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Having trouble with family
Hi there,
Basically I'm having trouble with my family.
My Dad is just annoying, he has loads of mood swings because of work. He keeps telling me about how life is a bitch and its just embrassing looking at him. All he ever does is work.
He goes to work in the morning and then comes home. Does more work (around the house) then watches TV, and sleeps. He does this EVERY day. Then he just gets mood swings. And there so annoying because its just stupid. It gets me down because its just like, I know today hes alright but tommorow hes going to be angry again and whats the piont?
I asked him in (another) argument I had today, what do you do for fun? He couldnt asnwer me.
My mum is a health fanatic, all the stuff she tells me is lies. I know it is. I think deep down she knows it is. She follows all these bullcrap stories and keeps feeding me crap. Shes so into her culture aswell. And always give me pressure, like " So and So's got an A in this subject, if you dont get it I will be dissapionted". I have so many arguments with her.
Again its the same thing, what do you do all day? She just works! Goes to work, comes home and does the house work and goes to bed.
Whats the piont in life then? For them its just work. Even on their days off, thats what they do.
They are just stuck so much up their own asses its amazing. I cant get through to them, there just cold and distant.
My sister, the one of few that I actually love in my family and I thought I could trust is lieing to me too. I've told her many times, no boyfriends until your 18, then your old enough to know what your doing.
But no, she's going out with some boy and according to my mates and teachers they dont keep their relationship a secret. I dont look at her in the same way anymore. I just cant trust her.
My cousin (who lives nextdoor and got recently married) does not like me too much. But I dont mind that.
Its just my family are stuck in a routine, and scared of change. I cant get through to them, and they just seem like any other person, and they are just going to die like the rest. I know that sounds bad but thats how I feel.
I just dont know what to do. I want to move out. They always say "I want to move to spain" bla bla bla. And Im like why the hell dont you? whos stopping you???
Im blessed with a warm house with food anytime I want it. But my pearants are getting to me, what can I do?
Sorry for the long post.
Basically I'm having trouble with my family.
My Dad is just annoying, he has loads of mood swings because of work. He keeps telling me about how life is a bitch and its just embrassing looking at him. All he ever does is work.
He goes to work in the morning and then comes home. Does more work (around the house) then watches TV, and sleeps. He does this EVERY day. Then he just gets mood swings. And there so annoying because its just stupid. It gets me down because its just like, I know today hes alright but tommorow hes going to be angry again and whats the piont?
I asked him in (another) argument I had today, what do you do for fun? He couldnt asnwer me.
My mum is a health fanatic, all the stuff she tells me is lies. I know it is. I think deep down she knows it is. She follows all these bullcrap stories and keeps feeding me crap. Shes so into her culture aswell. And always give me pressure, like " So and So's got an A in this subject, if you dont get it I will be dissapionted". I have so many arguments with her.
Again its the same thing, what do you do all day? She just works! Goes to work, comes home and does the house work and goes to bed.
Whats the piont in life then? For them its just work. Even on their days off, thats what they do.
They are just stuck so much up their own asses its amazing. I cant get through to them, there just cold and distant.
My sister, the one of few that I actually love in my family and I thought I could trust is lieing to me too. I've told her many times, no boyfriends until your 18, then your old enough to know what your doing.
But no, she's going out with some boy and according to my mates and teachers they dont keep their relationship a secret. I dont look at her in the same way anymore. I just cant trust her.
My cousin (who lives nextdoor and got recently married) does not like me too much. But I dont mind that.
Its just my family are stuck in a routine, and scared of change. I cant get through to them, and they just seem like any other person, and they are just going to die like the rest. I know that sounds bad but thats how I feel.
I just dont know what to do. I want to move out. They always say "I want to move to spain" bla bla bla. And Im like why the hell dont you? whos stopping you???
Im blessed with a warm house with food anytime I want it. But my pearants are getting to me, what can I do?
Sorry for the long post.
