Leaving my boyfriend/family Watch

redhead25
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I have now accepted an unconditional offer for a uni which is a 20 minute train ride away from my home town. Last Monday I booked the accommodation and have already been looking into buying things for my flat.

I'm starting to panic about leaving my family, but especially my boyfriend. By the time I go I will have been with him for 4 years. He's amazing and I never want to lose him. He is encouraging me to still go to uni, but I've seen him everyday for the 3 and a half years which we have been together so uni will be a massive step for me.

If we ended up splitting up because of uni, I would never forgive myself. He reassures me we won't, but I don't know what might happen.

I'm a fairly quiet person and I don't see myself socialising much at uni, and he is exactly like me. We have said one weekend he would come to me and the next, I would come home.

However, now I'm unsure whether to pull out of the accommodation and live at home. I would rather spend my loan on a yearly train pass than lose what I've got with my boyfriend. The 'uni experience' doesn't excite me, but the studying does, and I worry if I stay at home I might not get as much work done as I might if I live away.

What should I do? I'm really anxious and nervous about the future. I just wish I could know what will happen if I go. I understand our relationship will change considerably, but I don't know if I want to take the risk.

Any advice would be helpful.
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shawn_o1
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I think it makes no difference where you live during your uni term, tbh from what you've described maybe staying at home and doing the commute five days a week (or less) would be better.
(My commute to uni and back takes much longer than yours would, and I'm in my third year)
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Richpeasant
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A twenty minute train drive is nothing, you say the whole socialising thing isn't your type of thing but you don't know until you try, I would stay with the accommodation you two don't have to stick to eachother like leaches. Your grades would probably be better staying at uni since you and him won't be spending time together constantly, he's already stated to you that it won't break you up, so what's the problem there? If it was a good 2 hour train journey its a different story but for a 20 minute commute there shouldn't be no need to worry, personally I would stay at the accommodation but it's down to you, good luck with what ever way you go about it 😄


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Klix88
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I've had boyfriends in the same town as me who lived more than twenty minutes' walk/bus ride away. We'd see each other every evening. I've had commutes to work in the same town which took an hour each way, and I did that five days a week. Twenty minutes is nothing and easily done for weekday evenings if you feel the need, as well as for weekends.

Your boyfriend has said that it's no bother, and frankly it isn't. It's twenty minutes, not two hundred miles. It probably seems like a huge deal if you've never lived away from home before. Once you've done the return trip a couple of times, you'll see that it's absolutely nothing.
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emski
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20 mins on the train??? YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I know there will be people saying their journey is 5+ hours, but for me the 2-3 hours is way too much!
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Jackieox
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My boyfriend is 150 miles on the train while I'm at uni and we make it work. Besides 20 minutes is nothing! You'll be fine =)


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Helloworld_95
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I'd say stay at home, a decent chunk of surviving at uni is the social aspect and having a boyfriend who you visit often/going home often really doesn't help with that, it can also make homesickness a bit worse.
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daryZ
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Well, 20 minutes is literally nothing, there would be no difference in either way. If you stay at home you will spend 20mins to go to uni, if you stay in accomodation you will spend 20mins to go to your boyfriend's. I see no harm to relationship at all.

There are people in worse situations. My favourite uni is 4+ hours away. I would meet my girlfriend only couple times a month.
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SiminaM
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LOL I'll be leaving my country and move thousands of miles away from home & anything familiar to me.
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TattyBoJangles
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20 minutes by train isn't a lot! You'll easily be able to nip over and see your boyfriend / he'll be able to do the same.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, currently in our third year of long-distance. He's a 7-hour train journey away and we see each other every other weekend and it's all going swimmingly - he's graduating this year and he's going to move up here and live with me.

Your boyfriend will have to know that you won't be free all the time / as much as before but there's no reason it should damage your relationship..
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