Coping with depression during AS Levels - College Watch

ElliotRobinson1
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Hi everyone,

Around January, I started to become depressed and started worrying I was going to fail my AS levels - as everything started to plummet with my depression. I work hard, and do try my best. My predicted grades are B/Cs but i'm not convinced i have what it takes to get even that. I would hate to retake a year - and want to pull myself together but i cannot. I'm not a failure - i got very nearly 100% in my chemistry practical and i am aiming to get 100% in my coursework for biology/media. I just have no confidence and believe i'm different to everyone else and that i have it harder - even though i don't. I am taking AS chemistry, maths, media studies, and biology (i hate biology because i'm bad with names).

Please share your experience etc. if you're going through the same thing as me - it would really help.

E.
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Hi,

I'm in the middle of my A2 exams and last Friday my GP referred me to the city's Mental Health Unit.

For the past 2 years, my mental health has spiralled down crazily and it has now started to affect my schoolwork. I'm an A student, really, and I've been hitting Bs all year which caused my English teachers to worry. I sit in class and constantly think about how pointless life is and I feel empty. So empty. I've lost interest in everything, I don't sleep well, I don't concentrate, I think about death quite a lot. Too much in fact.

(I'm from Northern Ireland, I go to a high achieving grammar school (who constantly top the NI tables; except this year's A Level tables, which has made them up the pressure on us all, horribly.) )

Please, please, please, if it gets worse, talk to someone. Don't be an idiot like me and leave it, and believe that it'll go away. It won't. Trust me, I've been struggling since I was 14, and I'm turning 19 in October, and I'm ONLY getting the help I badly need.

Cesca.
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EllainKahlo
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Please talk to someone, all colleges have someone that you can talk to, perhaps a counsellor. It will help. The only way I deal with my depression is to think of the future and what things I will be able to do once I get this year over and done with. Try going out with your mates, pick up a side hobby like reading or painting, even it's only for 30 mins a day. I know how it feels to feel as though everyone else is coping and you're not. Do you have any friends you could confide in?
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by EllainKahlo)
Please talk to someone, all colleges have someone that you can talk to, perhaps a counsellor. It will help. The only way I deal with my depression is to think of the future and what things I will be able to do once I get this year over and done with. Try going out with your mates, pick up a side hobby like reading or painting, even it's only for 30 mins a day. I know how it feels to feel as though everyone else is coping and you're not. Do you have any friends you could confide in?
I have a strong group of boys and girls in my friend group who know i find life difficult - but most people get annoyed if you constantly go on about your problems as they find it hard to understand. My main problem is liking myself - i put myself down before i've even tried. Medication did not work as well - it actually made me worse. i also spoke to a counsellor and i didn't find it helped that much.
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by CescaD96)
Hi,

I'm in the middle of my A2 exams and last Friday my GP referred me to the city's Mental Health Unit.

For the past 2 years, my mental health has spiralled down crazily and it has now started to affect my schoolwork. I'm an A student, really, and I've been hitting Bs all year which caused my English teachers to worry. I sit in class and constantly think about how pointless life is and I feel empty. So empty. I've lost interest in everything, I don't sleep well, I don't concentrate, I think about death quite a lot. Too much in fact.

(I'm from Northern Ireland, I go to a high achieving grammar school (who constantly top the NI tables; except this year's A Level tables, which has made them up the pressure on us all, horribly.) )

Please, please, please, if it gets worse, talk to someone. Don't be an idiot like me and leave it, and believe that it'll go away. It won't. Trust me, I've been struggling since I was 14, and I'm turning 19 in October, and I'm ONLY getting the help I badly need.

Cesca.
thank you for your reply and i'm sorry you feel like that. I am trying my best to solve it - speaking to family/some friends, but i almost feel like no one can help me and it's something i need to solve - i just don't know how yet.

Elliot
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EllainKahlo
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(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
I have a strong group of boys and girls in my friend group who know i find life difficult - but most people get annoyed if you constantly go on about your problems as they find it hard to understand. My main problem is liking myself - i put myself down before i've even tried. Medication did not work as well - it actually made me worse. i also spoke to a counsellor and i didn't find it helped that much.
I can sympathise, I did not like medication either. What things are you good at? What things do you enjoy?
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German123
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(Original post by CescaD96)
Hi,

I'm in the middle of my A2 exams and last Friday my GP referred me to the city's Mental Health Unit.

For the past 2 years, my mental health has spiralled down crazily and it has now started to affect my schoolwork. I'm an A student, really, and I've been hitting Bs all year which caused my English teachers to worry. I sit in class and constantly think about how pointless life is and I feel empty. So empty. I've lost interest in everything, I don't sleep well, I don't concentrate, I think about death quite a lot. Too much in fact.

(I'm from Northern Ireland, I go to a high achieving grammar school (who constantly top the NI tables; except this year's A Level tables, which has made them up the pressure on us all, horribly.) )

Please, please, please, if it gets worse, talk to someone. Don't be an idiot like me and leave it, and believe that it'll go away. It won't. Trust me, I've been struggling since I was 14, and I'm turning 19 in October, and I'm ONLY getting the help I badly need.

