Could get dumped

Been with my guy for 2 years, not had sex. Keep arguing about this, I am fearful of the pain he says he can't do anything. I don't want to lose him but he doesn't understand why I won't 'give in' and feels he can't wait much longer. I know he has been good waiting just I get nervous whenever the time comes.

Reply 1

egg_soup

2 years?! he must be gagging!

Reply 2

TrentEnd

2 years?! Well if you're not ready, you're not ready...

Your bf must be a patient man :tongue:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

He is patient, just want to get over my fear.

Reply 4

username47781

Well if your not ready then your boyfriend will have to wait.

Reply 5

bone-machine

i cant really understand this because i have little fear of pain when i know it will have a good outcome.

but heres what id say

pain is something you just have to learn to deal with throughout yourlife so you must conquer it...plus it might not hurt at all as many people who lose their virginity dont experience any ...you are ready emotionally to lose it to him arnt you?...then just bite your lip and go through with it, it will hurt more if he leaves you and then youll just have to go through the same thing at a later stage with someone else...without the added benefit of a whole secure and loving two year relationship behind it...if fear of a pain thta migth not even occur is genuinley the only thing holding you back i think you just really need to deal with it because its irrational....

anyway, my recommendations

there is likely to be minimal pain..its not child birth or anything!if hes fingered you before then with afew fingers and it didnt hurt then it is liekly not to hurt when you 'lose it' as youve been stretched enough
maybe take some pain killers?
maybe drink some wine before hand to calm yourself (dont mix this with pain killers)
or just experiment yourself...see if you can get a finger in without it hurting (if you have never explored yourself before please just start becuase its no wonder your scared of someone ELSE going down there)then try and few more fingers...then maybe try a small dildo, then amedium one..if you can work yourself up then youll realise that a penis sint MUCH bigger... (unless your bf is very big)

i really think you should just go through with it.id be as frustrated as him if it was just your fear of pain that was holding you back, dont flame me, but id be quite upset if my partner wasnt willing to go through TWO SECONDS of minimal pain so that our relationshi would grow and the arguments would stop. ..of course if there are other actors that are making you reluctant dont do it.

good luck and stop putting it off..its going to happen sometime why not with someone you love and trust??

Reply 6

rosetinted

If the only reason you don't want to have sex with him is because you are worried it will hurt then I think this is something you need to work past. He sounds like he's been damn patient! If he has inserted one or more fingers that's a good start. If not then why not give it a try. Buy yourself some lube (such as ky jelly) and give it a go. It will help you to work past this fear. The main thing is to relax, take your time, lead into anything sexual with foreplay and use lubricant.

Have the two of you ever actually tried having sex? Often the hymen is already broken through exercise or similar and there will not be any pain. You might be worrying yourself over nothing.

If you're using this as an excuse because you don't feel ready or comfortable to have sex then nothing and nobody should pressure you into it. If you aren't ready, he has to wait.

Reply 7

Triplet1

Well if he is going to dump you because of it he isnt patient. Dont do anything you dont want to, if your not ready thats it he has to accept that!

Reply 8

He's not patient? Two years? There are wars that haven't lasted that long!

Reply 9

The Guru

Hey dudess, if you're worried about the pain, you're scared and you're not ready, then (like other posts have said) you are not ready. Please don't let yourself get pressured in to something you don't want to do. Love works in different ways for each couple but if he's nagging you about it then you've got to make your choice and lay down your terms! :tsr2:

Reply 10

*knowitall*

One day when it's the right person & the right time you won't be scared! You'll be really really keen.

So as you are scared I'd say he's not the one!

Reply 11

foxiroxi

How old are you? and how old is he?

Two years is along time and I think maybe you need to try and get over your fear of pain, you might not even have any, I didn't, how far have you gone with him? Do you do lots of foreplay? Ie has he fingerd you? does/did that hurt?

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

2 years damm, if i had to wait that long for my girl my dick would have droped off.

that is not being patiet or you not being ready for it, its torturing him.