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Went on holiday and seem to have upset the guy I'm dating. watch

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    I've been dating this guy for about 4 months, it has been going really well. He generally treats me great and is really sweet, respectful and affectionate. I have been a little bit frustrated at how things were moving quite slowly - we only saw each other about once a week at best and he was quite slow to respond to my texts, taking up to a day sometimes. However, in person things were really great and right before Xmas he met my parents and then my extended family and got me a lovely Xmas gift (I didn't get him anything).

    After Xmas I went on holiday for 3 weeks and before I left, he talked about how he really wanted me to keep in touch while I was out there and how he was going to miss me. He also called me right before I boarded my flight to say bye. Once I was on holiday however, I decided to just have fun with my friend and I didn't get in touch with my guy for a few weeks, and ignored his attempts to contact me. I also got with another guy in a club while I was away, but I haven't told him this.

    When I came home last week, I messaged him to say I was back and he seemed a little bit cold, but said work was really busy for him and asked when he was going to see me. We then didn't speak for a couple of days, which is really unusual for us. We made plans for Thursday night, which he then cancelled because he said he got stuck at work. This turned into a fight because I didn't believe him as he made no attempt to reschedule and is now ignoring my texts.

    I'm really upset about all this and really want to get back to the way things were before I left. I'm well aware I messed up and probably hurt his feelings but I don't know how to get through to him now. He's very, very sensitive and quite non-confrontational, so I think he will ignore me for a long time now if not forever.

    If anyone has any bright ideas about how to fix this, that would be great.
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    The best you can do is to give him some space while attempting to make some contact with him. I'm not surprised he's acting like he is though. You didn't contact him for three whole weeks? I personally wouldn't want any more to do with you, especially if I knew you got with another guy. You should probably ask yourself the question if you actually want to get back with him.

    Maybe send him a letter explaining how you feel which he will have to read... not sure if that's antiquated or not. Might want to give reasons for not contacting him for an extended period of time, he obviously made it clear he wanted to keep in touch with you which you paid scant regard to and without explanation.
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    You didn't speak to him for three weeks, further you actively ignored him for three weeks despite knowing that he had wanted to keep in touch. Additionally you got with another guy whilst away, yet now that you're back you're upset that 'old faithful' is no longer all that interested?

    I might sound harsh, but the reality is that things probably won't go 'back to how they were before' as you've treated him quite poorly.

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    On the flip side, if you're on holiday, would you really be checking your phone like that?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    After Xmas I went on holiday for 3 weeks and before I left, he talked about how he really wanted me to keep in touch while I was out there and how he was going to miss me. He also called me right before I boarded my flight to say bye. Once I was on holiday however, I decided to just have fun with my friend and I didn't get in touch with my guy for a few weeks, and ignored his attempts to contact me. I also got with another guy in a club while I was away, but I haven't told him this.

    When I came home last week, I messaged him to say I was back and he seemed a little bit cold, but said work was really busy for him and asked when he was going to see me. We then didn't speak for a couple of days, which is really unusual for us. We made plans for Thursday night, which he then cancelled because he said he got stuck at work. This turned into a fight because I didn't believe him as he made no attempt to reschedule and is now ignoring my texts.

    I'm really upset about all this and really want to get back to the way things were before I left. I'm well aware I messed up and probably hurt his feelings but I don't know how to get through to him now. He's very, very sensitive and quite non-confrontational, so I think he will ignore me for a long time now if not forever.

    If anyone has any bright ideas about how to fix this, that would be great.
    Frankly you're in the wrong, you ignored his calls, you ****ed someone else and you wonder why he's cold to you... You haven't told him you banged someone else and when you do tell him that, you can forget any relationship.

    If you want things to be the same, you shouldn't be such a selfish girl and ignore then **** someone else. This is 100% on you not him. I hope he leaves your sorry arse.
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    you got with another guy and expect him to contact you lol
    you ignored him the whole time too
    why would he try talking if you don't answer in the first place
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    You gave him time to realise he doesn't need you. He's already over you.

    'work' is just code for I need an excuse, but can't be arsed to think of one up.
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    I hope he doesn't get back together with you, he deserves better :-)
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    This doesn't sound fixable. You treated him badly and are now expecting him to get over it as quickly as possible so things can go back to a pace/tone you're comfortable with. That's selfish. Apologise to the guy properly and leave the ball in his court. A relationship has two people in it...
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    You've cheated on him and admitted you chose to ignore his efforts to contact you. The decent thing to do would be to admit that, and end it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been dating this guy for about 4 months, it has been going really well. He generally treats me great and is really sweet, respectful and affectionate. I have been a little bit frustrated at how things were moving quite slowly - we only saw each other about once a week at best and he was quite slow to respond to my texts, taking up to a day sometimes. However, in person things were really great and right before Xmas he met my parents and then my extended family and got me a lovely Xmas gift (I didn't get him anything).

