Love is ****

Just a bit of a moan to see if anyone can feel my pain.

Why is it that no one I fancy ever likes me? Its not like I have high standards in terms of looks. Most of my friends look at the people I confess to liking and think they are decidedly average in that department (although I invariably disagree). I go more for people I feel I have something in common with. I'm not hideous either, athough no brad pit, so why the **** do things never work out? I'm starting to think that the sort of love where I am completely infatuated with the other person, and they feel the same about me, is just never going to find me. I'm just gonna end up settling for someone I don't really like, and never experience real love. Someone, please give me some hope, cos otherwise I'm gonna have to join the monkhood or something.

Reply 1

wackysparkle

14

maybe the girls are just shy - have you tried asking them out? - do they just flat out say no??

Reply 2

Welshdude

Hey dude. I cant tell you someone who is just perfect is going to come along for you soon, but what i do know is that someone is out there for you. Dont worry about it dude, when that right person comes along you will know just keep in there mate, its not all doom and gloom

Reply 3

username47781

20

Maybe you need to lower your standards slightly, because it's not all completely about looking stunning.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah, I have tried asking, or at least making it pretty clear how I feel. Anyway, if your suggesting lowering my standards in terms of personality, I can't see the point. I'd rather be alone. Wouldn't you? What's the point in going for someone you aren't completely head over heals for? If thats my choice I'm definiately joining the monkhood.

Reply 5

zain88

1

It's difficult to have two people who simultaneously have exactly the same feelings for each other. (although if/when it does happen it's awesome!). So you might like someone more than they like you, but it's something that can be developed as they get to know you better. They might end up liking you loads more than you like them! You just don't know. I've found that one person initially likes the other more, but when the relationship develops the feelings are mutual.

Reply 6

wackysparkle

14

well.. you will find her - she's looking for you too - its just that you haven't met yet. and when you do - you wil be happy that you waited for that moment. the rush to your heart, you see her, you can see her glow, you only see her and everyone else is a blur.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Why? Why should I? Why have so much faith that things will turn out allright? Sometimes things don't. If its possible for people to die of starvation all over the world, its possible for me to spend my whole life lonely and unloved.

Reply 8

wackysparkle

14

if you don't mind me asking how old are you? - if your only a teenager you have your life to live - maybe there are girls out there who see you and go 'woah, he's cute' but never take it further coz they're just too shy to look you in the eye. maybe when you are in lectures, theres a girl behind you who likes to smell your aftershave, but thats al she can do. Maybe at a party, there were girls looking at you, but that was it. Perhaps when you are in the bus, your the topic of conversation for a girl clique in the back seats.
When you walk down the street, a girl pretends that she is window shopping but she is trying to check you out on the reflection of the glass.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

there is no point in keeping standards, because love comes from the heart. And sometimes you can fall in love with someone you least expect- so go with the flow. Another point is- like others have said, there is someone out there waiting for you. Can be someone around the corner, that you may not have realised yet. True love comes from both ways, all you have to do is wait and that time will come when she'll love you as much as you would love her and you can only find that in true love.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

I am 18 and in my first term at uni.

Its not that I am completely lacking in female attention. I'm not swamped with offers, but I do get a few now and then. Its just I never fancy the people who fancy me. And then I end up getting really infatuated with someone, and befriending them, making opportunities to spend time with them, and then find that they "just don't see me in that way".

Reply 11

wackysparkle

14

your still in your first term - give it a chance....

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

there is no point in keeping standards, because love comes from the heart. And sometimes you can fall in love with someone you least expect- so go with the flow. Another point is- like others have said, there is someone out there waiting for you. Can be someone around the corner, that you may not have realised yet. True love comes from both ways, all you have to do is wait and that time will come when she'll love you as much as you would love her and you can only find that in true love.

I agree about standards. I don't have standards, as in a tick box of characteristics I want. But every now and again I fall head over heels in love with someone I know, and I'm not willing to settle for anything less than that feeling, because there doesn't seem to be a point.

Reply 13

zain88

1

Anonymous

Why? Why should I? Why have so much faith that things will turn out allright? Sometimes things don't. If its possible for people to die of starvation all over the world, its possible for me to spend my whole life lonely and unloved.

Because it's nicer to be optimistic than pessimistic. :smile:

(Although some people would argue it's better to expect the worst because then you are pleasantly surprised when something good happens instead.)

If you doubt yourself and your ability to have a loving relationship it will shine through and you will probably end up deterring potential relationships just because you are so sceptical about them.

Look at each day with a fresh mind and if you gain nothing visible you have at least not lost one day of your life in misery. Life is too short to think nothing good will ever happen. Change your own perception and see the potential each day and situation holds. If you lose hope in love, you won't see the opportunities, because you won't be looking for them.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

i know how you feel! most of my mates go out and have some 'fun' but dont even know the guy's name at the end of it. id much rather have something meaningful and wait...but im also begining to think that person's never going to arrive. im in my first term at uni and frankly i cant see things changing too much, but hey...

Reply 15

HeadShock

just wait dude, someone will come along who likes you...happened for me :-)

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Well its nice to know i'm not the only one who feels like that, anyway.

Reply 17

username47781

20

Anonymous

Yeah, I have tried asking, or at least making it pretty clear how I feel. Anyway, if your suggesting lowering my standards in terms of personality, I can't see the point. I'd rather be alone. Wouldn't you? What's the point in going for someone you aren't completely head over heals for? If thats my choice I'm definiately joining the monkhood.

No i suggested lowering your standards as in looks, if you see someone who's not so good looking but has a fantastic personality then thats what i mean.

Reply 18

wackysparkle

14

... but why are you suddenly pessimistic about the whole thing? or have you always thought of love like this?

Reply 19

Chumbaniya

17

Anonymous

Why? Why should I? Why have so much faith that things will turn out allright? Sometimes things don't. If its possible for people to die of starvation all over the world, its possible for me to spend my whole life lonely and unloved.

I quite agree. I think it's foolish of some people here to claim there's 'someone out there' (especially someone 'perfect') who is your ideal partner and whom you will eventually meet. Certainly, it's phenomenally likely there are a considerable number of people who would make good partners for you, and unless you're extremely unlucky you should meet one or more such people, but it would be giving you false hope to claim that there's someone perfect for you out there, and that if you did meet them, things would automatically work out between you. If you fall for the whole myth of perfect love as portrayed fictionally and delusionally believed in commonly, you're bound to be disappointed.

Love is ****

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