Grow up for God's sake! Some people have real problems with their family. Yours sounds exactly like mine to be honest - not ideal but far from awful. My dad works all the time and barely talks to me, he's always in a bad mood. But I'm grateful he's still around and providing me with financial help at uni. My best friend's dad died a while ago, and even though she didn't get along with him, she misses having a dad to do stuff around the house etc. She's having to work her way through uni because her mum can't afford to help her.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
i no it must be hard for you right now..but think about it like this, the hard work your dad is doing..is for your benefit - hes not doing it just for himself. Most mums are like yours lol they just want their kids to do well, so just forget her comments and try and get those A's . As for your sister , wel i dont know what to say about her because i dont quite know how old she is !! keep smiling 
Anonymous
Grow up for God's sake! Some people have real problems with their family. Yours sounds exactly like mine to be honest - not ideal but far from awful. My dad works all the time and barely talks to me, he's always in a bad mood. But I'm grateful he's still around and providing me with financial help at uni. My best friend's dad died a while ago, and even though she didn't get along with him, she misses having a dad to do stuff around the house etc. She's having to work her way through uni because her mum can't afford to help her.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
To be honest, I'm kinda siding with this post. I never really see my Dad, my Mum has continual mood swings because like most people, she's stressed and has problems. I still love them, and always will. And, to be honest what is up with your whole sister thing? I mean, she can do what she wants, it's not up to you. Family life isn't meant to be easy, and in reality, the majority are usually quite dysfunctional.
Anonymous
Grow up for God's sake! Some people have real problems with their family. Yours sounds exactly like mine to be honest - not ideal but far from awful. My dad works all the time and barely talks to me, he's always in a bad mood. But I'm grateful he's still around and providing me with financial help at uni. My best friend's dad died a while ago, and even though she didn't get along with him, she misses having a dad to do stuff around the house etc. She's having to work her way through uni because her mum can't afford to help her.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
Your mum is a health fanatic? So? She expects you to do well at school? So does any decent parent. My parents work, come home, and sleep because they're always wrecked. Because they're out earning money to help me and my siblings! What else are they supposed to do? What you rather they quit work and live in poverty?
Your sister doesn't have to follow any 'rules' you set - she's entitled to have a boyfriend if she wants. Again, my sister had a boyfriend she never told me or my parents about. Big deal. It's her life. not yours.
To be honest you sound very immature and very spoiled. Have you ever considered doing the housework so your mum can have a break and do something she enjoys? Or do you just sit on here moaning about how boring your family are? What do YOU do to contribute? You seem like a control freak who isn't happy unless everything is going exactly how you want it.
I think you should be more grateful for what you do have - 2 parents, a sister, a warm home. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Your 'problems' just sound like any normal family. I think you're the one who should change your attitude.
Thanks for the reply.
I cook dinner alot for my family. I keep my room tidy and everyday after school before my pearants come home I tidy up the house.
My cousins dad passed away (my dads brother) so I know about being grateful for a father.
Im grateful for all the things that I have. But its just material things? You know?
They are just there. As Im writing my dad and mum are screaming at each other.
Its just like if there were friends they wouldnt like each other. They are just together because they have to be.
Even when the house is all cleaned. When me and my sister have given up our saturday morning (9am-1pm) cleaning up the house so its all right. My mum will come home, look around and not notice. Then start cleaning up again.
Its just like why?
I know my problems are NOTHING to what some people go through, but that doesnt mean the problems get me down and effect me.
I also had a friend who lost her father, he commited suicide and it was really hard, its like someone lost their soul.
Anonymous
Thanks for the reply.
I cook dinner alot for my family. I keep my room tidy and everyday after school before my pearants come home I tidy up the house.
My cousins dad passed away (my dads brother) so I know about being grateful for a father.
Im grateful for all the things that I have. But its just material things? You know?
They are just there. As Im writing my dad and mum are screaming at each other.
Its just like if there were friends they wouldnt like each other. They are just together because they have to be.
Even when the house is all cleaned. When me and my sister have given up our saturday morning (9am-1pm) cleaning up the house so its all right. My mum will come home, look around and not notice. Then start cleaning up again.
Its just like why?
I know my problems are NOTHING to what some people go through, but that doesnt mean the problems get me down and effect me.
