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    Thought I'd start a thread where people can tell jokes, be a bit silly, say funny things and generally have a bit of fun as many ukl-ers are all working hard for exams at the mo. Hopefully this will give rise to some giggles to cheer up anyone bogged down/stressed out with work...
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    What do Mexicans put under their carpets?



    Underlay underlay!!!
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    (Original post by Amb1)
    What do Mexicans put under their carpets?



    Underlay underlay!!!
    lol...what do musicians do when they die?






    decompose
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    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
    Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
    Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

    Drink: White Zin
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
    Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk ... and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

    Additional note: If she likes salt on the rim of her Margarita, she swallows.
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    A vampire walked into the bar and asked for a cup of hot water. "I thought vampires only drunk blood" asked the barkeeper. "I'm having tea" said the vsmpire, pulling out a used tampon.
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    Ha shots are my fave drink, and I ALWAYS have salt on my margharita
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    Why is a Raven Like A writing desk?

    ok its not really a joke more like a random statement i say from Alice in Wonderland.
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    (Original post by wiwarin_mir)
    A vampire walked into the bar and asked for a cup of hot water. "I thought vampires only drunk blood" asked the barkeeper. "I'm having tea" said the vsmpire, pulling out a used tampon.
    Eeeeeeeeeew!
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    (Original post by Ellie4)
    Ha shots are my fave drink, and I ALWAYS have salt on my margharita

    So is it true?
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    (Original post by Everdawn)
    Why is a Raven Like A writing desk?

    ok its not really a joke more like a random statement i say from Alice in Wonderland.
    Is it a raven shaped writing desk?
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)

    So is it true?
    I better not say, I'll get this thread deleted!
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    (Original post by Ellie4)
    I better not say, I'll get this thread deleted!
    A yes or no answer wont get deleted!

    But not that i'm particularly interested or anything
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    (Original post by Amb1)
    Eeeeeeeeeew!
    excellent, now the next joke.

    A man walks intoa bar and shouts for the barkeeper "I'm so thirsty I could drink anything" The barkeeper thought for a moment before saying "Ok, I'll tell you what, I'll give you free drinks in here for life if you drink the contents of that spitoon"
    The man breifly looked at it and then walked over, picked it up and began gulping it down. Everyone in the bar was shocked and the barkeeper persistantly tried to get him to stop, offering him free drinks for life anyway.
    Nothing anyone could say could make the man stop, and soon he had finished drinking everything. "why didn't you stop, I told you that you could have free drinks anyway?" Well, the man said, it all came out in one big lump."
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    Is it a raven shaped writing desk?
    no..

    Becuase it produces little notes and is NEVAR put the wrong way up. (NEVAR...RAVEN.. backwards,,,get it?) anway it was written by Lewis Carroll and he put the answer in a later edition of the book and the publishers changed the spelling of NEVAR to NEVER... so no one got that it was the answer to the riddle.
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    A yes or no answer wont get deleted!

    But not that i'm particularly interested or anything
    Heh, I'll go with yes then
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    (Original post by Everdawn)
    no..

    Becuase it produces little notes and is NEVAR put the wrong way up. (NEVAR...RAVEN.. backwards,,,get it?) anway it was written by Lewis Carroll and he put the answer in a later edition of the book and the publishers changed the spelling of NEVAR to NEVER... so no one got that it was the answer to the riddle.
    Surely a raven shaped writing desk is a better answer?

    Do ravens produce little notes?
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    (Original post by Ellie4)
    Heh, I'll go with yes then


    So how long should i wait then?
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)


    So how long should i wait then?
    I'm getting there. One or two more shots ought to do it!
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    (Original post by Iluvatar)
    Surely a raven shaped writing desk is a better answer?

    Do ravens produce little notes?
    Who knows? Id ask Mr Carroll myself but he's dead.
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    (Original post by wiwarin_mir)
    excellent, now the next joke.

    A man walks intoa bar and shouts for the barkeeper "I'm so thirsty I could drink anything" The barkeeper thought for a moment before saying "Ok, I'll tell you what, I'll give you free drinks in here for life if you drink the contents of that spitoon"
    The man breifly looked at it and then walked over, picked it up and began gulping it down. Everyone in the bar was shocked and the barkeeper persistantly tried to get him to stop, offering him free drinks for life anyway.
    Nothing anyone could say could make the man stop, and soon he had finished drinking everything. "why didn't you stop, I told you that you could have free drinks anyway?" Well, the man said, it all came out in one big lump."
    Ok >being really thick here< that sounds gross but I dont 100% get it
 
 
 
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