I just don't know what to do anymore

Ok, I apologise for the depressing nature of this thread but I really need to get this out before I go mad! I suffer from depression, and am currently in my first year at uni. I'm a long way from home, so going home is near impossible over the weekend as it's 1) very very exprensive and 2) too hard to arrange around the way my lectures/seminars are arranged on a Monday and Friday. I am so homesick at the moment, depression has come back so am feeling pretty down and I have two essays due in in the next two weeks and am finding them impossible. I can't do them, and everytime I try, I end up sitting looking at my computer with my brain going dead. I've tried going to the library to do it, I've tried doing it in my room, I've tried doing it in the main social area of the uni to do it, I've tried the open access computer rooms to do it. Nowhere is helping, I just feel so low that I can't get down to anything. It's so easy for me to just stay in bed all day, but I've had to force myself to get up to go to the compulsory seminars and the vast majority of my lectures but I don't understand most of what's being talked about. I'm almost constantly close to tears and am contemplating doing something silly just to get myself out of this. I know I am leaving at the end of the academic year to pursue a course that will give me the practical side I am looking for, but I just don't know how I'm going to get there. Sorry for the long thread, I just needed to tell people this, even if I don't know them and they don't know me. I'm sorry :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hi.

If your depression is not yet diagnosed, get yourself to a doctor! If it is, your university will likely be very understanding in terms of flexibility of deadlines etc so you have no need to worry so much on that front. I'd recommend you go and see some of the student support people at uni whatever your situation currently is.

Good luck. I hope things work out

xox

Reply 2

Sazarina88

So you have two main problems; 1) missing home 2) work.

1) What ways have you looked into about getting home? How do you keep in touch with home? I'm only an hour away from my Mum but txt her quite regularly, have video calls with her on MSN sometimes too. If you're looking at trains then the prices probably are quite expensive. If you book far enough in advance the prices may be cheaper, have a look at dates in a few months. If this is no good, try National Express or Megabus for buses and see if they go to your home town/city.

2) If you don't understand the work/can't write the essays, it's not going to make much difference as to where you're trying to study. You're missing the obvious thing - you need to understand the work. Go and talk to your lecturers or send them an email. If you don't understand now then you'll just fall further behind. There is support available for you at university, don't be afraid to use it.

Reply 3

vixky!

aw i'm so sorry you're feeling like this. first of all - DON'T APOLOGISE! it is in no way your fault that you are depressed and are finding it hard to work.

what course are you doing now and what course do you want to do next year? is it really necessary that you stay on this current course to get to the more practical course? if not, maybe you should consider whether you will really benefit from staying on.

if you need to do it, then we need to try and make it work for you! first of all, are you enjoying the course or do you hate it? if you're not enjoying it, then in my opinion, there's no much point doing something because you won't be putting in the effort that you are capable of.

do you have many friends at uni? maybe getting out and doing something for a while will allow you to feel better about your essays. if you're feeling upset and putting too much pressure on yourself, it won't help! even if you've found it hard to socialise, even just going for a walk or shopping or anything that you enjoy alone will help! or even just reading a magazine for a couple of hours in bed or watching tv. just ANYTHING that makes you feel good!

also, try not to put so much pressure on yourself. you're not alone, there are loads of other people in your uni that are finding it hard for one reason or another. and if you don't manage to do it or don't do it very well - so what? you can do it again. you can learn from it. it's not the end of the world! maybe even post on TSR to get some ideas!

lastly, try to remember why you're there. you're at uni for a reason. it's supposed to be enjoyable so try to enjoy it best you can and if you're not, think about your other options!!

please feel free to PM me if you need to chat anymore. GOOD LUCK!!!!! xxxxx

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

It has been diagnosed, am on medication for it at the moment, might look at getting it put up when I next go back to the doctors. I'm going home in a month, after my exams, but I just feel like I can't wait that long. I talk to my parents everyday but somehow, it seems to make it worse because they are at home and I can't be there with them. I mostly understand my work but because I feel so low it's not going through my brain and I can't put stuff together to answer the question.
Thank you for the replies though

Reply 5

Sazarina88

Are you actually enjoying university at all?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I'm doing psychology, but want to move onto veterinary nursing so it definately needs a change of course! I'm hating it, because it's just so academic (yes I know that's what I put myself in for, so that's my fault entirely) and I can't do that for the next four years (scottish uni). Haven't got friends really, I've got a couple of people I talk to, but I find socialising really hard and find myself uncounsciously (sp?) closing myself off on the rare times I go out and making excuses to go back and being on my own. I just hate being with people, I've been shutting myself off for years (long story, years of bullying have made it very very hard for me to be friendly and confident with people) and I can't seem to get out the habit however hard I try. Thank you for the nice post :-)

Reply 7

G4ry

There must be a student support adviser you can speak to and they can give you extensions or make allowances if necessary.

Reply 8

he_is_innocent

There is but (God I always hoped I'd never say something like this because I always say don't worry, it's better if they know you!) it means to talking to someone I know and who has trained me for the uni helpline (what an irony!). But if I really haven't made any headway by Monday, I will go and talk to him

Reply 9

he_is_innocent

*******s. Oh well, this is me

Reply 10

vixky!

don't worry about it, it's nothing to be embarrassed about! it's nice to have non-anon posts anyway.

i know how you feel, it's very hard to put yourself out there if you're not very confident in yourself.

have you maybe considered dropping out and reapplying?

Reply 11

Shockley

I feel I can really relate to the OP. I've been feeling down recently, its because I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. As much I love my course (Forensic Science) and think its the coolest thing ever, sometimes I get upset and wish I had done better at school so I could've studied Veterinary Medicine. I'm finding it really difficult to get stuck into the work, its the lack of motivation thats pulling me down. I also have big money problems so things aren't really going well. It all gets too much sometimes and even though I have something really amazing to look forward to in two weeks' time, the negative thoughts overide everything else.

So, I know how you feel. All I can say to you is, find what you really want and GO for it. Start making plans for the future and look to ways of improving your life now. Go to study support and make sure you get the help you need. What uni are you at?

Reply 12

Badassbabe

Everyone else has given excellent advice so I don't have that much more to add apart from, if things get really bad, like you said please 'don't do anything stupid!' If ever you feel desperate just talk to someone, like your uni nightline or the Samaritans. A really good website I can recommend is www.studentdepression.org Gives good coping strategies and has case studies of students who've overcome depression and how they did it.

Reply 13

xXMessedUpXx

hey, again lots of advice given so much i can add other than i've been there myself so you're not alone. my depression flared up badly in my first year at uni, and i left it too late to get help when i needed it. ended up havig to resit a load of moduloes which just added to the stress. the best advice is see someone NOW don't wait for it to get worse. you may feel like you're struggling right now and that its never going to get better but if you try to nip this flare up of your depression in the bud now, then maybe come your second semseter things will have evened out a bit.

give this person a chance and talk to them, evidently if they've trained you up they must have some advice to give, plus mayeb you'll feel less alone with your problems if you can have someone to talk to about them?

best of luck and hope things go ok for you

Reply 14

he_is_innocent

Thank you people! Can't say what uni I'm at becuase I think I've already said somewhere I work for the uni nightline (damn stupid anonymity) but fare it to say it's in Scotland! If things aren't looking better by Monday I'll go and see this guy. Thank you again :-)

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