Cesca.
"When you determine what you want, you have made the most important decision of your life. You have to know what you want in order to attain it."- Douglas Lurton.
"With hard work there is no obstacle"-Fegan
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by EllainKahlo)
I can sympathise, I did not like medication either. What things are you good at? What things do you enjoy?
I'm good at maths and i'm good at chemistry when i work hard. And with media studies i'm good at the editing and filming coursework part because i enjoy it, but the english involving exam isn't my cup of tea. It's just my confidence which is the issue - i don't think i'm good enough or even will be good enough for the exams - i have it in my head there isn't enough time, even with the long easter holiday.
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(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
thank you for your reply and i'm sorry you feel like that. I am trying my best to solve it - speaking to family/some friends, but i almost feel like no one can help me and it's something i need to solve - i just don't know how yet.

Elliot
I know exactly how you feel. But really, go to your GP if you feel like you don't know what to do. I don't particularly like myself either and I have been to counselling once but I'm willing to try it again. Don't dismiss anything until you've exhausted all aspects of it.
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EllainKahlo
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(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
I'm good at maths and i'm good at chemistry when i work hard. And with media studies i'm good at the editing and filming coursework part because i enjoy it, but the english involving exam isn't my cup of tea. It's just my confidence which is the issue - i don't think i'm good enough or even will be good enough for the exams - i have it in my head there isn't enough time, even with the long easter holiday.
I understand, I really do. And there's no easy answer to solving these feelings. The only way I've ever been able to make myself feel better with those kinds of thoughts is to be big-headed about the things I'm good at which I guess then levels out my disappointments in myself. i.e. "I may suck at this one subject, but I'm still the best at this other subject, hands-down." I don't know if this'll work for you but maybe focusing on the aspects of what you do well can help you increase your confidence. Have you been practicing past-papers? They always make me feel better once I get my teachers to mark them, since then I know where I stand.
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by CescaD96)
I know exactly how you feel. But really, go to your GP if you feel like you don't know what to do. I don't particularly like myself either and I have been to counselling once but I'm willing to try it again. Don't dismiss anything until you've exhausted all aspects of it.
I went to my gp and they gave me anti-depressants. But they didn't help me - they actually made me a lot worse.
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(Original post by German123)
"When you determine what you want, you have made the most important decision of your life. You have to know what you want in order to attain it."- Douglas Lurton.
"With hard work there is no obstacle"-Fegan
While these quotes may be inspirational to others, due to my current thoughts, they're are not, sadly. My feelings completely override them.
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by EllainKahlo)
I understand, I really do. And there's no easy answer to solving these feelings. The only way I've ever been able to make myself feel better with those kinds of thoughts is to be big-headed about the things I'm good at which I guess then levels out my disappointments in myself. i.e. "I may suck at this one subject, but I'm still the best at this other subject, hands-down." I don't know if this'll work for you but maybe focusing on the aspects of what you do well can help you increase your confidence. Have you been practicing past-papers? They always make me feel better once I get my teachers to mark them, since then I know where I stand.
yes i find maths and chemistry past papers very helpful because they go over everything, but with biology i don't even enjoy it so it doesn't help. And i don't feel as if i even know the content.

Did you do as levels? How did you cope and also did you have enough time to consolidate everything from now to the exams (are easter holidays long enough etc.)?
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(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
I went to my gp and they gave me anti-depressants. But they didn't help me - they actually made me a lot worse.
Have you actually been medically diagnosed with depression?
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by CescaD96)
Have you actually been medically diagnosed with depression?
Yes, and my doctor gave me anti-depressants (beta blocker sort of things).
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ElliotRobinson1
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(Original post by CescaD96)
While these quotes may be inspirational to others, due to my current thoughts, they're are not, sadly. My feelings completely override them.
it's not true, i work hard and have a lot of obstacles.
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Dinaa
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tbh i feel the exact same way
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(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
it's not true, i work hard and have a lot of obstacles.
I'm talking about myself personally. Yes, I work hard, and I have university offers, yes I have obstacles and yeah I do know what I want to do kinda in life and yet I sit and think about the pointlessness of life and how we all die, how terrified I am of dying, I think about self harming but I never do. I wonder about the point of caring about anything anymore. This is why the quotes have been overrode by what I'm feeling and this is why I've been referred by my GP.


(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
Yes, and my doctor gave me anti-depressants (beta blocker sort of things).
And that's all they done? I suggest a change in GP.
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Dinaa
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k
(Original post by ElliotRobinson1)
Yes, and my doctor gave me anti-depressants (beta blocker sort of things).
lmao are you my twin ? :lolwut:
beta blockers arent for depression really. Mainly Panic disorder or one who suffers from heart palpitations. I was giben beta blovkers but they are useless imo.

You need to change the way you think ,honestly because what youre saying, i cab relate to. I'm better now though, because I am thinking optimistically, but i have started to ptocrastinate awfully :cry2:

goodluck
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luna.lovegood
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Have you talked to your teachers about how you're feeling and that you're struggling with your confidence? I think that might help - I felt the same as you while doing my AS levels last year and after telling the teachers that I was struggling to cope and that I felt like I was going to fail they supported me a lot more, such as giving me extra help during free lessons and giving me a bit of a pep talk when I needed it
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