Online dating: what's an instant "no"?
So I'm dipping my toe into online dating, not expecting much but meeting some lovely people (and some very strange ones too).
I'm an averagely-ok-looking girl so, as seems to be par for the course for anyone with boobs, I get quite a few messages. Not loads, but too many to be faffed replying to on a weekday evening, anyway.
So, boys and girls, what are your culling strategies?
I'll go first:
1) Only has pictures of cars.
2) Sends a first message saying "hey babez" or worse, just "hi".
Go!
I'm an averagely-ok-looking girl so, as seems to be par for the course for anyone with boobs, I get quite a few messages. Not loads, but too many to be faffed replying to on a weekday evening, anyway.
So, boys and girls, what are your culling strategies?
I'll go first:
1) Only has pictures of cars.
2) Sends a first message saying "hey babez" or worse, just "hi".
Go!
Scroll to see replies
Smoking, doing drugs, being poly.
Sending a picture of his genitals as an opening gambit is an instant no.
One selfie, obviously taken in the bathroom mirror. It gives the impression you can't find one photo of yourself doing something fun, or you can't get a friend to at least take your picture.
To be fair, that's not so much an instant "no" unless coupled with a generic one-line profile.
To be fair, that's not so much an instant "no" unless coupled with a generic one-line profile.
Original post by cole-slaw
Someone with an online dating account
Heh
Try being a straight woman working 12 hour days in Psychology and see how many potential partners you can find. It's like Where's Wally if Wally's bogged off for a fag.
Original post by PangXie
Heh
Try being a straight woman working 12 hour days in Psychology and see how many potential partners you can find. It's like Where's Wally if Wally's bogged off for a fag.
Try being a straight woman working 12 hour days in Psychology and see how many potential partners you can find. It's like Where's Wally if Wally's bogged off for a fag.
Make friends with a guy who does physics or mechanical engineering.
Organise a joint social. Everyone is a winner.
Original post by cole-slaw
Make friends with a guy who does physics or mechanical engineering.
Organise a joint social. Everyone is a winner.
Organise a joint social. Everyone is a winner.
I'm not at uni at the moment unfortunately, I'm working. An idea for next year though!
Original post by Quantex
Sending a picture of his genitals as an opening gambit is an instant no.
Agreed. And unfortunately, as of this evening, I can add "posts unrequested pictures of his bum" to the "no" pile.
Original post by PangXie
One selfie, obviously taken in the bathroom mirror. It gives the impression you can't find one photo of yourself doing something fun, or you can't get a friend to at least take your picture.
To be fair, that's not so much an instant "no" unless coupled with a generic one-line profile.
To be fair, that's not so much an instant "no" unless coupled with a generic one-line profile.
What if you're too busy having fun to stop and take photos etc?
Someone wanting kids...
Spelling...dear lord have mercy on my soul. If your spelling is atrocious it won't work out. If you're dyslexic that's cool, that's completely different.
Attitude/ aggressive profile. You know the ones, 'don't message me if...' blah blah blah. We know you don't want a weirdo no one does so don't write it down. If they're weird they're not going to bloody read that anyway, they'll message you regardless.
Talking about exes...'I've been cheated on, he left me for a squirrel and I'm heartbroken'... okay well when you're emotionally ready to date we can talk.
Duck faces/pouting. Self explanatory. That is an instant no. Even if someone messaged me I'd have to ignore it...I just can't.
No effort in profile. 'I don't know what to say, message me and find out' or 'can't be asked, message me'. Yeah..No. Next If you can't even be bothered at this stage to even write a couple sentences then you're not worth the time.
Dodgy photos.< This usually followed by 'Want to be treated with respect for a change' ...Um, not looking like that you won't! I can see what you've had for breakfast! Put some damn clothes on.
Message me and I'll reply...Then you get no reply...
Last but not least. When (depending on the site) in the dating bit they say 'you're the man - you decide. Have to be special to impress me'. Yeah...no. I understand some guys like to plan everything but you know what? When I'm meeting you for the FIRST time I'd rather make it a mutual decision, I don't mind planning it after I get to know you and what you'd like.
I give up on dating sites altogether and have not used one in a while and I'm only going back if by the time I'm 35 I have no one.
Spelling...dear lord have mercy on my soul. If your spelling is atrocious it won't work out. If you're dyslexic that's cool, that's completely different.
Attitude/ aggressive profile. You know the ones, 'don't message me if...' blah blah blah. We know you don't want a weirdo no one does so don't write it down. If they're weird they're not going to bloody read that anyway, they'll message you regardless.
Talking about exes...'I've been cheated on, he left me for a squirrel and I'm heartbroken'... okay well when you're emotionally ready to date we can talk.
Duck faces/pouting. Self explanatory. That is an instant no. Even if someone messaged me I'd have to ignore it...I just can't.
No effort in profile. 'I don't know what to say, message me and find out' or 'can't be asked, message me'. Yeah..No. Next If you can't even be bothered at this stage to even write a couple sentences then you're not worth the time.
Dodgy photos.< This usually followed by 'Want to be treated with respect for a change' ...Um, not looking like that you won't! I can see what you've had for breakfast! Put some damn clothes on.
Message me and I'll reply...Then you get no reply...
Last but not least. When (depending on the site) in the dating bit they say 'you're the man - you decide. Have to be special to impress me'. Yeah...no. I understand some guys like to plan everything but you know what? When I'm meeting you for the FIRST time I'd rather make it a mutual decision, I don't mind planning it after I get to know you and what you'd like.
I give up on dating sites altogether and have not used one in a while and I'm only going back if by the time I'm 35 I have no one.
Original post by cole-slaw
Make friends with a guy who does physics or mechanical engineering.
Organise a joint social. Everyone is a winner.
Organise a joint social. Everyone is a winner.
Why specify physics and mechanical engineering? What about the other engineers?
Posted from TSR Mobile
"hey how's u lol"
Original post by MagicNMedicine
"hey how's u lol"
If I see "lol" anywhere in their profile/message.
Original post by PangXie
Agreed. And unfortunately, as of this evening, I can add "posts unrequested pictures of his bum" to the "no" pile.
What if you like the picture of his bum/genitals? What then?
Never lie about your ethnicity
Original post by Stewie2011
What if you like the picture of his bum/genitals? What then?
Nobody likes that. And even if it looks nice, what sort of person that would be to form a relationship with?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Stewie2011
What if you like the picture of his bum/genitals? What then?
Speaking for my gender...bums can be good, unrequested bums rarely so. It's one of the lesser known differences between men and women.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by PangXie
Speaking for my gender...bums can be good, unrequested bums rarely so. It's one of the lesser known differences between men and women.
Ah, so in other words women have a kind of conservative line which men will be looked upon adversely if crossed? How sensitive are they on this?
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