Why is he acting this way?
I saw a similar situation on here that an anonymous user posted several months ago and I couldn't help but identify with her situation but unfortunately he never came back to this site so i don't know how it turned out.
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
WTF xD
If he did that for your birthday, then he doesn't hate you, quite the opposite. He likes you. I can't tell how much though.
If he did that for your birthday, then he doesn't hate you, quite the opposite. He likes you. I can't tell how much though.
Original post by jgintheoc
I saw a similar situation on here that an anonymous user posted several months ago and I couldn't help but identify with her situation but unfortunately he never came back to this site so i don't know how it turned out.
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
Quite the contrary. I would say he seems shy and may not know how to approach you but he was talking to you in the past...
Maybe he started to over-think the whole thing ages ago, just like you are doing now, and for no apparent reason he thought you didn't like him and stopped talking to you after that but secretly he likes you and wants you to like him more through those gifts.
Original post by jgintheoc
I saw a similar situation on here that an anonymous user posted several months ago and I couldn't help but identify with her situation but unfortunately he never came back to this site so i don't know how it turned out.
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
My problem is this. I have this job that i have had for a couple of year now and in the beginning I became friends with a male coworker that worked in a different area as me. We clicked instantly, he was shy ...i was shy..things were great and I developed a crush on him...as time went on, it evolved into strong adoration and i genuinely care about him.
However one day all of a sudden it was as if I didn't exist anymore and it has led to alot of confusion on my part and now its at a point where we just don't talk like we used to. We talk all the time and once in a blue moon will joke with me but to see how freindly and social and talkative he is with everyone and to see him very quiet around me makes me sad. I don't think its a him being shy/awkward/unsure thing as he'll talk to me about work things and occasional about personal things but THE WAY he talks to me is different than everyone else.
I did what common sense said and to try and talk to him more and get / force him to talk but it doesn't work. He doesn't react to things I say to him like how he would react with anyone else.
The weird thing is, during my bday...he went out of his way to ask my closest friend at work what cake he should get for my bday. He planned this surprise but not for anyone else and then for the past two christmas he's bought the most unique, beautiful and expensive gifts for me but bought $10 chocolates for everyone else.
But I don't get it, how can he do those sweet things but not treat me like he does with everyone else. I miss joking with him, he easily compliments everyone but has never complimented me since things changed...and he doesn't even really ask me how I'm doing usually but will with everyone else.
Does he hate me?
It seems asif he must fancy you back in a peculiar way. Look at it this way, he laughs and jokes with everyone else who he considers to be his friends. He used to laugh and joke with you...as a friend. You developed feelings, I get that. Now that he isn't as sociable as he was, he must not consider you to be a friend. He must like you more than that, the presents too must confirm abit of romance? The expensive gifts must symbolize something.
I just think this is how he reacts to being in love.
I don't know you know. At this point if its because its anything more than friends from his viewpoint its a pretty messed up way of showing it. All it does is make me feel bad like I don't matter.
Sunday is his bday and I went out of my way to give him this simple gift he'd appreciate and he didn't even open it or say thank you. It's been sitting on his desk for a couple of hours now.
This isn't how you win someone over.
Sunday is his bday and I went out of my way to give him this simple gift he'd appreciate and he didn't even open it or say thank you. It's been sitting on his desk for a couple of hours now.
This isn't how you win someone over.
Well I found out he talked to a friend of mine about what was going on and she basically told him that I am disheartened because all he does is keep pushing me away and treating me like I'm insignificant and then goes around to be all chummy with everyone else right in front of me.
He told her that he was distant and serious with everyone and he makes sure he keeps everyone at a distance. She corrected him quickly and said despite what he thinks he's acting like in his head...his actions are coming out as something different. That he goes around and is being charming and helpful and he's misleading people thinking that he and them are friends by getting to know them and hanging out with them and making them laugh. She said he got quiet because he didn't realize that's how it was coming across and she also added but when it comes to me he's done nothing but push me away when I'm a very caring and kindhearted person who has always had his back and he got quiet at first because he didn't realize any of this. Almost like he had an epiphany.
She also brought up how he told her how a few months ago that I seemed to have hated certain gifts like a baby Xmas tree that he gave me and she brought up that I loved the tree he gave me so much that I have worked hard to keep it alive despite the fact that i have this weird ability at killing off plants. That I did alot of research to figure out how I could keep it alive for as long as I possibly could. He said he was shocked to hear and know that I loved the tree.
He then said that sometimes I make it tough for him because I put a wall up and my mood, and she corrected him quickly again and said because of the wall you put up with her since the beginning and you treat her...again he got quiet and pondered that statement for a bit and then she added that he has to try harder at being aware of how he acts around me because I'm the one person that we all know that he can actually trust.
She couldn't remember the rest of the conversation so I don't know what he will do from here on out. He may not do anything at all or try harder...it depends on him. I haven't heard from him yet so who knows
What does everyone think?
He told her that he was distant and serious with everyone and he makes sure he keeps everyone at a distance. She corrected him quickly and said despite what he thinks he's acting like in his head...his actions are coming out as something different. That he goes around and is being charming and helpful and he's misleading people thinking that he and them are friends by getting to know them and hanging out with them and making them laugh. She said he got quiet because he didn't realize that's how it was coming across and she also added but when it comes to me he's done nothing but push me away when I'm a very caring and kindhearted person who has always had his back and he got quiet at first because he didn't realize any of this. Almost like he had an epiphany.
She also brought up how he told her how a few months ago that I seemed to have hated certain gifts like a baby Xmas tree that he gave me and she brought up that I loved the tree he gave me so much that I have worked hard to keep it alive despite the fact that i have this weird ability at killing off plants. That I did alot of research to figure out how I could keep it alive for as long as I possibly could. He said he was shocked to hear and know that I loved the tree.
He then said that sometimes I make it tough for him because I put a wall up and my mood, and she corrected him quickly again and said because of the wall you put up with her since the beginning and you treat her...again he got quiet and pondered that statement for a bit and then she added that he has to try harder at being aware of how he acts around me because I'm the one person that we all know that he can actually trust.
She couldn't remember the rest of the conversation so I don't know what he will do from here on out. He may not do anything at all or try harder...it depends on him. I haven't heard from him yet so who knows
What does everyone think?
(edited 9 years ago)
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