not being in a crew

it gets to me that i don't really have a group of friends :frown:

it's not like i'm a social ****** or anything, i'm quite easy to get along with and am funny too (not being big headed!) and i do have friends here and there but they are all in their own groups of 4-5 friends who go out together and stuff.

when i go out i'm usually the one tagging along with someone elses group, and i don't ever really feel like i belong there...

i don't know what to do, it's starting to upset me now. what happened was that in uni my first year, i was hanging around with the same few people for the first three weeks or so and we got on well and stuff but then they turned out to be quite stuck-up and only interested in sex and drinking and bitching and they didn't want me anymore cos i wasn't like that and didn't change to be like them...

by that time when i wasn't part of their crew anymore it was quite difficult to get into a new set of friends cos ppl were quite close and didn't really ask me to join them as they thought i was still in that other crew.

now that's kind of messed me up for this year and it's really starting to get to me, i do have a couple of close-ish friends but it's not really likely that they will let me be in their crew now is it,

ohhhhhhhhh dear i don't know what to do :frown:

p.s. i apologise for the over-use of the word crew

Reply 1

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

I don't know what to say about you not having a crew, but have you considered getting a gang or a posse?

Reply 2

Arminius

14

this is a very common story, i would say best bet is to try really really hard (but not TOO hard) to make good freinds with someone you like and their freinds. Or go to a new society and make freinds from scratch there.

I know what you mean though, first term of uni is like "grab a freind free for all!" and then as soon as people have got a group they make no effort. So people who weren't quick can find themselves lost inbetween. Its silly really.

I think the key is make a sustained effort, and be open to new things. If they are going say.... ice skating and you've never been take a risk and go. The fastest way to make freinds is through going out together/taking a holiday etc

Reply 3

andy_cole2

14

you can either be a social butterfly or not. if you spend all your time in one group you'l become a part of the crew.

Reply 4

CJ

TSR Group Staff

21

i can sooo relate to you...

i know plenty of cool people, but don't have a strong connection to their groups, also whenever i find someone to hang around with they always seem to have 1 'friend' who is a d*ck, meaning i get put off that group...

also (being my luck) the ppl i have bonded the best either live far away or just don't like to go out on the spur of the moment...

anyways i can't really complain too much cos i'm happier than i was a few weeks after i started and its still early days

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks so far guys am taking it ALL in.........

the main thing is i'm not invited out all the time a particular group go out, what if they don't want me there/in their group :s

Reply 6

ashy

17

yeah you need a crew. Join the Navy, give it 30-40 years and you'll have one!

Reply 7

sssh

10

Hahaha. Seemingly non-ironic use of the word "crew".

Reply 8

zain88

1

I dislike 'crews' and 'groups'. I thought it was bad in high school, it seems like it's worse at uni. What's the big deal with it anyway, ok it's nice having people you can always go out with, but why are other people not allowed 'in'? It's not like it's a contract or something. I hope this doesn't sound cheeky or patronising but I think 'groupies' need to grow up a bit.

Reply 9

Talon

18

Get a dog. You will feel much better :smile:

.

Reply 10

Spacecam

15

You are an individual! You don't have to get on with everyone, likewise, you can't expect your individual friends to get on with your other friends!

To quote a friend (not a social ****** before the abuse comes in): A "crew" and "fashion" are what people conform to when they refuse to acknowledge their individual positive traits.

Reply 11

NaN

1

zain88

I dislike 'crews' and 'groups'. I thought it was bad in high school, it seems like it's worse at uni. What's the big deal with it anyway, ok it's nice having people you can always go out with, but why are other people not allowed 'in'? It's not like it's a contract or something. I hope this doesn't sound cheeky or patronising but I think 'groupies' need to grow up a bit.

No, the way of the crew is the way forward. Other people are allowed in, but you have to slowly initiate them.

Our crew even has a myspace group :cool:

Reply 12

zain88

1

RJ89

No, the way of the crew is the way forward. Other people are allowed in, but you have to slowly initiate them.

Our crew even has a myspace group :cool:

I want to think you're being sarcastic, but if you're not, well aren't you just the coolest. :rolleyes:

So do you have votes each week to see who gets shunned?

I guess it's just a security thing having a group and therefore a sense of 'belonging'. But I'd much rather be seen as an individual, even it meant I looked lonely and anti-social, than to hang out in a recognised clique.

I have plenty friends, just not in one group. They're all dotted here and there. How do you know you will always get on with EVERYONE in your group?

Reply 13

NaN

1

zain88

I want to think you're being sarcastic, but if you're not, well aren't you just the coolest. :rolleyes:

So do you have votes each week to see who gets shunned?

I guess it's just a security thing having a group and therefore a sense of 'belonging'. But I'd much rather be seen as an individual, even it meant I looked lonely and anti-social, than to hang out in a recognised clique.

I have plenty friends, just not in one group. They're all dotted here and there. How do you know you will always get on with EVERYONE in your group?

Calm down... the whole thing is a piss-take out of sone other people we know with "crews"

Reply 14

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

zain88

I want to think you're being sarcastic, but if you're not, well aren't you just the coolest. :rolleyes:

So do you have votes each week to see who gets shunned?

Imagine a real life Big Brother style friendship group.

That would be so awesome.

Reply 15

sophisti_kate

Go rowing.

Reply 16

danni_bella

17

Lol 'crew'! :p:

I love the UK, and I love the internet for making my boring life so much more interesting.

Yes... anyway just be yourself, you'll find your niche :smile:

You've already got the right attitude x

Reply 17

hippieglitter

19

Don't worry, my first year wasn't hugely great either, i didnt get on with my flatmates, they went off and found this years accomodation without me. I found a poster for this place and am miles happier. I made better friends of my new housemates in two minutes than i did in eight months with the old ones. Just think, when it comes to finding accomodation for your second year, don't follow your ex crew, make it your own way, check houses that already have people in, there should be a notice board for it somewhere in your uni. Ask to see round lots of houses, think about the people showing your round cos you could be living with them. Choose people who you think you're gonna get on with. Thats what i did and at the same time found my best friend who can relate to the problems i had last year cos hers were exactly the same. It maybe just a twosome, but its better than being in a big group of people you don't get on with.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

ull be ok, dunt worry x

Reply 19

Kunster1337

1

like i always say, dont worry be happy!

not being in a crew

Related discussions

Articles for you