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Some 'blasphemous' curses for atheists needed, please watch

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    I need some new curses for when outraged or when I stub my toe. For example, when I read:

    (Original post by Raymat)
    An animal can suffer when it loses its soul. It doesn't have to be all about neurones.
    I wanted to cry out "Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty!"

    Because of my cultural origins, I have inherited Christianity-based curses such as the above and "Oh, for God's sake", "for Heaven's sake", "Christ on a bike" and, from across the herring pond, "Jesus H. Christ".

    Now I don't feel comfortable using these and have not for some years.

    (a) It offends some Christians that I use their deities' names in vain and the purpose is not to offend them but to vent my frustration;
    (b) They are not my deities so I'm not really entitled to use them;
    (c) There's no point picking on some other religion ("well, bugger my Buddha" doesn't solve the problem);
    (d) I don't feel comfortable using any religion-based foul language as it does not conjure up proper emotion for an atheist.

    I'm not interested in "oops", "whoopsie", "well, fancy that". I want full-on, grown-up, adrenaline-fuelled, non-religious, non-swearing curses. Stronger than "Oh, futbuckets!" but not so strong it would get one banned on TSR. Along the lines of "Feck!" although that's really just unatisfactory non-sweary swearing like "ass" and "mother". It needs to be good enough to yell when I fall down the stairs in the pub. Again.

    Bring 'em on, dudes.

    TL;DR: You see someone's painted a religious symbol on your motorbike and so you yell …
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    the f word
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    Oh for the love of Darwin!
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    for ****'s sake

    bonus points if you're an ex-Christian
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    'By Galileo's groin!'

    'Holy halloumi!'

    'Ducking Dan Brown!'

    'Dawkins help me'

    '****ty supernovae'
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    'By all things that are not holy and/or related to a deity, this situation vexes me greatly!'
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    This will descend in to a huge **** storm...
 
 
 
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