I feel like an outcast-Muslim Girl

hi,
I am a Muslim girl- which is where my problems stem from. I go to an all girls school which is linked to a nearby boys' school. All my friends interact with boys and have a group chat with them. I feel that as a Muslim that it would not be appropriate to join it which has led to me being excluded from my group of friends. They all pressured me to join but I didn't as I thought it was against my principles. That happened at the beginning of the year. Since then they have had many social gatherings- mixed and girls' only but I have not been invited to any of them but they have planned right in front of me. I feel miserable as I feel I'm not really their friend but I have no idea what else I could do. If there are those saying join another group of Muslim girls who are like minded as boys are pretty much on every girl's mind in my year no matter how much I try to escape it.

Reply 1

username1749779

9

It doesnt matters how many friends you have. But what matters is doing the right thing, which you are doing. Allah is watching and inshAllah you will find some good friends in time. But this doesnt means to just give up and do what ever everyone else is doing which is not right. Believe in your self and try to find some friends like you. I'm sure you will inshAllah, it just needs some time.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

hi,
I am a Muslim girl- which is where my problems stem from. I go to an all girls school which is linked to a nearby boys' school. All my friends interact with boys and have a group chat with them. I feel that as a Muslim that it would not be appropriate to join it which has led to me being excluded from my group of friends. They all pressured me to join but I didn't as I thought it was against my principles. That happened at the beginning of the year. Since ththey have had many social gatherings- mixed and girls' only but I have not been invited to any of them but they have planned right in front of me. I feel miserable as I feel I'm not really their friend but I have no idea what else I could do. If there are those saying join another group of Muslim girls who are like minded as boys are pretty much on every girl's mind in my year no matter how much I try to escape it.

Salaam alaikum, first of all, how could your problems start because you are muslim? Because you are a person who submits to only one god and worships only one god? I am sure this isnt even a problem, rather than a teenager issue. There is no wrong in being friends and speaking to the opposite gender, just remember that the conversation has to have good intentions. If you cant lower your gaze then you should avoid it. But rewarding your 'friends', they really arent your friends. If a friend doesnt remind you of Allah SWT then that person is no of benefit for you. Darling, you have better things to concentrate on! Your education, and your religion! Get with other group of girls, or be friends with older muslim girls, it will help you mature!
May Allah make easy for you inshaAllah

Reply 3

Spongebob'sPants

14

My answer is not related or link to religion.

Always stick to YOUR principles and what you believe. Don't change for others.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Stop letting your life be dictated by some ridiculous fairly tales somebody made up in a book hundreds of years ago. What point is there in living if you don't actually do anything whilst you're alive (and particularly while you are young)?

Reply 5

Ssskinz

17

"The World is the Prison of the Believer and Heaven for the Kafir"

Reply 6

Skip_Snip

3

Regardless of what you believe in, feeling lonely is obviously bothering you; otherwise, you wouldn't have started this thread and use emotive words like "outcast". Socialise with whoever you want, it's not a sin to have friends.

Reply 7

Plantagenet Crown

20

I'm not Muslim and even though I think that not mixing with the opposite gender is silly, if they're your principles then stick to them.

Reply 8

al_94

14

I think the solution is very simple. Find better friends.

Reply 9

Khodu

19

Hi OP, it's beautiful to see that you sticking to your principles, you will get so much reward for it. I know friendship means so much right now, but as you grow you'll realise friendship isn't as important as you think it is. In sha Allah it gets better, I would be proud to call you my little sister or daughter. :hugs:

PM me anytime you wanna have a chat xx

Reply 10

HandmadeTurnip

17

Original post by al_94

I think the solution is very simple. Find better friends.

I don't see how you can place any blame on the friends in this situation.

Reply 11

al_94

14

Original post by HandmadeTurnip

I don't see how you can place any blame on the friends in this situation.

She says her friends are putting peer pressure on her to do something she believes is wrong. Are those good friends in your eyes? I would prefer to have friends that respect my choice.