    After Xmas I went on holiday for 3 weeks and before I left, he talked about how he really wanted me to keep in touch while I was out there and how he was going to miss me. He also called me right before I boarded my flight to say bye. Once I was on holiday however, I decided to just have fun with my friend and I didn't get in touch with my guy for a few weeks, and ignored his attempts to contact me. I also got with another guy in a club while I was away, but I haven't told him this.

    When I came home last week, I messaged him to say I was back and he seemed a little bit cold, but said work was really busy for him and asked when he was going to see me. We then didn't speak for a couple of days, which is really unusual for us. We made plans for Thursday night, which he then cancelled because he said he got stuck at work. This turned into a fight because I didn't believe him as he made no attempt to reschedule and is now ignoring my texts.

    I'm really upset about all this and really want to get back to the way things were before I left. I'm well aware I messed up and probably hurt his feelings but I don't know how to get through to him now. He's very, very sensitive and quite non-confrontational, so I think he will ignore me for a long time now if not forever.

    If anyone has any bright ideas about how to fix this, that would be great.
    So you completely ignored him for three weeks despite presumably not saying anything when he asked you to keep in touch, and in addition to that you cheated on him while you were away.

    Honestly you sound like a pretty horrible person and quite frankly if he does dump you then he'll be much better off for it.
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    On the flip side, if you're on holiday, would you really be checking your phone like that?
    It doesn't take much effort to send a message saying 'sorry I haven't been in contact, I will speak to you properly when I get back', instead of ignoring the person altogether.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been dating this guy for about 4 months, it has been going really well. He generally treats me great and is really sweet, respectful and affectionate. I have been a little bit frustrated at how things were moving quite slowly - we only saw each other about once a week at best and he was quite slow to respond to my texts, taking up to a day sometimes. However, in person things were really great and right before Xmas he met my parents and then my extended family and got me a lovely Xmas gift (I didn't get him anything).

    After Xmas I went on holiday for 3 weeks and before I left, he talked about how he really wanted me to keep in touch while I was out there and how he was going to miss me. He also called me right before I boarded my flight to say bye. Once I was on holiday however, I decided to just have fun with my friend and I didn't get in touch with my guy for a few weeks, and ignored his attempts to contact me. I also got with another guy in a club while I was away, but I haven't told him this.

    When I came home last week, I messaged him to say I was back and he seemed a little bit cold, but said work was really busy for him and asked when he was going to see me. We then didn't speak for a couple of days, which is really unusual for us. We made plans for Thursday night, which he then cancelled because he said he got stuck at work. This turned into a fight because I didn't believe him as he made no attempt to reschedule and is now ignoring my texts.

    I'm really upset about all this and really want to get back to the way things were before I left. I'm well aware I messed up and probably hurt his feelings but I don't know how to get through to him now. He's very, very sensitive and quite non-confrontational, so I think he will ignore me for a long time now if not forever.

    If anyone has any bright ideas about how to fix this, that would be great.
    Well you could have least sent him a couple messages, that does not take 5 minutes. Sorry but you are wondering why he is being cold on you now, you ignored him, doesn't take Einstein to work that out I am afraid, what did you expect? Oh and you slept with someone, how would you feel if this guy did that to you? Sorry but he deserves better than this.
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    FYI guys, I didn't sleep with anyone! We just kissed and it was VERY brief.
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    Pretty sure the reason he wanted you to keep in contact was to quell his fears that you might be up to no good with another guy. Turns out his paranoia was justified.

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    I hope he finds someone better.

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    You ignored him and then "got with" another guy.


    By the sounds of things, he is just trying to punish you which means he probably will forgive you, but in my mind he should just cut you out, no tears, no argument, no drama just disappear from your life like the wind blowing through.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
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    Assuming you've already apologised to him for ignoring his messages, my advice is: Ignore everyone flipping out and being rude in this thread, don't contact him for a few days (to let things cool down), then just ring him one day, ask how he is and hint that you want to see him.
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    Ok, calm down mates, we're going pretty hard on the poor lady out here. But yeah, it certainly does sound fair...
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    You actively ignore him, he ignores you. Seems fair to me.


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