The Student Room Group

Love v/s arranged marriage

What are your views??
Does Love marriage last longer or ,is it the opposite??
Or simply it is better to remain single???
Feminists perspective ...


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Reply 1
I'd say love marriages would defo last longer because the thing that holds the marriage is love! having said that, if the marriage is arranged it means someones arranged it for them, therefore theyre less likely to divorce because they wouldnt be allowed:/ love marriage all the way though :groovy:
If you have had an arranged marriage you 'love' has been forced...
which means your love wont last long.
Arranged marriages often occur in south asian families. South Asians have a low rate of divorce so yes they do last longer. But you need to ask what is the point of being married if you are in a bad relationship, the is a stigma within the south asian community about getting divorced, so yes technically they may last longer but that may not be because they are more successful.
Original post by shoriffmiah
If you have had an arranged marriage you 'love' has been forced...
which means your love wont last long.


You cant force a feeling. You can be forced to marry someone but you cant be forced to love them.
Original post by College_Dropout
Arranged marriages often occur in south asian families. South Asians have a low rate of divorce so yes they do last longer. But you need to ask what is the point of being married if you are in a bad relationship, the is a stigma within the south asian community about getting divorced, so yes technically they may last longer but that may not be because they are more successful.


They last long in asian familys because they dont want to pay the divorce money.
You probably know what this means...
Almost every love marriage starts with an "arranged" relationship, for example the couple may have met through common friends and from there, they started getting to know each other. Of course deciding whether he/she is the right person will not be known instantly but as time passes the reality is revealed and we get to know the person...




Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by shoriffmiah
They last long in asian familys because they dont want to pay the divorce money.
You probably know what this means...


No thats not a reason, if you didnt know both parties dont need to agree to divorce.
Reply 8
Original post by Myelinlaureate
What are your views??
Does Love marriage last longer or ,is it the opposite??
Or simply it is better to remain single???
Feminists perspective ...


Posted from TSR Mobile



I think that both types of marriages can work.

Love can grow in an arranged marriage if the two parties are, at least, physically attracted to each other, and are willing to work together.

Love can fade in a 'for-love' marriage, and end up with the couple divorcing.

Whether a marriage (arranged, or not) lasts is down to a number of factors. But the main factor I would think is the culture that one is raised in. If the culture punishes divorce then you can expect that the couple might stay married despite not being in love.
Another factor is a persons own upbringing. The culture a person is raised in might frown upon divorce, but their parents might have told them that they disagree with that aspect of culture. Such a person might be more likely to divorce as there are no social repercussions in their immediate family circle.

To summarise. Marriage is a gamble.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by College_Dropout
Arranged marriages often occur in south asian families. South Asians have a low rate of divorce so yes they do last longer. But you need to ask what is the point of being married if you are in a bad relationship, the is a stigma within the south asian community about getting divorced, so yes technically they may last longer but that may not be because they are more successful.


Love marriage" is the way of the westerners, nearly everyone in America and England and other Western countries have this 'Love marriage' but then when you look at the divorce rates in these countries, it speaks volumes. 8 out of 10 marriages in England fail, or end in a divorce. What about the statistics of those who've been unfaithful, over 50% of people who use dating ads in America are already married. Lol. what about the many 'Married' men who are "allegedly" 'in love' with their wives' yet have mistresses' on the side. All of these people have had this so called 'love marriage?' what happened to the love. Now I'm not saying all this doesn't happen in the Eastern world, but the majority of Easterners live a long happily married life, and I'm sure nearly all of you Easterns can vouch for that. (Look at your parents)

The best part of marriage is getting to know one another even better. Yes one must also get to know their partners before marrying, but to an extent, then you have so much to look forward to when marrying. But if you've "allegedly" fallen in love prior to a marriage, then really you have nothing to look forward to. It takes the buzz out of marriage. Sometimes, when people do fall in love prior to a marriage, they might not even end up with eachother. And that's the reason so few people are capable of intimacy today, because that spiritual centre of union with another person has been scattered in bits and pieces all over their previous partner's lives. It's one of the great logical reasons why Islam has prohibited all pre-marital relationships. This is where the Western world is going wrong.

I married a 18 Sri Lankan Tamil year old virgin - and she's been trying to make up for lost time ever since. Her motor's always running! (Bless her heart.)

