I miss my friend so much Watch

butterfly1452
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#1
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I knew my ex best friend since before we came to uni, (he's male, I'm female) we were very very close and used to talk a lot. We really had something great, or so I thought. When we came to uni we got drunk and accidentally got together one night. Things were kinda weird afterwards but we started to get over it, and were friends again until a couple of days later when we went to a rave and I got really really stoned & drunk. When we came back to our hall we were standing and talking to a few guys that I assumed he was friends with. I forget how the conversation went as I really was hammered, but one of the guys said to me '***** told us he licked you out'. I thought he had spread to the whole hall about us getting together and because of the alcohol in my system mostly, went completely psycho on his ass, screamed at him in front of everyone and pretty much scared the **** out of him.

The next day I was so hurt that, even though I knew it was juvenile, I started telling people that he had a tiny penis & other such immature things. He hasn't spoken to me since then. I sent him a message telling him he'd ruined my uni experience and he replied saying I'd embarrassed him by flipping out the other night. I didn't apologise, even though I should have. A week later I tried talking to him on MSN. He responded for a while but then 'went offline' and I found out he had blocked me.

Everyone is telling me to forget him but I really miss him, AS A FRIEND. I hear him having a laugh with his new mates and I really miss talking to him. I don't know whether to leave it or try talking to him again. I am friends with some of his friends who are really cool - I was thinking I could use this as a way to sort of sneak my way back into his life, but he avoids me every time I'm with them. HELP! I miss my bestie!! Will he ever forgive me?
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Rock Fan
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Well it's best to ignore him what he has done at best is immature and brag to his friends, i think it shows what sort of person he truely is.
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butterfly1452
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sorry, posted thread twice.

i dont want to ignore him - he didnt brag to his friends, it was a misunderstanding. i spoke to the friend who had said the thing about the licking out and he genuinely had no idea that me & my friend had hooked up. i believe him.
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Rock Fan
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Oh in that case then maybe you need to talk to each other and clear the air.
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butterfly1452
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he doesnt want to talk to me though... im really scared... do you think it would be better to do it while we're drunk?
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andy_cole2
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no definitly not don't back out of it aka do it drunk. you have to talk to him you must have a whole load of memories. he blatently thinks about you loads and misses you just as much as you miss him. but he's torn because you hurt his feelings and there's the whole trust issues that i guess has been kindof messed with.

does he ignore you in the corridor? you could try going through a friend, whateve rhappens don't leave it and back out of it and don't deal with it drunk it can only get worse
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Michelle12
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I know you feel bad about it now, but geez why did you tell his mates he had a tiny d!ick? You know how sensitive, guys are about these things. :p:
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Flank Runner
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write him a letter explaining exactly how you feel, that way he'll feel less pressurised, i hope all goes well for you
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xChellex
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You need to talk to him about what has happened, and apologise.
Best not to do it drunk, as otherwise, history may repeat itself - and that really would spell the end. Plus, you need to be sober in order to get accross to him that you are clear about what you're saying and that you're genuine (not just under some alcoholic haze etc.)

It's hard to push back the boundary from more than friends back to just friends even when a big argument hasn't taken place, but it can happen, so try your best and with a bit of luck, you'll both be able to work it out alright.
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butterfly1452
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I hope so... Yes he does ignore me in the corridor, the dinner hall, the post room, wherever I see him he acts like I don't exist & I do the same to him... I want to talk to him but I have absolutely no idea when I'm going to get the chance to get him on his own... He's always surrounded by his friends.

Oh and Michelle, I did it cos I knew it would hurt his feelings & I was feeling spiteful... when I thought he'd spread that we slept together I was incredibly hurt obviously.
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andy_cole2
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you could try and unite yourselfs in hate, what exactly made you think he'd spread about you sleeping together, find a culprit and you can unite.

alternatively your gonna have to take the plunge and approach him, he's not surrounded by friends as such, he's surrounded by people that make him feel confident, he'l always laugh louder and tlak faster round them cos he wants to show to you that he's ok and that it doesn't matter to him, of course it does. you don't have to get him on his own, if you go into the group of friends it may be awkward but the bravery of going in means i'm sure that someone in the group will bale you out if it gets too bad.
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Michelle12
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I may have missed a few details and I know he's ignoring you at the moment but have you tried approaching him and apologising first? It takes a really humble person to do it but I've always forgiven people within a second when they've come up to me in person and apoligised. Oh, and I'm not super nice or anything. :p: I actually have so much respect for anyone who does this.

If he's hardly ever on his own ( and if you're brave enough), when you spot him, hold his arm and say you want to speak to him and take him to a private corner and talk. If that's too hard then how about writing down how you feel on a letter and then sending it to him?
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LadyEnglish
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You probably seriously damaged his ego, don't think you can regain a friendship easily. Just give him space for now and gradually hang out where he does, engage in casual talk and perhaps you may be able to redeem your friendship. Word of the wise though, don't get so totally hammered, and especially around him x
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Choad
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oooh double post lol

tell him ur sorry, tell him u know what u did was stupid, hopefully he'll say what he did was stupid too, then go back to the way things were. i can relate very well to your situation. and both me and her have ****ed things up several times but luckily we *always* end up forgetting everything after one of us makes the effort to clear the air (usually me lol)
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Anonymous #1
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Appologise to him in person. If he doesn't readily accept it/ still seems weird grab the first person you see and tell them he's very well endowed. I reckon that will make him laugh/defrost. He's probably only angry about the spiteful rumour spreading, not the shouting and general hysteria. It's best not to let it go on too long, it's only going to get harder.
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andy_cole2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
only going to get harder.
true in context...funny out of it :p:
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butterfly1452
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#17
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LOL... you guys are funny!! Thanks for all the advice. I tried going riiight up to him at dinner and ALMOST said something... he wouldn't even look me in the eye! So then I chickened out and said nothing...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Appologise to him in person. If he doesn't readily accept it/ still seems weird grab the first person you see and tell them he's very well endowed. I reckon that will make him laugh/defrost. He's probably only angry about the spiteful rumour spreading, not the shouting and general hysteria. It's best not to let it go on too long, it's only going to get harder.

I meant tell the stranger than your friend is very well endowed btw not the stranger... Just in case that wasn't clear lol. I dont think complimenting a strangers genitalia would help the situation much.
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Michelle12
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Pluck up the courage and do it. Don't even think about it, just do it! :p:
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andy_cole2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I dont think complimenting a strangers genitalia would help the situation much.
depends what you want off the stragner...

anyway yeah don't chicken out, approach him at dinner approach him somewhere. i can't believe many boys would actaully just straighout blank you. he may give you a crappy small answer but blanking people by this time makes you look a bit of a ****** amongst your friends, and his friends won't exactly respect him for blanking some girl who's clearly done the best thing in coming over to straighten things up.
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