The opposite of charismaWatch
The worst thing is that the efforts ive made to fit in have all made the situation infinitely worse to the point where ive just gone from place to place leaving great rents in the social fabric.
I dont enjoy socialising but that's because of this pattern of broken relationships burnt bridges and social exiles. Im just exhausted by the idea of doing stuff with people which of course makes me even more isolated.
Ive pretty much cried myself out on the issue and now all that's left to feel is the sense of futility. Im trying to understand what is so off putting about me. Im not disfigured and im incredibly polite so it must be the total sum of all my weird Asperger traits except I dont know anyone at all who has this same problem.