My Friend Clubbing Underage: Should I Tell The Club (serious)?

Hi,

I'm a responsible 16 year old girl.My lovely friend is ruining herself (let's call her Abby). She recently got a fake ID and is clubbing underage (at age 16) with this total bitch of a girl who is a waster and is dragging Abby down. She's a tiny person, really young and vulnerable looking, beautiful. She shouldn't be in a club with 25 year old men who think she's 20.

Abby gets immensely drunk in these clubs and then takes MDMA that is apparently "mixed with ketamine". Whatever you say, ketamine is a disaster. I'm not some paragon - I would consider trying SOME drugs (I've done weed, but I know it's safe and I don't react badly) , but when I'm a) more emotionally stable, b) when my brain is fully developed and c) with safe people in a safe place, not a club at 3am in a very dodgy part of London.

I'm losing Abby to drugs - she no longer wants to do anything that doesn't involve MDMA. She's buying into all this shamanism BS and believes drugs awaken your senses etc.

The clubbing needs to stop, because she's had some very close calls with guys almost raping her. It's terrifying for me to hear about. And she buys her Class As in the club, so it might slow down her consumption.

====> SO, I want to send the club an anonymous email saying that some teenagers are entering the club with fake EU driver's license IDs. Then, Abby will just be sent away by the bouncer. I don't want to ruin her life or call the police or anything. WE HAVE OUR GCSES IN 3 MONTHS. It's such a bad time for her to fall apart.

I would never phone her mother or directly get her into trouble, but I believe I need to do something. She CANNOT balance drugs and alcohol (she ends up lying on the floor laughing. She goes to these clubs so scantily clad, some guy will rape her. She's so insecure and soft and sweet - all she wants is affection, and clubbing won't mend her).

Do you guys think I should anonymously write the club a letter or email them? I believe it will save Abby's life. Would they trace it or try to trace the sender? I just want the club to be aware. They shouldn't be making money out of underage girls, right? I'm sure they'd be grateful.

(Please don't call me a little snitch. I would NEVER normally do this, but A has had her stomach pumped, and she's popped pills that guys have given her without knowing what they even are. This hedonism needs to stop)

Reply 1

Velvetaccountant

1

If you feel it is the right thing to do, then you write an email and let the club.
Personally I would as well, but be warned that she might end up going to other clubs and therefore a worse place.

I think write an email, try that first and see if it works. i know you might not want to tell your mum, therefore getting her in trouble, and maybe cause problems between the two of you, but i might have to. Confide in someone you feel will listen and respect your boundies on what to do.

If you want anymore advice, feel free to message

Reply 2

Schrödingers Cat

16

I think you're going the wrong way about this.

Don't you think you should talk to her directly and try to get her to see what she's doing to her body and warn her of the consequences (rape or having a fit on the floor and ending up in hospital).

What are you going to do email every single club in the area? If she can't get into one club she'll just go to another.

Plus once she's 18 she can do what she want's, you need to get her to change her attitude not stop her from doing the actions.

Reply 3

username1060288

6

Tell her parents. If this is as serious as you think, then don't let her slip away to drugs. She'll thank you in the long wrong and you'll kick yourself if you look back and think you could have done more.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

I think you're going the wrong way about this.

Don't you think you should talk to her directly and try to get her to see what she's doing to her body and warn her of the consequences (rape or having a fit on the floor and ending up in hospital).

What are you going to do email every single club in the area? If she can't get into one club she'll just go to another.

Plus once she's 18 she can do what she want's, you need to get her to change her attitude not stop her from doing the actions.

She's had her fake ID confiscated once before, at a club. The idea is, I'll ask her where she's going next, casually, once she gets her new fake ID. Then, I'll email THAT club and she'll get it confiscated again. It's £50 to order each time. I think she'd think a bit before ordering a third.

Basically, I see your point but when underage people don't get into clubs here, the club workers NEARLY ALWAYS confiscate the ID, either that or the kids leg it and run. Either way, she'll be without an ID, so if she loses it and then orders another for £50 (which is a lot for a stoner teenager) she won't risk clubbing again because she ""needs"" it for tobacco and vodka).

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Velvetaccountant

If you feel it is the right thing to do, then you write an email and let the club.
Personally I would as well, but be warned that she might end up going to other clubs and therefore a worse place.

I think write an email, try that first and see if it works. i know you might not want to tell your mum, therefore getting her in trouble, and maybe cause problems between the two of you, but i might have to. Confide in someone you feel will listen and respect your boundies on what to do.

If you want anymore advice, feel free to message

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. One question - do you think the club would try to trace the I.P. address/ try to find out who sent the email? I don't want stuff to get serious for me on a legal basis. It would be the end of the world if the club tried to locate me or whatever, as I'm a very good friend of the girl (we have our ups and downs, mainly bc of her lifestyle, but we're v tight). My life would be over if she realised I snitched.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

I think you're going the wrong way about this.

