The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

I can't get over my holiday lover

First, I know the complications with long distance relationships etc, I always knew that. I will try and keep this short, because I really do want some responses and someone to read this.

A year ago, while on holiday, I met a guy, who worked in tourism. He chased me, I thought of him as a friend, then something more, etc etc. I came home, we skyped everyday, you know the drill. I went out there again to see him two months later, in April, and things got more serious.

I went home, we still talked everyday, he considered me his girlfriend. We talked about me going out there and working when I finished uni in July last year. However, things went pear shaped in June- his friends started telling me that he was picking up other girls. I asked him about it, he went nuts, he ended things, blocked me etc. And said it was because I trusted others over him.

I was upset, obviously. But, he unblocked me after a week and would start sending me messages, which were friendly, nothing more. But, I saw there were a lot of pictures on social media of him with other female tourists. I figured he had moved on, and our romance was over. A month later, I was lonely, hasn't been out with any boys in months, and slept with my ex boyfriend here in the UK (don't judge me- this ex had been my boyfriend for four years and I needed some comfort).

In August, he, the long distance ex, talked to me a bit more than normal. He said he was in hard days, with little work. He said he had no money, his friend moved out, he couldn't pay the rent. Day by day it got worse, and then he directly asked me for money. First £500, then £200. Then one night he said if he didn't get money that night, he would have to move back home, and I would not be able to see him again at all. So I gave him £150. Then, he said that he couldn't rent an apartment that night, so he went home anyway for a vacation.

Then, he started to talk to me more, and say the kind of things he used to say. He said he loved me, and that he wanted to be with me. I was won over again. He asked me to go there, to work, ASAP but I had just signed up to do a 3 month course here in the UK. He said ok, I will wait 3 months.

Three weeks later, there were a lot of pictures on Facebook of him with an English friend he has- a girl. His friend sent me a message saying that they were living together in the same place that I stayed with him. I asked him, he said no, she is a friend and said 'I see that you will never change. You will always be crazy and jealous'.

About a week after this he broke up with me, he said we could only be friends, until I come and live with him in two months.

10 days after that, he said he had a girlfriend now, and it was that girl. He said they got together six days ago, and she lived with him. He said he did nothing wrong, and that it was me who was 'disgusting' because I slept with my ex in the summer (when we had broken up). He said I didn't deserve a nice guy, and my actions showed him that I was not the girl he wanted.

That was in October, I felt awful, for months. I asked for my money back, he said he had no money, but he would give it to my Dad, who is on holiday there now. He hasn't. I messaged him and asked, he said he isn't in town at the moment. He said he had no money, and that I shouldn't ask for the money back because he spent cash on me while I was out there- which he didn't, all he got me was a few bottles of water. Judging by the English in the messages, I think his girlfriend wrote them. He said that he never meant to hurt me, and that he thinks I am just trying to get the money back as revenge for how much it hurt me. He said that he got over me a long time ago, but if I need the money to move on, he will try and get it to me in the summer.

I feel pathetic, it has been months, but I still feel desperately upset. I miss him sometimes, but feel so sad for how he hurt me. I often blame myself. I think maybe it was because of me. I think maybe it was what I did, or maybe it is something else to do with me personally. I have seen pictures of him and his girlfriend and they look so happy, which makes me feel worse because my life isn't happy at all right now. He has forgotten me, so why can't I forget? He made me think he loved me, he spoke of more serious things too like marriage, but he forgot me so quickly. Any advice at all, would be appreciated.
Kick that bitch to the kerb! You deserve better than that. Cut your losses and run!
Original post by Izzyeviel
Kick that bitch to the kerb! You deserve better than that. Cut your losses and run!


Precisely this. It's not worth associating with people like that in order to recover money or to try and rekindle a potential relationship. Take the lessons you've learned and never, ever go back there
He sounds absolutely vile and utterly untrustworthy.

I'm sorry you have got hurt so bad.

My advice would be to not chase the money to find some sort of closure. He wont give it to you, and as such, you'll never truly move on from him.

Stop following him on social media, etc. Just cut contact. Its hard, i know. But you need to heal away from him.

Best wishes.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you