Ok, i have been dating my girlfriend for just over a year and i really love her. She is really kind and everything and even though i do trust her, i still get nervous when she goes to parties and stuff? Is that a normal way to feel?
Also, recently, we have been getting into a lot of arguments and most of these arguments develop from her being really self centred and thinking only about herself. We are both 18 and still at school in our last year and i hardly see her except for weekends, however, i do see her a lot during the holidays. We usually spend the weekends together but sometimes its only a Sunday because she's with friends which i do get upset about considering i have pulled out of many parties etc so i can see her because I'm not happy unless she is also happy.
The issue is, i feel she is prioritising parties over seeing me. Now i know that sounds selfish, but i am just unsure because i have not been in many relationships but i would always choose to see my girlfriend over a party because i don't see any interest or fun not being with her at those sorts of events. Obviously i do still go out with friends, but only when she is busy or during holidays when i know i can see her for a lot longer after. I do this because i simply don't enjoy myself at clubs and parties when she isn't there.
Basically, am i wrong to feel this way? I am just unsure because i do lots of things for her and she will never do anything nice back unless it is in her best interest or she is getting something out of it. I am always prepared to go out of my way to make her happy but she just isn't which upsets me and makes me wonder whether she is as committed as me in the relationship
What should i do?
Girlfriend problem watch
- Thread Starter
- 31-01-2015 23:10
- 01-02-2015 00:12
It's not wrong to feel this way, no. Being in a relationship is about compromising. You're clearly quite a reasonable guy because you're not preventing her from having a social life, which is very important. A lot of people start dating someone and abandon their friends, or become possessive and make their partners abandon their friends.
But at the same time, she needs to learn to balance her time. If she loves you she will make time for you. Talk to her about it, tell her that of course you want her to see her friends and have fun with them, but that you miss her and want to see her more than just once a week. If you live far from each other then obviously it's trickier. I'm more or less long distance with my boyfriend and he works full time so I only get to see him weekends, so I know how hard it is to manage uni/friends and boyfriend! But it is doable.
Having re-read your OP, what I would say is that I think you should try to enjoy yourself when your girlfriend isn't there as well as when she is. Depending on someone to constantly be there to be happy is not healthy at all. Why not have a lads night out as and when? Why does your gf have to be there always?
Offline19ReputationRep:TSR Support Team
- TSR Support Team
- 01-02-2015 00:42
I think you both gotta have a balance really, she obviously has lots of friends and is a very social person so she will want to go to many parties, where it becomes unfair is if she moans at you going to parties as well. You both still gotta have your own friends whilst you are in a relationship with each other. Maybe have a weekend where you both go to parties and another weekend of just spending time together, as the person above said, it is about compromise.