Barcode .I have had with sex with all my British girlsfriends me think that all girls were hoes here. Which was a terrible mentality but it is what eventually led me to “choose” My wife from the same town.

Not it was not arranged in the sense of looking through books of pictures and picking out a prize.She was the most beautiful girl I have seen there. After my 25st birthday I asked my mom what to do . My mom of course was extremely proud that I was continuing with tradition both in culture and in religion. They a complete background search on her to see if her past is not shady. No one had anything bad to say about her and we eventually got married. Her parents told us about me and she agreed! Here we are now, I am a 28 year old dad of two young boys and I could not ask for a better wife. To be honest I do miss some things I can discuss with a wife that grew up here, like a bunch of pop culture, in depth movie analysis, video games. What she lacks in those interests she makes up in being an amazing mom, an excellent cook and someone who is loyal and very caring. If I could go back I would make the same decision.

Lastly, I know of many who've had an 'arranged marriage' and they're so happily married, as oppose to those who had 'love marriages' so I will definitely be following in the footsteps of all that I know who are happily married, via an arranged marriage.
Original post by AnonThamizhan
Love marriage" is the way of the westerners, nearly everyone in America and England and other Western countries have this 'Love marriage' but then when you look at the divorce rates in these countries, it speaks volumes. 8 out of 10 marriages in England fail, or end in a divorce. What about the statistics of those who've been unfaithful, over 50% of people who use dating ads in America are already married. Lol. what about the many 'Married' men who are "allegedly" 'in love' with their wives' yet have mistresses' on the side. All of these people have had this so called 'love marriage?' what happened to the love. Now I'm not saying all this doesn't happen in the Eastern world, but the majority of Easterners live a long happily married life, and I'm sure nearly all of you Easterns can vouch for that. (Look at your parents)

The best part of marriage is getting to know one another even better. Yes one must also get to know their partners before marrying, but to an extent, then you have so much to look forward to when marrying. But if you've "allegedly" fallen in love prior to a marriage, then really you have nothing to look forward to. It takes the buzz out of marriage. Sometimes, when people do fall in love prior to a marriage, they might not even end up with eachother. And that's the reason so few people are capable of intimacy today, because that spiritual centre of union with another person has been scattered in bits and pieces all over their previous partner's lives. It's one of the great logical reasons why Islam has prohibited all pre-marital relationships. This is where the Western world is going wrong.

I married a 18 Sri Lankan Tamil year old virgin - and she's been trying to make up for lost time ever since. Her motor's always running! (Bless her heart.)

Barcode .I have had with sex with all my British girlsfriends me think that all girls were hoes here. Which was a terrible mentality but it is what eventually led me to “choose” My wife from the same town.

Not it was not arranged in the sense of looking through books of pictures and picking out a prize.She was the most beautiful girl I have seen there. After my 25st birthday I asked my mom what to do . My mom of course was extremely proud that I was continuing with tradition both in culture and in religion. They a complete background search on her to see if her past is not shady. No one had anything bad to say about her and we eventually got married. Her parents told us about me and she agreed! Here we are now, I am a 28 year old dad of two young boys and I could not ask for a better wife. To be honest I do miss some things I can discuss with a wife that grew up here, like a bunch of pop culture, in depth movie analysis, video games. What she lacks in those interests she makes up in being an amazing mom, an excellent cook and someone who is loyal and very caring. If I could go back I would make the same decision.

Lastly, I know of many who've had an 'arranged marriage' and they're so happily married, as oppose to those who had 'love marriages' so I will definitely be following in the footsteps of all that I know who are happily married, via an arranged marriage.


Just to let you know, I stopped reading after you dropped the rubbish about 80% of marriages ending in divorce.
I've seen success and failure in both love and arrange marriages. I won't say if one is better than the other. They both can work for life or end up in a divorce shortly afterwards.
To be fair, you need to see which marriages are happy, not which marriage has the lowest divorce rate. I can name a number of arranged marriages who's relationship is down the pan because they never really got along in the first place, and the only reason they are still together is because it's "shameful" to divorce.
i been married twice - arranged first and love second. first marriage lasted 4 years second - still going :h: . first husband was having affair before and during our marriage. second husband i met on a blind date . we make it work

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