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Mental Health Support Society XVI

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Feeling really crappy and agitated and distressd
Gosh, I feel so isolated and trapped in my own emotion, and I don't know how to deal with it.

Roughly every two or three days I experience symptoms of depression or anxiety, and sometimes find myself spending a lot of time crying.
Amongst other things, I feel sad because I just can't trust people, and I fear losing people. I've recently started speaking to somebody on here, and they seem lovely, but I can't bring myself to fully open up to them. I dont have a social circle, and I dont have any close confiding relationships, other than with my family, but I feel like I need the love that can be provided by a friend, or even a romantic partner. I dont know..I guess I just wanted somewhere to vent.
Well I feel stupid :frown:

I was already feeling extremely low yesterday after this guy off a forum on the internet genuinley seemed to care, so much that he sent a letter to my GP explaining my problems. Then I find out he is playing with my ment health and has been sending me emails pretending to be the manager of my GP practice, saying things such as that the weekly appointments are there as long as I neex them (even til end of CBT if need be), that they will provide me with fit notes until my social anxiety is better and fully support if I have to appeal my ESA claim and other stuff. Really getting my hopes up and then I find out none of it is true), there is other stuff he said too. Made me feel like my whole GP surgery genuinley cared. So last night I did feel back to being alone again and have just generally felt weird today

Anyway, this guy said he wanted to put things right today. So he said had phoned a receptionist at my surgery to explain everything and how he knows.he has really hurt me and played with my mental health, and to make GP aware I may be very fragile now. He said the reason he made up the fake emails was because he wanted to make me happy, and that he had got an email off the practice manager saying that she couldn't speak to him due to patient confidentiality. So as that could be the case, I being my silly self fell for it. But I caught him out because I asked him to forward the email which he did, and the signature was different to what I know the manager puts. So he eventually admitted to being a wimp. And then says he has never actually emailed the manager at all, it was all a lie.

So he has put me through emotional hell :frown: and he supposedly suffers from depression too and has promised to put it right for good tomorrow

Apparently he is writing a letter to my GP and an email ro the manager which he is going to CC me in to.

If he doesn't do that tomorrow, I don't know if I should go into the surgery on Tuesday and take a copy of all the emails from this bloke pretending to be the practice manager, to show them what he said in them and the emotional rollercoaster he has put me through in lying like that. What do people think ?

My one worry is that because this guy wrote a letter to my GP about my issues which concerned GP enough to make a phonecall to me to make sure he was doing everything he can for me, GP may not now believe how my depression and anxiety is due to how this guy has played me like a fiddle. Even though everything in the letter he sent was actually true
Original post by Scott_Maslen_Fan
Well I feel stupid :frown:

I was already feeling extremely low yesterday after this guy off a forum on the internet genuinley seemed to care, so much that he sent a letter to my GP explaining my problems. Then I find out he is playing with my ment health and has been sending me emails pretending to be the manager of my GP practice, saying things such as that the weekly appointments are there as long as I neex them (even til end of CBT if need be), that they will provide me with fit notes until my social anxiety is better and fully support if I have to appeal my ESA claim and other stuff. Really getting my hopes up and then I find out none of it is true), there is other stuff he said too. Made me feel like my whole GP surgery genuinley cared. So last night I did feel back to being alone again and have just generally felt weird today

Anyway, this guy said he wanted to put things right today. So he said had phoned a receptionist at my surgery to explain everything and how he knows.he has really hurt me and played with my mental health, and to make GP aware I may be very fragile now. He said the reason he made up the fake emails was because he wanted to make me happy, and that he had got an email off the practice manager saying that she couldn't speak to him due to patient confidentiality. So as that could be the case, I being my silly self fell for it. But I caught him out because I asked him to forward the email which he did, and the signature was different to what I know the manager puts. So he eventually admitted to being a wimp. And then says he has never actually emailed the manager at all, it was all a lie.

So he has put me through emotional hell :frown: and he supposedly suffers from depression too and has promised to put it right for good tomorrow

Apparently he is writing a letter to my GP and an email ro the manager which he is going to CC me in to.

