The "so I moved to uni but I have no friends '' thread.
So yea, I left my dear-old, beautiful, diverse and magnificent London in September to come to Scotland (Edinburgh) and I have no friends. I have literally nobody to go out with or to to at least talk to. When I go to lectures everyone's around them mates talking and laughing and I pass by them. I spend Fridays watching films or reading newspapers like my dead granpa. I hate life, I hate living, I hate this laptop that takes all my time, I hate watching porn all the ****ing time. Anyone else in the same situation?
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Original post by hench man
Stop watching porn and it will make a **** load of difference trust me, tried and tested.
How? Everyone watches porn when they're bored. Except for muslims .... oh wait.. I am a Muslim.
Any other suggestions?
Original post by arminb
How? Everyone watches porn when they're bored. Except for muslims .... oh wait.. I am a Muslim.
Any other suggestions?
Any other suggestions?
Join clubs try different sports and you will make friends guaranteed
Instead of weeping in self pity, do something about it , e.g. join societies and actually talk to your course mates and liven up, theres more to life than a computer and jerking yourself off to make yourself feel better, no one on TSR can help you, you have to help yourself to get anywhere
Yes I'm in exactly the same situation. Not a single friend, no one at all to talk to. I spend my free time always by myself wishing I had someone to talk to, wishing I wasn't always alone. It's been a miserable experience at university. Wish I had some company.
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Original post by Anonymous
Instead of weeping in self pity, do something about it , e.g. join societies and actually talk to your course mates and liven up, theres more to life than a computer and jerking yourself off to make yourself feel better, no one on TSR can help you, you have to help yourself to get anywhere
Thank you! I just think I lack social skills. When I meet people they hang out with me for a few days but then they diss me and dont invite me to their events and stuff. I think people think i am stupid. Sometimes I say things which they find stupid and I can't help it. For example, in one of my tutorials I claimed that Angela Merkel was a racist and referred to one of her speeches about multiculturalism and made a point about racism from the left but then everyone made fun of me. There are other instances too when I say stupid and sometimes I don't say anything when I am around people because I dont want to say something stupid. In this case, people find me boring and shy and will again not talk to me.
Original post by Hanya Pouncey
Did you have a lot of friends in London?
Not a lot but like 5-6 people. I used to go out with them every weekend and talk to them at school so I didnt feel lonely. But I wasn't popular at school at all.
Original post by arminb
Not a lot but like 5-6 people. I used to go out with them every weekend and talk to them at school so I didnt feel lonely. But I wasn't popular at school at all.
This is another thing being "popular" why do you think such people are popular? Its because people actually find them fun to be around.
In school i wasn't so popular in the first few years, however i decided to be a clown later on and made people laugh. Afterwards it wasn't so hard for me to hang around with anyone, i could hang around with anyone. Those who would bring the mood down of the group or just were just a 'downer' would usually get excluded from the group, naturally.
My point is that start being funny, start taking an interest in the things they like, don't force it, If they laugh at something you did...laugh with them.
For about a few years i would get teased about my size, being fat, but i laughed it out with them, so it made them stop and kind of accept it as the norm. As anonymous said, join a few societies. You said you're a Muslim, well join the Islamic society and you don't have to join in the debates or the politics of it but just make friends.
Its really difficult to make friends in life in general. But it is possible. Join societies, they are a good opportunity to meet new people. Sports societies and other societies. Most of my friends I have met through societies.
Original post by arminb
Not a lot but like 5-6 people. I used to go out with them every weekend and talk to them at school so I didnt feel lonely. But I wasn't popular at school at all.
Yeah that's like me now, and I'm scared of being lonely at uni. Even though I'm not a uni student yet, I would suggest just trying to put yourself out there as much as you can so people approach you
instead of being cooped away in your room. Also, as others have suggested join societies, they're a great way of meeting people. Edinburgh's a beautiful city, get out there and don't let this get you down I'd rather not have friends. They can be a big distraction and I don't want to risk my degree.
Original post by Anonymous
Instead of weeping in self pity, do something about it , e.g. join societies and actually talk to your course mates and liven up, theres more to life than a computer and jerking yourself off to make yourself feel better, no one on TSR can help you, you have to help yourself to get anywhere
Some people have social anxiety or other problems and they actually find it impossible or even literally painful to talk to others
Original post by arminb
How? Everyone watches porn when they're bored. Except for muslims .... oh wait.. I am a Muslim.
Any other suggestions?
Any other suggestions?
Ah **** it can be difficult. A lot of my Muslim friends struggled similar to you at uni? Have you tried clubs and societies? Also I don't know how strict you are about being around alcohol but the ones that were most successful at making friends either joined the Islamic society or went on nights out (but didn't drink), so those are two options you could try.
Original post by redferry
Ah **** it can be difficult. A lot of my Muslim friends struggled similar to you at uni? Have you tried clubs and societies? Also I don't know how strict you are about being around alcohol but the ones that were most successful at making friends either joined the Islamic society or went on nights out (but didn't drink), so those are two options you could try.
Ok let me clarify somepin'. I drink and watch porn and do drugs and play poker. and fornicate and welcome idea of a threesome ...
I was born a Muslims and that's it. I say Muslim because people like to identify me as such.
But I don't really practise. Except for that I don't eat pork because that's easy to do
. But you are right I might as well eat pork . I have no interest in the Islamic society. I can't go clubbing because when I do I just sit in a corner and not dance and be shy so I basically I look like a sadder. I have fear of dancing. I can't dance.Original post by Anonymous
Some people have social anxiety or other problems and they actually find it impossible or even literally painful to talk to others
that was very helpful. Thanks for letting me know that my life is going to be like this for the rest of my life.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Raymat
I'd rather not have friends. They can be a big distraction and I don't want to risk my degree.
But loneliness causes depression and mental issues which will in turn affect your academic life and capabilities.
Original post by Illegal Algebra
Yes I'm in exactly the same situation. Not a single friend, no one at all to talk to. I spend my free time always by myself wishing I had someone to talk to, wishing I wasn't always alone. It's been a miserable experience at university. Wish I had some company.
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I feel you. Apparently this is not a rare issue. A lot of people fail to have a social life after going to uni. One of the guys in my dorm committed suicide last term. I didn't personally know him but obviously he was very f.depressed.
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