Don't you think you should talk to her directly and try to get her to see what she's doing to her body and warn her of the consequences (rape or having a fit on the floor and ending up in hospital).

What are you going to do email every single club in the area? If she can't get into one club she'll just go to another.

Plus once she's 18 she can do what she want's, you need to get her to change her attitude not stop her from doing the actions.

That's true - but her liver and brain will be developed when she's 18. I think it's mainly risky that guys see her as a loose 18-20 year old party girl in the club, when she's actually underage.

As for the talking thing - she's a lost cause. I'm not gonna give up because I'm involved with her and I really care about her. But she tells me she's gonna be dead by the time she's 22 and "live a sad fast life". I want to shake her when she says that. It's so so selfish, beyond anything else.

you're a rat

Original post by Anonymous

Hi,

I'm a responsible 16 year old girl.My lovely friend is ruining herself (let's call her Abby). She recently got a fake ID and is clubbing underage (at age 16) with this total ***** of a girl who is a waster and is dragging Abby down. She's a tiny person, really young and vulnerable looking, beautiful. She shouldn't be in a club with 25 year old men who think she's 20.

Abby gets immensely drunk in these clubs and then takes MDMA that is apparently "mixed with ketamine". Whatever you say, ketamine is a disaster. I'm not some paragon - I would consider trying SOME drugs (I've done weed, but I know it's safe and I don't react badly) , but when I'm a) more emotionally stable, b) when my brain is fully developed and c) with safe people in a safe place, not a club at 3am in a very dodgy part of London.

I'm losing Abby to drugs - she no longer wants to do anything that doesn't involve MDMA. She's buying into all this shamanism BS and believes drugs awaken your senses etc.

The clubbing needs to stop, because she's had some very close calls with guys almost raping her. It's terrifying for me to hear about. And she buys her Class As in the club, so it might slow down her consumption.

====> SO, I want to send the club an anonymous email saying that some teenagers are entering the club with fake EU driver's license IDs. Then, Abby will just be sent away by the bouncer. I don't want to ruin her life or call the police or anything. WE HAVE OUR GCSES IN 3 MONTHS. It's such a bad time for her to fall apart.

I would never phone her mother or directly get her into trouble, but I believe I need to do something. She CANNOT balance drugs and alcohol (she ends up lying on the floor laughing. She goes to these clubs so scantily clad, some guy will rape her. She's so insecure and soft and sweet - all she wants is affection, and clubbing won't mend her).

Do you guys think I should anonymously write the club a letter or email them? I believe it will save Abby's life. Would they trace it or try to trace the sender? I just want the club to be aware. They shouldn't be making money out of underage girls, right? I'm sure they'd be grateful.

(Please don't call me a little snitch. I would NEVER normally do this, but A has had her stomach pumped, and she's popped pills that guys have given her without knowing what they even are. This hedonism needs to stop)

I think you need to tell the club her name AND get a responsible adult involved tbh.

the drugs are not going to stop just because she's banned from the club. She'll do it in an alley if need be, you need to tackle this at the root by making others aware and getting her the help and support she needs.

Reply 9

Kilam_Namoan

19

Mind your own business. Try to win her over- if she doesnt get it. She doesnt get it. Getting her banned will sour ur relationship and she will see you as a snake and not a friend, and be even more likely to keep going in the current drug fuelled addiction.

Be smart. Get over her and move on. Avoid the drama. You friend has made a choice to be a druggie; let her be.
Only way she can learn is by seeing the damage of it herself. You need to keep talking to her- BUT not put yourself in a position where she see’s you as an enemy or someone trying to restrict her freedom.

You are a nobody- dont force things on other people because of your own moral compass. You are not responsible for her- stop thinking or acting like you are and stop being clingy.

She wants to **** up her life. Let her- or talk her out.

But do not get her banned or snake her- she will know it is you sooner or later.

Reply 10

Drewski

19

Original post by ANM775

I think you need to tell the club her name AND get a responsible adult involved tbh.

the drugs are not going to stop just because she's banned from the club. She'll do it in an alley if need be, you need to tackle this at the root by making others aware and getting her the help and support she needs.

Original post by MADMANMALIK

Mind your own business. Try to win her over- if she doesnt get it. She doesnt get it. Getting her banned will sour ur relationship and she will see you as a snake and not a friend, and be even more likely to keep going in the current drug fuelled addiction.

Be smart. Get over her and move on. Avoid the drama. You friend has made a choice to be a druggie; let her be.
Only way she can learn is by seeing the damage of it herself. You need to keep talking to her- BUT not put yourself in a position where she see’s you as an enemy or someone trying to restrict her freedom.

You are a nobody- dont force things on other people because of your own moral compass. You are not responsible for her- stop thinking or acting like you are and stop being clingy.

She wants to **** up her life. Let her- or talk her out.

But do not get her banned or snake her- she will know it is you sooner or later.