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Stepfathers
Anyone got one? My mum is getting married soon to her boyfriend who I really don't like. I can't imagine that this guy is going to be my stepfather. I don't really want anything to do with him, but he'll be coming to all the family do's, graduation, etc. I just find it hard to accept him becoming some kind of authority figure for me.
I know it seems impossible but to be honest he is probably equally concerned. I dont know how old you are but you are not exactly going to be a little kid so he is unlikely to try and take over as a real authority figure. If you are really concerned try talking to your mum about how you feel, or maybe any brothers/sisters you might have.
Sorry I cant help....good luck
Sorry I cant help....good luck
Reply 2
Can you be specific about the reasons you dislike him? Is it something in particular that he has done or said? Or is it that he is replacing your real dad? (Assuming that he still in your life).
If you're starting, or are already at uni then I'm guessing that you probably be living away from home so won't have to see him that often anyway.
It can be really difficult to see your mum remarry; it's part of getting to grips with the fact that she doesn't just exist as your parent, she's an individual with her own life. (I'm speaking from experience of my mum remarrying).
Have you talked to your mum about this? Maybe that's the best way forward. If you're open with her and tell her how you feel, this situation may be resolved.
Hope that helps.
If you're starting, or are already at uni then I'm guessing that you probably be living away from home so won't have to see him that often anyway.
It can be really difficult to see your mum remarry; it's part of getting to grips with the fact that she doesn't just exist as your parent, she's an individual with her own life. (I'm speaking from experience of my mum remarrying).
Have you talked to your mum about this? Maybe that's the best way forward. If you're open with her and tell her how you feel, this situation may be resolved.
Hope that helps.
I really dont mean to be so negative here but my mum got married when i was around 8 or 9 and i'd never known my father but i really disliked the guy she married and even now 10 years later we're still barely on speaking terms. He struggles to be civil to me so i find it easier to just avoid him all together.
If you dont want him as an authority figure in your life thats fine (im guessing your probably late teens so you can make your own mind up etc) but you have to make the effort to at least respect his opinion and be reasonable to him. For example if you want to do something and he says no just reply "im sorry but its not really up to you although i know your only trying to look out for me"
My mum knows how i feel about her husband and it hasnt really made things any easier, perhaps all 3 of you could sit down and discuss things like discipline and rules so at least you'll know where you stand
If you dont want him as an authority figure in your life thats fine (im guessing your probably late teens so you can make your own mind up etc) but you have to make the effort to at least respect his opinion and be reasonable to him. For example if you want to do something and he says no just reply "im sorry but its not really up to you although i know your only trying to look out for me"
My mum knows how i feel about her husband and it hasnt really made things any easier, perhaps all 3 of you could sit down and discuss things like discipline and rules so at least you'll know where you stand
i have a stepmother who my dad married when i was eight. i resented her for years and to be honest i still do a bit, she made me call her 'mum' and said things like 'i'm your mum now' (my mum died so i just found her saying things like that totally rude) and the worst thing i did was to not say anything. make sure you don't agree to things you aren't happy with, keep the boundaries etc. and keep your memories with your mum, my stepmother throws a strop if my dad or i ever mention anything that happened before we knew her, god forbid i should ever mention my mum in the house. i recently told my stepmother i didn't want to call her mum anymore (took nine years to pluck up the courage) and am just so relieved. if you are close to your mum, talk to her so she knows how you feel, then she will be aware of that when saying/doing/arranging things. good luck.
Reply 7
Anonymous
I just find it hard to accept him becoming some kind of authority figure for me.
Who says he has to have authority over you?
Reply 8
I'm technically a stepmother now. I say technically because the kid is in another country and I've never met him. Nor do I want to. I shudder at the thought.
Have you ever considered that your step dad could resent you too?
Have you ever considered that your step dad could resent you too?
I did... I never really knew my real dad propperly, he didnt want me..
Mum married this guy when I was like 5 or 6 I cant remember, I hated the guy! I hated everything about him and him telling me what to do! anyway I was still living with my grandparents when they got married so I only lived with the guy from the age of 8 to nearly 10 when they finally split up!
then mum met someone else and he was my stepdad for the last 10 and a half years, sure I tried to reject him at first but he became more like a real dad to me than the other 2 put together! he died recently and it's like losing two dads in a way (the bio one who rejected me and my stepdad)
anyway OP, I'm presuming you're old enough to try and get to know the guy? he might be a decent guy if you do get to know him..
Mum married this guy when I was like 5 or 6 I cant remember, I hated the guy! I hated everything about him and him telling me what to do! anyway I was still living with my grandparents when they got married so I only lived with the guy from the age of 8 to nearly 10 when they finally split up!
then mum met someone else and he was my stepdad for the last 10 and a half years, sure I tried to reject him at first but he became more like a real dad to me than the other 2 put together! he died recently and it's like losing two dads in a way (the bio one who rejected me and my stepdad)
anyway OP, I'm presuming you're old enough to try and get to know the guy? he might be a decent guy if you do get to know him..
Reply 10
aleathiel
he died recently and it's like losing two dads in a way (the bio one who rejected me and my stepdad)
I'm so sorry to hear that.
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