My friend cheats on her boyfriend regularly

Ok one of my closest friend has been in a relationship for about a year ago and when she first got together with her boyfriend she would turn guys down that tried to approach her instantly. Now I've started to notice that on nights out she gives her number to loads of random guys, dancing with them in a sexual way, french kisses them, gives them her facebook and snapchat and on 2 occasions recently has gone home and slept with a guy. Each time she begs me and our other friends not to tell her boyfriend about this tearfully but swears it will never happen again ... and then it does. My other friends don't seem to care; they generally tell her not to worry as it doesn't count as the boyfriend doesn't know. Last week we went out and she and my other best friend were taking turns snogging this bodybuilder looking guy in a club and high fiving each other. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for her boyfriend because he's also one of my good friends and its hard seeing my best female friends hurt him. If i tell him its likely all my friends will turn on me. Should I just leave it? Drift away from the group? This is really weighing on my conscience :frown:

Reply 1

Arkasia

19

Tell the boyfriend, he doesn't deserve this.

Reply 2

somemightsay888

20

Evidently not one of your "good friends" if you keep it from him m8.

Put him out of his misery and tell him.

Reply 3

Belvitaaa

8

Tell him.

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Reply 4

VannR

21

Tell him. 'Friends' who think that is OK for her to consistently betray his trust and emotions are not people that you want to associate with.

Reply 5

Sabertooth

20

Your friends sound lovely.

Reply 6

UT97

7

Original post by Anonymous

Ok one of my closest friend has been in a relationship for about a year ago and when she first got together with her boyfriend she would turn guys down that tried to approach her instantly. Now I've started to notice that on nights out she gives her number to loads of random guys, dancing with them in a sexual way, french kisses them, gives them her facebook and snapchat and on 2 occasions recently has gone home and slept with a guy. Each time she begs me and our other friends not to tell her boyfriend about this tearfully but swears it will never happen again ... and then it does. My other friends don't seem to care; they generally tell her not to worry as it doesn't count as the boyfriend doesn't know. Last week we went out and she and my other best friend were taking turns snogging this bodybuilder looking guy in a club and high fiving each other. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for her boyfriend because he's also one of my good friends and its hard seeing my best female friends hurt him. If i tell him its likely all my friends will turn on me. Should I just leave it? Drift away from the group? This is really weighing on my conscience :frown:

I'd say tell the poor kid, if he's your friend then it'd be harsh not to tell him. However, it could have negative consequences with your friend who keeps cheating, just be aware of that. At the end of the day it's your choice, so do what you feel is best for you. Eg if it really weighs on your conscience, tell him. If you can't bear to risk your friendship with the cheating friend, don't tell him.

Reply 7

Rakas21

21

Be careful OP. Your friend clearly does not value loyalty and is without honour. There's no guarantee that this won't extend to you.

Reply 8

LampGod

Tell him but if you don't want your friends to find out it was you, try tell him in an anonymous way

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Reply 9

Demilb

9

Decide who's friendship means more to you. If it's hers that don't say anything and if it's his tell him but be prepared for the girls to turn on you.

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Reply 10

Tpos

17

The right thing to do would be to tell him imo, especially as you say he's a good friend. Do you want to be associated with the cheating when it eventually comes out and he finds out? He'll be hurt because he was cheated on but also because someone he thought was a good friend kept such a secret from him. And yes it probably will ruin your relationship with the girl - maybe you should have a word with her before you tell him, tell her how it makes you feel and that you want to tell him and see her reaction. But also ask yourself if you want to be friends with such a person in the first place.

Of course this is all very easy for me to write, and very hard for you to carry out. But the fact it's weighing on your conscience shows you've already decided what would be right and just need the courage to go ahead with it...and perhaps someone to reassure you that everything will be ok afterwards. None of us can say it'll be ok but you might have a clear conscience afterwards.

Good luck.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 11

SnooFnoo

10

It's not your issue. Don't tell him, he'll find out eventually. Just be a good friend when that happens and he needs someone go talk to.

Reply 12

Mankytoes

10

You should try and pursuade her to break up with him rather than cheat on him, but as her friend you should not betray her trust by telling him behind her back.

Reply 13

Protégé

11

Tell him. If I was you I'd struggle to be friends with that girl.

Reply 14

Schrödingers Cat

16

Original post by Anonymous

Ok one of my closest friend has been in a relationship for about a year ago and when she first got together with her boyfriend she would turn guys down that tried to approach her instantly. Now I've started to notice that on nights out she gives her number to loads of random guys, dancing with them in a sexual way, french kisses them, gives them her facebook and snapchat and on 2 occasions recently has gone home and slept with a guy. Each time she begs me and our other friends not to tell her boyfriend about this tearfully but swears it will never happen again ... and then it does. My other friends don't seem to care; they generally tell her not to worry as it doesn't count as the boyfriend doesn't know. Last week we went out and she and my other best friend were taking turns snogging this bodybuilder looking guy in a club and high fiving each other. I don't know what to do. I feel so bad for her boyfriend because he's also one of my good friends and its hard seeing my best female friends hurt him. If i tell him its likely all my friends will turn on me. Should I just leave it? Drift away from the group? This is really weighing on my conscience :frown:

I can tell what your group of friends are like, no wonder she cheats on him

I know someone who is exactly like this, and at uni it was quite common to see someone I know partaking in such behaviour. It's so awkward and quite sad to be around a couple knowing that one of them is cheating, but it's not your place to say anything.

Even if I found out my closest friend was being cheated on idk if i'd be able to bring myself to tell them. It's such an awkward conversation to have with someone and even though you're probably helping them in the long term, in the short term you're only making things worse.

Reply 16

KingStannis

3

Original post by skd1996

it's not your place to tell him.

This.

Reply 17

reallydontknow

11

Original post by skd1996

it's not your place to tell him.

Original post by KingStannis

This.

Original post by sr90

I know someone who is exactly like this, and at uni it was quite common to see someone I know partaking in such behaviour. It's so awkward and quite sad to be around a couple knowing that one of them is cheating, but it's not your place to say anything.

Even if I found out my closest friend was being cheated on idk if i'd be able to bring myself to tell them. It's such an awkward conversation to have with someone and even though you're probably helping them in the long term, in the short term you're only making things worse.

I'm sorry why?

He has the right to tell the boyfriend, it's not like he has to keep it a secret.

If he wants his friend to be with somebody who cares it is his place to tell

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