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Living with a racist
I just found out from my flatmate that another guy we live with has been talking about me. This was bad enough, especially since we were quite friendly with each other & I have made an effort to be nice to him since freshers week. I then enquired as to what exactly this guy has been saying about me and my friend said that it was 'some things about your race, and some things about you' I am really hurt as I didn't know he was a racist & I now have to live with him for the rest of the year. I don't know how to handle it either, should I confront him about it (which my friend has begged me not to do as he will get in trouble for telling me) or ignore it which I'm not sure I can do as I'm really angry. Either way, how do I handle this?
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It's a shame people have to waste their lives being racist and hurting others. All that will be left of us is a bunch of bones in a coffin when we're dead. No one's going bring them back to life because they're white (or brown or black for that matter).
I'm not sure how I would deal with this situation. I think if you confronted him about it, it may cause more problems for you rather then clearing up the air. If he was narrow-minded enough to bring up your race when gossiping about you I doubt he would express shame for what he said if he came to know that you found out what he said. The flatmate that told you would also turn into a target. Telling him would cause more harm then good, I think.
Hey, but at least you know what kind of person he is now.
I'm not sure how I would deal with this situation. I think if you confronted him about it, it may cause more problems for you rather then clearing up the air. If he was narrow-minded enough to bring up your race when gossiping about you I doubt he would express shame for what he said if he came to know that you found out what he said. The flatmate that told you would also turn into a target. Telling him would cause more harm then good, I think.
Hey, but at least you know what kind of person he is now.
wait until you have further info before you really have a go at him. More info, more evidence, more reason to shout! 
+ the added bonus that you don't break your friends trust
+ the added bonus that you don't break your friends trustalso it could make an awkward situation, gather evidence so he can't backout, then its more fun and more reliable.
It is nasty when people are like that, but some people are just ignorant.
If he's talking about you behind your back, you aren't supposed to hear it. He's talking about you not to your face because he doesn't want to upset you, or he's afraid/ashamed of what he has to say.
By the sound of it he isn't turning anyone against you, nor should he. Ignore it, but if it gets quite abusive, you'd better confront him with your mates, or just tell him to **** off!
If he's talking about you behind your back, you aren't supposed to hear it. He's talking about you not to your face because he doesn't want to upset you, or he's afraid/ashamed of what he has to say.
By the sound of it he isn't turning anyone against you, nor should he. Ignore it, but if it gets quite abusive, you'd better confront him with your mates, or just tell him to **** off!
Bear in mind that it might not actually be true, the other guy might be making it up/exaggerating an offhand comment/have misheard/misinterpretted something that was said.
ashy
Daily Mail?
that's really bad! I would've stood up for you.
alasdair_R
Yes.
oh god. another post from the 'he must be being racist society.'
OP - you're an arse.
Some people don't like you, for god sake learn to accept that. You're going to 'confront' him? FFS. What are you going to say "I hear you don't like me?" and then probably run off crying when he tells you in no uncertain terms that he doesn't like you.
If he doesn't like you, don't socialise with him. It's really that simple.
Some people don't like you, for god sake learn to accept that. You're going to 'confront' him? FFS. What are you going to say "I hear you don't like me?" and then probably run off crying when he tells you in no uncertain terms that he doesn't like you.
If he doesn't like you, don't socialise with him. It's really that simple.
Anonymous
I just found out from my flatmate that another guy we live with has been talking about me. This was bad enough, especially since we were quite friendly with each other & I have made an effort to be nice to him since freshers week. I then enquired as to what exactly this guy has been saying about me and my friend said that it was 'some things about your race, and some things about you' I am really hurt as I didn't know he was a racist & I now have to live with him for the rest of the year. I don't know how to handle it either, should I confront him about it (which my friend has begged me not to do as he will get in trouble for telling me) or ignore it which I'm not sure I can do as I'm really angry. Either way, how do I handle this?
If he was really racist then why would he be friendly towards you? Lots of people say things behind people's backs, it doesn't neccessarily mean that they're racist, sizest, sexist, homophobic etc...
sometimes people use the most distinctive thing about a person when they are trying to be a bit bitchy...
I've heard one of my mates call another one a "ginger ****" when he was a bit peeved but that does not, at all, mean that he hates all ginger people. Nor does it mean that he hates our mate who has ginger hair. Same goes for my short friend, who gets called "short-arse" and other names in the same vein but again, the people who call him that are not prejudiced against short people, nor do they dislike him on the basis of his height. One of my mate refers to another as "the ****ing paki" when he's annoyed at him. I know I'm repeating myself, but this does not mean that my mate hates all pakistanis, or the guy in question. But selecting the one thing about a person that distinguishes them from the majority is a really common way of pointing someone out/referring to someone but not using their name. I mean you must have heard people talk about a "blonde bitch" or a "fat bastard" etc etc but did you instantly assume they were against all blond or fat people? I'm fairly sure you wouldn't have.
Could it not be that perhaps this guy was having a bit of a moan for one reason or another and now it's all blown out of proportion?
I've heard one of my mates call another one a "ginger ****" when he was a bit peeved but that does not, at all, mean that he hates all ginger people. Nor does it mean that he hates our mate who has ginger hair. Same goes for my short friend, who gets called "short-arse" and other names in the same vein but again, the people who call him that are not prejudiced against short people, nor do they dislike him on the basis of his height. One of my mate refers to another as "the ****ing paki" when he's annoyed at him. I know I'm repeating myself, but this does not mean that my mate hates all pakistanis, or the guy in question. But selecting the one thing about a person that distinguishes them from the majority is a really common way of pointing someone out/referring to someone but not using their name. I mean you must have heard people talk about a "blonde bitch" or a "fat bastard" etc etc but did you instantly assume they were against all blond or fat people? I'm fairly sure you wouldn't have.
Could it not be that perhaps this guy was having a bit of a moan for one reason or another and now it's all blown out of proportion?
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