I also had a friend who lost her father, he commited suicide and it was really hard, its like someone lost their soul.
I cook dinner alot for my family. I keep my room tidy and everyday after school before my pearants come home I tidy up the house.
My cousins dad passed away (my dads brother) so I know about being grateful for a father.
Im grateful for all the things that I have. But its just material things? You know?
They are just there. As Im writing my dad and mum are screaming at each other.
Its just like if there were friends they wouldnt like each other. They are just together because they have to be.
Even when the house is all cleaned. When me and my sister have given up our saturday morning (9am-1pm) cleaning up the house so its all right. My mum will come home, look around and not notice. Then start cleaning up again.
Its just like why?
I know my problems are NOTHING to what some people go through, but that doesnt mean the problems get me down and effect me.
I also had a friend who lost her father, he commited suicide and it was really hard, its like someone lost their soul.
Oh and about my sister. In my religon its very strict not to have boyfriends and such, shes 13. I dont mind at 18, or 17.
But its just like, she promised her pearants she is not doing anything. When I found out I walked up to her and told her to swear on her gods life that she aint doing nothing. She lied right in front of me.
We've had huge arguments were I screamed at my mum saying my sister is not doing anything stupid in school. That im looking after her.
And for this to happen, even when I stuck up for her its hard u know?
It's really difficult for your elders to take in and agree to what you're saying to them. Most parents are stuck in their own ways and routines so much that they rarely stop to look around. (Not saying everybodys parents!)
Sounds like your Dad is tired from work all the time and doesn't have much left to do anything else but watch TV? Does he have hobbies? Gardening, sports, going to the pub?
Tired people are usually snappy and unresponsive and some people will take any piece of advice as an attack, so will put up their guard and generally block stuff out they don't want to hear.
Maybe he just wants to pay off the mortgage sooner? Then have fun.
You Mum sounds a little like my Mum. Feeding me non stop, not always feeding me the right stuff but what she felt was right, and nagging me saying good things about other peoples kids etc, still get it now lol it never ends. It's just how some Mums are, at the end of the day she's doing what she believes is right because she cares for you.
If they're not doing things the way you would want them to do things then you are the one who needs to take a step back and calm down. Cut them some slack, parent's go through a lot!
As for your sis, not sure how old you all are but if you usually tell a younger person not to do stuff they tend to do the opposite lol
Why are you telling her what to do anyway? It's cool to be protective over her, but not to give her orders.
If you don't take time to reflect from other peoples points of view you might run the risk of growing up toooooooooooooooooo fast!
BTW this is not a dig at you, so don't feel bad about it.
Sounds like your Dad is tired from work all the time and doesn't have much left to do anything else but watch TV? Does he have hobbies? Gardening, sports, going to the pub?
Tired people are usually snappy and unresponsive and some people will take any piece of advice as an attack, so will put up their guard and generally block stuff out they don't want to hear.
Maybe he just wants to pay off the mortgage sooner? Then have fun.
You Mum sounds a little like my Mum. Feeding me non stop, not always feeding me the right stuff but what she felt was right, and nagging me saying good things about other peoples kids etc, still get it now lol it never ends. It's just how some Mums are, at the end of the day she's doing what she believes is right because she cares for you.
If they're not doing things the way you would want them to do things then you are the one who needs to take a step back and calm down. Cut them some slack, parent's go through a lot!
As for your sis, not sure how old you all are but if you usually tell a younger person not to do stuff they tend to do the opposite lol
Why are you telling her what to do anyway? It's cool to be protective over her, but not to give her orders.
If you don't take time to reflect from other peoples points of view you might run the risk of growing up toooooooooooooooooo fast!
BTW this is not a dig at you, so don't feel bad about it.
Guru,
Thanks for the reply!
Yeah I can now understand where my mum is coming from. Its just like sometimes she just says stupid things to "enforce" her role as a mother, like-
I really never like snap back at them, sorry if I came across like I do. Its only sometimes when its just non-stop arguing and its just like what the hell now!!!