If he doesn't do that tomorrow, I don't know if I should go into the surgery on Tuesday and take a copy of all the emails from this bloke pretending to be the practice manager, to show them what he said in them and the emotional rollercoaster he has put me through in lying like that. What do people think ?

My one worry is that because this guy wrote a letter to my GP about my issues which concerned GP enough to make a phonecall to me to make sure he was doing everything he can for me, GP may not now believe how my depression and anxiety is due to how this guy has played me like a fiddle. Even though everything in the letter he sent was actually true

I think you should go and talk about it, tbh I wouldn't be surprised if what they're doing is in some way illegal, and even if it isn't it MUST be relevant to the support you're being given and even if, somehow, it isn't there is no harm in saying so, better safe than sorry and all that. Peronsally, for the most part, I wouldn't trust people I don't know on the internet given how much of a bastard people can be. Remembewr, if they're by any means a good GP YOUR health, mental or physical, should be their TOP priority. :hugs:

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Irrelevant to the above. I feel so alone, like nobody carea bout me, that far more people would be glad than sad if I were to die or disappear (no suicidal thoughts), but I don't really seem capable of feeling anything. My mother seems to sometimes think my history of self harm (which she only recently discovered, and for the mods has ended and I have no interest in publicly talking about) is a joke given that what she seems to say is a joke. Yesterday, despite being almost a quartyer of a year on, I felt like I had just lost my ex again, with everything that came with it, and I seem incapable of feeling anything.

Spoiler

Original post by Scott_Maslen_Fan
Well I feel stupid :frown:

I was already feeling extremely low yesterday after this guy off a forum on the internet genuinley seemed to care, so much that he sent a letter to my GP explaining my problems. Then I find out he is playing with my ment health and has been sending me emails pretending to be the manager of my GP practice, saying things such as that the weekly appointments are there as long as I neex them (even til end of CBT if need be), that they will provide me with fit notes until my social anxiety is better and fully support if I have to appeal my ESA claim and other stuff. Really getting my hopes up and then I find out none of it is true), there is other stuff he said too. Made me feel like my whole GP surgery genuinley cared. So last night I did feel back to being alone again and have just generally felt weird today

Anyway, this guy said he wanted to put things right today. So he said had phoned a receptionist at my surgery to explain everything and how he knows.he has really hurt me and played with my mental health, and to make GP aware I may be very fragile now. He said the reason he made up the fake emails was because he wanted to make me happy, and that he had got an email off the practice manager saying that she couldn't speak to him due to patient confidentiality. So as that could be the case, I being my silly self fell for it. But I caught him out because I asked him to forward the email which he did, and the signature was different to what I know the manager puts. So he eventually admitted to being a wimp. And then says he has never actually emailed the manager at all, it was all a lie.

So he has put me through emotional hell :frown: and he supposedly suffers from depression too and has promised to put it right for good tomorrow

Apparently he is writing a letter to my GP and an email ro the manager which he is going to CC me in to.

If he doesn't do that tomorrow, I don't know if I should go into the surgery on Tuesday and take a copy of all the emails from this bloke pretending to be the practice manager, to show them what he said in them and the emotional rollercoaster he has put me through in lying like that. What do people think ?

My one worry is that because this guy wrote a letter to my GP about my issues which concerned GP enough to make a phonecall to me to make sure he was doing everything he can for me, GP may not now believe how my depression and anxiety is due to how this guy has played me like a fiddle. Even though everything in the letter he sent was actually true


my brain isn't really working today, but if ive understood your post I think the first thing to do is stop talking to whoever this forum guy is, and stop giving out such personal information as your doctors surgery to strangers on the Internet.

print the emails and take them to your surgery and show them that there is someone impersonating a member of their staff. I'm no expert on law but I would think it's illegal to impersonate a doctor, and the practice obviously won't want people to be claiming to work for them.

but yeah, in future you should be more careful and try not to open yourself up to things like this :hugs:


