be the most superior level qualification in the country and all aspiring politicians will be required to have one. You will get funding for this qualification even as a second degree as we believe it is incredibly important.

    13) Replace the outdated and prehistoric pound coin with a pink slip token. This can be used just like the pound coin but can also be used to challenge others to a race or to purchase cars if you have enough of them.

    14) Black and white cars will be banned in a campaign to cut out racism. Only brightly coloured cars from the LGBT flag spectrum will be allowed which will hopefully signify equality and promoting a fairer society.

    15) Marijuana will be legalised but you'll only be granted a marijuana smoking license if you own a Volkswagen Camper of the vintage variety. This will prove to the government that you are indeed hipster enough to smoke marijuana.

    16) Nitrous Oxide Systems will be legalised and all new cars created from 2020 will come with them fitted as standard. The use of NOS will only be allowed in certain situations such as being late for work or needing to get to the hospital.

    17) In terms of immigration we will only let in people who have enough capital to invest in a german motor upon entry. This will show their commitment to staying into the country and our beliefs as a nation.

    18) We will replace the NHS with a Mobile Health Service (MHS) meaning doctors will come to you when you are ill and in need of help. This makes more sense with more people driving and people in work. Doctors will get state funded vans to carry their equipment in.

    19) We will remove ourselves from everything to do with Europe and replace the ECHR with the British Bill of Motorists Rights (BBMR). This will ensure motorists get all the protection they need when faced with accusations from the dreaded cyclists.

    20) HS2 will be scrapped and a new overhead motorway with no speed limit will be put in place. This motorway will connect London, Birmingham and Manchester. This will be the British equivalent of the Autobahn.

    21) The BBC license fee will be scrapped and BBC TWO will become BBC Top Gear. This will be state funded and will be an educational/entertainment channel with an aim of educating the nation about auto-engineering.

    22) All parking will be made free wherever you go and private companies imposing fines using private traffic wardens will be declared an enemy of the state and potential terrorists unless they apologise sincerely for their evil actions.

    23) All supermarket trolleys will be replaced with supermarket go-karts with baskets on the back allowing you to quickly zoom around the store and get what you need. There will be no insurance claims allowed to be made from within the stores so its an entirely free for all environment. The aim is to make the experience as much like Mario Kart as possible to bring joy and fun to the shopping experience.

    We have more coming and I hope you enjoy our policies so far!

    Vote for MPUK: A fairer Britain that protects the motorists of this nation!

    It's a better story than I get from the other political parties so yes you'd probably get my vote as a protest vote.

    The main parties talk and they sound like they are talking but they talk without saying anything of any meaning or significance.


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    (Original post by Messiah Complex)
    He will oversee foreign policy with the Falklands and Brit-Argentinian relations being something we take extremely serious.
    Oh my god I love you!
 
 
 
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