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    Hey everyone, I'm a male at a University in the UK, and I have been chatting on WhatsApp to this girl from Hong Kong who studies at my University. I've been chatting to her for a while now, but I've not met her yet, its kinda of strange as I know she wants to date and she knows I want to date, but its a little weird like I told her I was out for a friends birthday and she got really defensive about it saying I was hanging around girls, it was the same reaction when I told her I live with 4 girls in my student house, I thought it was a strange reaction since we've not even met. Anyway I've agreed to go have dinner with her at one of the campus bars tomorrow, I was just wondering if anyone could give me any advice about dating Chinese students, and whether that behaviour when I told her I live with 4 girls is common?

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    I don't believe it's anything to do with her being Chinese? Haha. It's possible that it's just her personality, or maybe she came across defensive. Perhaps she's already too in love with you?

    I'm Chinese by decent (grew up in the UK), but this is just down to her personality in my opinion - there are no specific ways they act/do differently, and we don't really have a "Chinese girls are typically ..." kind of thing when it comes to relationships from my experience. They might see it as quiet special, that they're dating a foreigner.
    Any how, good luck and I hope the dinner date goes well~!
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    Chinese students usually come a more strict background and therefore are more willing to experiment once they leave that environment. She might not have much experience when dating and is therefore perhaps a bit jealous and insecure?
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    OK many generalities and no doubt will anger some reading this. These are my observations which may help or may not.

    You have to understand the culture difference first before you understand the attitude. Although I have been married to a chinese girl for nearly eight years and lived with her for nearly 10 years, I still try to understand the mindset.

    My step-daughter is 21 and about to hit the UK university scene. She is slightly westernised but still very much chinese in attitude to dating which in my opinion is like UK in 1920's. Anyone brought up in the West is going to have those western ideas when dating but anyone brought up in china and subject to their education system is really at a dating disadvantage in the UK I feel.

    In spite of my circumstances, if I were you, I would go very carefully when dating Chinese girls because of the culture gap. Just because HK was once a British place may make a difference, but that was 1997 which was years ago now when your gf was still young. She may be westernised as well which will help some, but if she is not, then you will have to be very patient and understanding and not many people want to bother to do that perhaps. Sounds as if she is clingy and possessive which in any culture is a problem which is best left to someone else in my opinion.

    If you do decide to go with it, it may be worth remembering that someone desperately looking for 'The One', who will fulfill all their hopes and dreams is a huge responsibility for anyone else to shoulder and that on its own is something which will blow the relationship apart after a while if allowed to continue.Also, The Little Princess / Little Prince character may not be popular but it kind-of describes some of the attributes of single children in any culture perfectly.

    On the other hand, I knew a westernised US Chinese girl who was fine about the whole thing and had a very broad outlook on life. Just take it slowly and guage whether this relationship of yours is a ticking bomb or not.

    Having said all that, I am very happy but it takes a lot of patient communication, understanding, dedication, and hard work to get it just right between such diverse cultures.

    Good luck.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by xxshystarxx)
    I don't believe it's anything to do with her being Chinese? Haha. It's possible that it's just her personality, or maybe she came across defensive. Perhaps she's already too in love with you?

    I'm Chinese by decent (grew up in the UK), but this is just down to her personality in my opinion - there are no specific ways they act/do differently, and we don't really have a "Chinese girls are typically ..." kind of thing when it comes to relationships from my experience. They might see it as quiet special, that they're dating a foreigner.
    Any how, good luck and I hope the dinner date goes well~!
    Don't be ridiculous, of course Chinese cultures are different to ours. It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask.
 
 
 
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