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Original post by Anonymous
I think you should go and talk about it, tbh I wouldn't be surprised if what they're doing is in some way illegal, and even if it isn't it MUST be relevant to the support you're being given and even if, somehow, it isn't there is no harm in saying so, better safe than sorry and all that. Peronsally, for the most part, I wouldn't trust people I don't know on the internet given how much of a bastard people can be. Remembewr, if they're by any means a good GP YOUR health, mental or physical, should be their TOP priority. :hugs:

---------------------------------------
Irrelevant to the above. I feel so alone, like nobody carea bout me, that far more people would be glad than sad if I were to die or disappear (no suicidal thoughts), but I don't really seem capable of feeling anything. My mother seems to sometimes think my history of self harm (which she only recently discovered, and for the mods has ended and I have no interest in publicly talking about) is a joke given that what she seems to say is a joke. Yesterday, despite being almost a quartyer of a year on, I felt like I had just lost my ex again, with everything that came with it, and I seem incapable of feeling anything.

Spoiler


Thank you :smile:

I think I am just afraid of my GP or the manager thinking that I am daft for having spoke to this guy and genuinley believed he wanted to help me

But then hopefully the fact that I have depression and especially social anxiety, they will hopefully be understanding of the fact that I don't have a massive support network so thats why I end up on the net. If ever these fake emails and the way they have affected me mentally were a way to show my GP that it is better to keep up the weekly appts and support from himself now and until I am comfortable with CBT, this is it.

Hopefully it will just mean they read these fake emails and say that actually although not sent by them its not far grom the truth
Original post by Odd socks
my brain isn't really working today, but if ive understood your post I think the first thing to do is stop talking to whoever this forum guy is, and stop giving out such personal information as your doctors surgery to strangers on the Internet.

print the emails and take them to your surgery and show them that there is someone impersonating a member of their staff. I'm no expert on law but I would think it's illegal to impersonate a doctor, and the practice obviously won't want people to be claiming to work for them.

but yeah, in future you should be more careful and try not to open yourself up to things like this :hugs:


Posted from TSR Mobile

Thank you it was the practice manager they were impersonating, still wrong though.

Do you think in actually telling my GP this that it will just. mean he supports me by keeping up the weekly appts so I don't have to turn to people on the net, I think its with the hard time I am going through and the social anxiety I don't have many people in real life who can listen to me and support me through CBT

I am imagining all kinds of things such as being scribbled off practice list. Or because GP has a letter off someone who I don't know in person, being told I have to see a different GP in practice or something
Original post by Scott_Maslen_Fan
Thank you :smile:

I think I am just afraid of my GP or the manager thinking that I am daft for having spoke to this guy and genuinley believed he wanted to help me

But then hopefully the fact that I have depression and especially social anxiety, they will hopefully be understanding of the fact that I don't have a massive support network so thats why I end up on the net. If ever these fake emails and the way they have affected me mentally were a way to show my GP that it is better to keep up the weekly appts and support from himself now and until I am comfortable with CBT, this is it.

Hopefully it will just mean they read these fake emails and say that actually although not sent by them its not far grom the truth

As said, the Gp AND the manager should be able to see your condition and see that, not to say that it is so, you were desperate for help and this person appeared to offer it, and they should have your best interests at heart, after all, that's supposed to be their job. And I shall echo as has been said above, just stop talking to this individual if you think it's doing no good for you, as somebody I know said to me, In these situations it's okay to be selfish.
Original post by Scott_Maslen_Fan
Thank you it was the practice manager they were impersonating, still wrong though.

Do you think in actually telling my GP this that it will just. mean he supports me by keeping up the weekly appts so I don't have to turn to people on the net, I think its with the hard time I am going through and the social anxiety I don't have many people in real life who can listen to me and support me through CBT

I am imagining all kinds of things such as being scribbled off practice list. Or because GP has a letter off someone who I don't know in person, being told I have to see a different GP in practice or something


i don't know why you're so hung up on asking for weekly appointments? you're allowed to do that - just because you're going to get CBT doesn't mean you're unable to get support from you GP if you so wish.

sorry if this is harsh or whatever, you just keep going on about it. there is NO problem with asking for support from your GP. NONE at all.
completely dissociated which is nice i guess, beetter than the useless dissociation i've been having the last few days. at least right now i can't feel anything. feeling numb is better than that. so yay.
Original post by Pathway
i don't know why you're so hung up on asking for weekly appointments? you're allowed to do that - just because you're going to get CBT doesn't mean you're unable to get support from you GP if you so wish.

sorry if this is harsh or whatever, you just keep going on about it. there is NO problem with asking for support from your GP. NONE at all.