Reply 12

Kolby

1

Assalamu'alaykum Heyyy we be on the same boat cept that I found to be in that situation(well it's kinda similar in my high school years. Yea I'm probably not the best person give advise but I can tell you are in the correct path Insha'Allah. Also if they are your friends then they should know better not to say those things in front of you or at least avoid doing so as it may hurt ya feelings.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you all for your comments- I am a strong believer in Islam it is just is has become hard to have people who you consider friends, not consider you as a friend. Thank you for your advice!

Reply 14

username1749779

9

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you all for your comments- I am a strong believer in Islam it is just is has become hard to have people who you consider friends, not consider you as a friend. Thank you for your advice!

Stay strong and keep moving on the right path and keep making us proud. I'm really happy to know someone like you. :smile:

Reply 15

Mankytoes

10

Original post by al_94

She says her friends are putting peer pressure on her to do something she believes is wrong. Are those good friends in your eyes? I would prefer to have friends that respect my choice.

She complained they pressured her to join in, then when they didn't ask her. It's hard to see what they have done wrong- how are they supposed to know what she believes? I've met many Muslim girls who are happy to have a friendly chat with me. It seems they are damned if they do, damned if they don't- invite her and they are guilty of peer pressure, don't invite her and they are guilty of excluding her. Sadly, it seems like he's excluded herself because of religious belief.

Reply 16

HandmadeTurnip

17

Original post by al_94

She says her friends are putting peer pressure on her to do something she believes is wrong. Are those good friends in your eyes? I would prefer to have friends that respect my choice.

Initially, yes, but they've since accepted her position and have stopped inviting her. I interpreted the "pressured" part as them just briefly encouraging her to join in before realising she really didn't want to, but if it was more aggressive and prolonged than that then true, they're not great friends. Even so, they still wouldn't be entirely to blame.

Reply 17

Gnomes&Knights

20

Why on Earth would you think you are an outcast? You have friends and if they're are pressurising you to do something wrong then you should explain to them and I'm sure they will understand. Its not like they will write you off just because you don't want to do something that goes against your faith.

Reply 18

Noura*

10

Original post by Anonymous

hi,
I am a Muslim girl- which is where my problems stem from. I go to an all girls school which is linked to a nearby boys' school. All my friends interact with boys and have a group chat with them. I feel that as a Muslim that it would not be appropriate to join it which has led to me being excluded from my group of friends. They all pressured me to join but I didn't as I thought it was against my principles. That happened at the beginning of the year. Since then they have had many social gatherings- mixed and girls' only but I have not been invited to any of them but they have planned right in front of me. I feel miserable as I feel I'm not really their friend but I have no idea what else I could do. If there are those saying join another group of Muslim girls who are like minded as boys are pretty much on every girl's mind in my year no matter how much I try to escape it.

Salaam sis,
I know how you feel- I've been there. Let me tell you that these years are tough, be strong and don't give in, and if you do this you'll come out of the other end as a strong person who won't be affected by any peer pressure after that. However if you do give in, you will be someone who will always follow their friends and you will have no identity. Be yourself and don't be afraid of what people think. People will even start to respect you after a while- it's not so common to be yourself nowadays. All the best!

Reply 19

AnharM

21

Original post by Anonymous

hi,
I am a Muslim girl- which is where my problems stem from. I go to an all girls school which is linked to a nearby boys' school. All my friends interact with boys and have a group chat with them. I feel that as a Muslim that it would not be appropriate to join it which has led to me being excluded from my group of friends. They all pressured me to join but I didn't as I thought it was against my principles. That happened at the beginning of the year. Since then they have had many social gatherings- mixed and girls' only but I have not been invited to any of them but they have planned right in front of me. I feel miserable as I feel I'm not really their friend but I have no idea what else I could do. If there are those saying join another group of Muslim girls who are like minded as boys are pretty much on every girl's mind in my year no matter how much I try to escape it.

I know it's wrong to talk to guys in Islam, but honestly, you can just be friends with them, I'm sure Allah will understand the reasoning behind why you need to join the group. It isn't helping you socially, and your intentions are solely based on having friends, and not boyfriends, so I'm sure He will understand.

You will have to talk to guys in the future anyways, either at university or in the workplace. Living in the UK is very different to living in Saudi Arabia, and I'm sure Allah will understand that.

I feel like an outcast-Muslim Girl

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