This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
Cocktease?
Right, before everyone has a huge go at me telling me what an awful person I am, please just rad this and give me some advice.
I'm 18, and a virgin, and it's really beginning to bug me. I'm longing to just get the awkward 'first time' over and done with, and I've had quite a few opportunities over the summer, including one just last night (hence why I've surrendered my pride and written this). The problem is that I have got into the habit of freaking out at the last moment and deciding that I don't want to go through with it. I can't even say why it happens - I'm not worried about the pain, and I use contraceptives every time so it's not a fear of ending up pregnant. The only thing I can actually put it down to that I'm worried the guy will realise I haven't done the deed before and think that I'm really weird for waiting this long, or that I'll be crap in bed (I'm haunted by the memory of one of my friends complaining bitterly that he hated sleeping with virgins because it was really unsatisfying
). Obviously, its a wonderful vicious circle, made worse by the fact that I'm getting a serious reputation for being a cocktease - most guys seem to think that I get them all worked up then refuse to sleep with them just for the fun of it, and it's honestly not like that!
I guess what I'm really asking is has anyone else had this problem? Also, how easily can a guy realise it's your first time if you haven't told him? Obviously, I know there's the blood factor (sorry if this is getting graphic
) - but is it just a few drops, or a whole lot?
Somebody help me!
I'm 18, and a virgin, and it's really beginning to bug me. I'm longing to just get the awkward 'first time' over and done with, and I've had quite a few opportunities over the summer, including one just last night (hence why I've surrendered my pride and written this). The problem is that I have got into the habit of freaking out at the last moment and deciding that I don't want to go through with it. I can't even say why it happens - I'm not worried about the pain, and I use contraceptives every time so it's not a fear of ending up pregnant. The only thing I can actually put it down to that I'm worried the guy will realise I haven't done the deed before and think that I'm really weird for waiting this long, or that I'll be crap in bed (I'm haunted by the memory of one of my friends complaining bitterly that he hated sleeping with virgins because it was really unsatisfying
). Obviously, its a wonderful vicious circle, made worse by the fact that I'm getting a serious reputation for being a cocktease - most guys seem to think that I get them all worked up then refuse to sleep with them just for the fun of it, and it's honestly not like that! I guess what I'm really asking is has anyone else had this problem? Also, how easily can a guy realise it's your first time if you haven't told him? Obviously, I know there's the blood factor (sorry if this is getting graphic
) - but is it just a few drops, or a whole lot?Somebody help me!
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
17
The answer is not to lose your virginity on a one night stand.
Reply 2
Dont worry about being a virgin at 18 there are loads of virgins older than that and surely its better to be a virgin at 18 than pregnant at 13 or something like that. As for your situation why not wait until you're in a proper relationship with a nice guy, you'll be a lot more relaxed and comfortable about it.
Reply 3
I'll say it before anyone else does...
prossies.
prossies.
Reply 4
Because I'd rather get it over and done with with someone I'm not going to see again so that I don't get awkward memories re-surfacing.
Reply 5
Princess_Peach
I'll say it before anyone else does...
prossies.
prossies.
oh you're female
Okay then, giggalo
Reply 6
18
x.narb.x
The answer is not to lose your virginity on a one night stand.
Reply 7
17
Awkward memories? Losing your virginity should be a time to look back on with fondness, not regret/dread.
Reply 8
Well there is always the not so sensible option of getting yourself so drunk you dont remember it 
but I wouldnt do that if I were you
Seriously try not to think of it as something you need to "get it over with" as you wont really enjoy it then.
but I wouldnt do that if I were you Seriously try not to think of it as something you need to "get it over with" as you wont really enjoy it then.
Reply 9
17
Seriously, anyone worth bothering with won't care whether you a virgin or not. They will want to know about you as you are now. Save it for someone you really really care about. You want to be able to look back and be glad that it worked out the way it did. 
Reply 10
16
Princess_Peach
oh you're female
Okay then, giggalo
Okay then, giggalo
Aah but the expense...
At 18 I don't think this girl can probably afford a gigalo!Reply 11
Ariadne
Aah but the expense... At 18 I don't think this girl can probably afford a gigalo!
At 18 I don't think this girl can probably afford a gigalo!But think of the high-quality experience!
Reply 12
Just do it if you want. If you dont, dont and right now it seems like you dont. So the answer is obvious.
Reply 13
How is the first time really any different from all the other times? Seeing your virginity as a barrier is absurd. The importance attached to virginity is religious in origin and should be of no consequence whatsoever.
Reply 14
16
Nothing a good vibrator couldn't do....
Reply 15
why do you want to lose your virginity? it sounds like you arent ready at all.
Reply 16
Ariadne
Nothing a good vibrator couldn't do....
:dito:
Reply 17
poltroon
How is the first time really any different from all the other times? Seeing your virginity as a barrier is absurd. The importance attached to virginity is religious in origin and should be of no consequence whatsoever.
Forcing your opinion on others? Everyone has their own set of beliefs.. please respect them.
Reply 18
18
x.narb.x
Awkward memories? Losing your virginity should be a time to look back on with fondness, not regret/dread.
againReply 19
Why
Forcing your opinion on others? Everyone has their own set of beliefs.. please respect them.
Why should I 'respect' them? If I disagree with what you say because I think it's nonsense then I shall do so without hesitation. What do you mean by 'forcing'? Am I not permitted to express my opinion?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
What food item are you currently craving?Last reply 3 months ago
Domino's pizza personal size vs small sizeLast reply 5 months ago
Am I the only one who hates holidays especially the summer holidays?Last reply 6 months ago
Anyone else been out of work for 9 years in a row?Last reply 6 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 6 months ago
How do I tell my instructor I don't want lessons with her anymore?Last reply 6 months ago
Where can I find good-quality alternatives to luxury fashion clothing?How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