Thank you I think really its a symptom of my social anxiety, I feel that in taking up a slot each week I am being annoying, and feel a bit guilty

He is seeing me weekly at the moment and it is helping because I had anger symptoms develop a few weeks ago due to home situation and keeping stuff bottled up with no one to help. The anger made my depression worse because I was hurting family emotionally. But that seems to have subsided a little now that I am getting my thoughts out there each week

I just feel asking him to do weekly until I have seen a bit of improvement once CBT starts is me being annoying. But I know after just the assessment I came out feeling extremely low and it stayed that way for a few days which the CBT place have said is common and I will find that this happens during the course but should level out. So having that weekly support there from GP is an good way for me to deal with this happening

I had another SA symptom last GP appt. Came out and the waiting room was jam packed, but then that is because the GP i am seeing overruns because he actually listens to people instead of packing them out with a prescriptiom straight away. But i felt it was my fault people were waiting.
productive morning :woo:

tidied the living room, tidied the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, put first of what will be several loads of clothes in the washing machine

BUT

the hoover is broken, really broken, like sparking electric at me broken :eek:
Original post by Jean-Luc Picard
productive morning :woo:

tidied the living room, tidied the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, put first of what will be several loads of clothes in the washing machine

BUT

the hoover is broken, really broken, like sparking electric at me broken :eek:


Well done! Hoover doesn't sound too good though :eek:


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Does anyone else feel really weird the morning/just in general after they've dissociated?


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Original post by furryface12
Well done! Hoover doesn't sound too good though :eek:


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Does anyone else feel really weird the morning/just in general after they've dissociated?


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thanks :smile: no, gonna have to borrow my mums I think, was rather disconcerting when it sparked!

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:hugs: hope you're doing okay/feel better soon!
Original post by Jean-Luc Picard
thanks :smile: no, gonna have to borrow my mums I think, was rather disconcerting when it sparked!

---

:hugs: hope you're doing okay/feel better soon!


Its goe into shock :tongue:


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Original post by PandaWho
Its goe into shock :tongue:


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:rofl: PRSOM :tongue:
Original post by PandaWho
Its goe into shock :tongue:


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hahahaha no :tongue:
Original post by Noodlzzz
What happened?


Thanks to everyone who responded to me :hugs:

Nothing much happened at all. Was in A&E for 6 hours waiting for psych team, my girlfriend asked where they were after 6 hours and they weren't even aware I was there :facepalm: So I just left because I was so pissed off. Crisis team came yesterday and said that their plan is still to try and keep me out of hospital by seeing me regularly. How are you doing Noodlzzz?

Was feeling a bit better yesterday but it's all come crashing down again :frown:
Original post by bullettheory
Thanks to everyone who responded to me :hugs:

Nothing much happened at all. Was in A&E for 6 hours waiting for psych team, my girlfriend asked where they were after 6 hours and they weren't even aware I was there :facepalm: So I just left because I was so pissed off. Crisis team came yesterday and said that their plan is still to try and keep me out of hospital by seeing me regularly. How are you doing Noodlzzz?

Was feeling a bit better yesterday but it's all come crashing down again :frown:


:jumphug: Glad you're still out and about, and I hope the crisis team are doing their job ok!

Best wishes to girlfriend, cat, and anyone else keeping you sane*


*relative term :tongue:
Grrrr technology.

YouTube videos work all right, but videos on websites or social media don't work as it'll have a green screen when I click play, but the audio still works. I've downloaded adobe and that didn't work.

Plus even windows media player/movie maker has a black screen when a video is being played. Why can technology be so complicated? :redface:

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