Oh and, whenever we go out together, just the 4 of us. There is ALWAYS an big argument. We CANNOT go anywhere, or do anyhting as a family.
I guess I am being stupid, but it just gets to me sometimes. Thanks for the replies peeps! Put me back in my place
Thanks for the reply!
Yeah I can now understand where my mum is coming from. Its just like sometimes she just says stupid things to "enforce" her role as a mother, like-
I really never like snap back at them, sorry if I came across like I do. Its only sometimes when its just non-stop arguing and its just like what the hell now!!!
Oh and, whenever we go out together, just the 4 of us. There is ALWAYS an big argument. We CANNOT go anywhere, or do anyhting as a family.
I guess I am being stupid, but it just gets to me sometimes. Thanks for the replies peeps! Put me back in my place
I tend to act differently when my Mum says something to me that I don't agree with. Not that I ignore her, I take in what she is saying to me, but I just nod in agreement or whatever even if i don't agree with it.
As long as you think you're right and you believe in it then keep that in mind. But also understand what other people are telling you and use it to add to your understanding.
"If you think you're perfect you'll never learn anything"
As long as you think you're right and you believe in it then keep that in mind. But also understand what other people are telling you and use it to add to your understanding.
"If you think you're perfect you'll never learn anything"
Anonymous
Guru,
Thanks for the reply!
Yeah I can now understand where my mum is coming from. Its just like sometimes she just says stupid things to "enforce" her role as a mother, like-
I really never like snap back at them, sorry if I came across like I do. Its only sometimes when its just non-stop arguing and its just like what the hell now!!!
Oh and, whenever we go out together, just the 4 of us. There is ALWAYS an big argument. We CANNOT go anywhere, or do anyhting as a family.
I guess I am being stupid, but it just gets to me sometimes. Thanks for the replies peeps! Put me back in my place
Thanks for the reply!
Yeah I can now understand where my mum is coming from. Its just like sometimes she just says stupid things to "enforce" her role as a mother, like-
I really never like snap back at them, sorry if I came across like I do. Its only sometimes when its just non-stop arguing and its just like what the hell now!!!
Oh and, whenever we go out together, just the 4 of us. There is ALWAYS an big argument. We CANNOT go anywhere, or do anyhting as a family.
I guess I am being stupid, but it just gets to me sometimes. Thanks for the replies peeps! Put me back in my place
I know exactly what you mean about going out as a family, mine are like that, does my head in!
Your sister... I can understand it is hard for you if you're trying to look out for her, and even if 13 is a little young, it can be very hard to abide by the rules of one culture and live in another one which tells you it's ok to do the things the first one says are bad. Think about it from your sisters point of view, I imagine that boys are a very big topic of conversation amongst her and her friends, as with most groups of 13 year old girls, she must wonder why it's ok for them to want boyfriends, but for her it's bad! She may well have promised your parents, but look what you've just posted about them, can't you sympathise with her a little bit? You said they're "stuck in a routine, and scared of change", but by reacting like this, so are you really. Also, no boyfriends until 18; what makes you think that by being a particular age she'll suddenly be able to make choices she was incapable of before? I'd suggest you turn a bit of a blind eye to it all, in honesty few relationships between 13-year olds are very serious, even if they think they are, and the chances are it won't last that long anyway. If she can't tell your parents she'll need someone to talk to, so maybe you can be that person...and try to avoid saying "told you so".
I think you should back off with your sister - it's her life and if she screws up, she'll learn. If I told my younger sister to stop doing things like that she'd laugh in my face and tell me **** off. I think your should tell you that too!!
Also, your Dad sound like he has a tough time - you asking him what he did for fun and he couldn't say?! If that was my Dad's reply it would break my heart.
Just have some patience with people: your mum and dad aren't perfect, and neither are you. They are just normal people with fears, attitude problems and worries: don't be so harsh on them.
Also, your Dad sound like he has a tough time - you asking him what he did for fun and he couldn't say?! If that was my Dad's reply it would break my heart.
Just have some patience with people: your mum and dad aren't perfect, and neither are you. They are just normal people with fears, attitude problems and worries: don't be so harsh on them.
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