surrounded by people, but no true friends

I've always been shy, but have always managed to find a few good friends. Until now.

I'm slowly but steadily loosing touch with my old friends, becase we're simply growing apart. We still hang out and do stuff, but the closeness is gone. This has gradually been getting more and more noticable since we all started high school last fall.

Starting a new school should have been the perfect time to make new friends, and yet I haven't made any. I get along fine with everyone, but there is not one single person who I'd consider a friend. It usually takes me a while to make friends (I'm shy), but now I've known these people for over a year, and I can say pretty safely that there is no one who I am likely to be able to be friends with either. (Or, if there are, they're in none of the same classes as me so I don't really have any way of getting to know them).

I'm pretty comfortable with being on my own. I don't feel the need to follow around a group of people in order to be "part of" a group or anything like that. I have no desire for the superficial "friendships" in which trust isn't a part, and where after a couple of weeks the people who seemed inseperatable before don't hardly talk anymore, besides an occasional "hey, what's up?". I guess that kind of friendship sometimes deepens too, but I can't make myself put any effort into it. I don't want to go to the trouble unless I actually feel like I like the other person and would want to spend time with them!

But now, when I don't have any new friends and am loosing my old ones, I'm starting to get a bit lonley. I have several groups (non-school) that I belong to, and even in school I have a group of people I hang out with reguarly. I have a great boyfriend/bestfriend who I'm very close to, but he lives far away and I don't see him very often. Really, I have nothing to complain about. But I feel so lonley...

I just want a small group of people who I like and trust and feel comfortable around in school. I doubt it'll happen, and I've accepted that. But I dread the next year and a half of high school. I hate going to school and being polite and friendly and yet totally invisible. More and more, I feel myself withdrawing, which I know is bad. Do they care? No. Do I care? I don't know. In a way being totally alone would be a relief, because I wouldn't have to care. And still, I know that's not a good idea.

I don't know what my purpose with this post is; I just feel so very confused and discouraged. :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hey, if this can reassure you: you write incredibly well for someone who's just started high school.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

I had this problem but when I went to uni I found a brilliant bunch of people. I still don't have a "best" friend as such but I haven't joined any societies apart from one, most people do sports too so if you do, you'll meet more people with similar interests. Don't worry about it, the important thing is just be yourself :biggrin:

Reply 3

supernova2

Well it does kinda seem to bother you so Id put the effort in if I was you. If you don't, you cant really complain. I'm in a kinda **** situation at the moment, I repeated the year so I joined a bunch of people who already had their own set friendship groups. Lucky for me I knew another guy who was repeating plus I have a big group of really close friends who all live near me. Of course its more fun getting to know people and making friends but yeah if it doesn't bother you don't do anything about it and vice versa.

Reply 4

Fordyville

i've been in that position many times myself. Especially now at university. I have lots of people i know and would class as friends i suppose, but not really anyone that i trust completely and would feel able to talk to about important things.

i'd say keep being polite and nice to people and try not to withdraw away from social interactions. The majority of the people you meet will probably not end up being your friends but you might just meet 1 or more people that you end up becoming great friends with.

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

yeh i've found it difficult to trust any1 at uni so far, maybe 1 or 2 people i can tell some things to but nobody i trust completely. but these things take time

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