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Anyone with an ED free to discuss? watch

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    Anon - sorry - too personal.

    I was on Facebook a while ago and apparently it's eating disorder awareness week, so one person on my newsfeed has been posting facts and thoughts about EDs all week, so today is day 3.

    Today, he spoke about triggers, and what could trigger someone with an ED.

    He ends with a paragraph asking others to avoid talking about food, calories and exercise in public, because it might trigger someone else.

    A few people have picked him up on it saying that it's almost impossible to avoid topics like that, because it is part of daily life. He was saying we shouldn't mention food or exercise in lectures, or on public transport, or to people we don't know well. He used an example, and said that if someone mentioned in conversation that they'd got up late and had to skip breakfast that they were selfish and felt that their right to free speech was greater than the right of someone with an ED to go about their lives without being triggered.

    I would love to hear the thoughts of others on this, because I for one would NEVER, EVER have expected my friends to avoid mentioning food in front of me. Because I know and always knew that their conversations were normal, and it was my way of thinking that wasn't.

    In my opinion, it's similar to mentioning that your leg was sore because you'd cut it shaving.. I mean yes, that could trigger some people, but it's just something that you MIGHT mention in conversation.

    Or saying things like "if I get a D again I'll jump off the science block". This could OBVIOUSLY also be triggering, but things are said on the spur of the moment without being thought about.

    Do you feel as though we should never talk about food? Am I correct in the assumption that the guy who posted this is seriously overreacting?

    If you didn't talk about anything that might trigger people, you'd never talk again!
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    I had an eating disorder through the majority of my teenage years. People talking about exercise, calories, food etc never bothered me. I suffered with anorexia/body dysmorphia . It is a mental health issue, not vanity. I never TRIED to be skinny. I never counted calories. It just happened. So no, I don't think it should be avoided and yes, I think he did over react. You can't sensor life.

    I have been very close to people who have battled self harm, doesn't mean I'd never mention the word 'knife' around them.

    I know SOME people get an ED because of pressure from peers, media etc. But in my case, no, people talking about food never had any kind of impact on me. Expect from when people tried to strongly encourage or even try to force me to eat. But then, that would bother anyone.
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    The guy is definitely overreacting. If no-one should talk about food in public, then is it okay for food to be on public display in markets and shops where it could trigger people simply passing by? If no-one should talk about exercise in public, then is it okay to have public gyms or even private gyms which could possibly trigger a passerby?

    I don't know much about eating disorders, but I think that it's waaaay over the top to say that you shouldn't talk about food and exercise in public. What if someone else has a health condition where they have to carefully control their calorie intake, diet and exercise regime? Should they look themself in a private room to figure out what's best for their health?

    My second point is a tad extreme (it made sense in my head), but I think that my first point is logical. Lots of people could be triggered by lots of different things. We simply can't accommodate for it. We can't wrap everyone up in cotton wool.
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    (Original post by crozibear96)
    If no-one should talk about exercise in public, then is it okay to have public gyms or even private gyms which could possibly trigger a passerby?
    This is a good point. I shall pose the question and see what he says..
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    I feel as though purposely avoiding talking about food perpetuates mental health stigma, especially stigma around eating disorders. The idea that "oooh, I don't want to talk about food because I don't want you to feel bad/fat/whatever" just reinforces the stereotypes around abnormal eating behaviour. Each eating disorder case is different. Trying to cater for every eating disorder is an impossible task. Everything can be a trigger - it's essentially impossible to not mention something that could be triggering!
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    He's now told people that they shouldn't jog in public places because it might trigger obsessive exercisers.

    If I didn't know him, I'd say he was trolling. But I genuinely don't think he is.
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    As someone who's suffered from anorexia & bulimia for many years now, the only thing that ever makes me uncomfortable is people talking about starving themselves/doing the "ABC diet" etc so they can lose weight for an upcoming event or whatever. In the past I've felt a lot more triggered from discussion about calories, body image, bmi/weight comparison, but these topics are totally unavoidable in today's society, and it's unrealistic to expect people to censor their conversations because someone might take offence at them talking about exercise.
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    I've suffered from FAED (food avoidance emotional disorder) for most of my teenage life; i never wanted to be skinny, but my anxiety meant that I never wanted to eat. I have to say that people talking about those things did, and still does, make my stomach churn a little. But I never ever felt the need to tell them to stop -To be honest, I only felt anxious when food was mentioned because I thought that they might notice how skinny I was, and they might feel awkward or guilty for saying it - it was never because the topic disturbed me in any way.
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    I found the responses to this thread pretty interesting.



    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's now told people that they shouldn't jog in public places because it might trigger obsessive exercisers.

    If I didn't know him, I'd say he was trolling. But I genuinely don't think he is.
    Where do we draw the line? Perhaps we should all wear burkas to avoid triggering people to be jealous of people in shape or whatever. :sigh:
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    Personally (as someone diagnosed with anorexia and currently in recovery for the 1st year), I've never felt triggered by talk/sight/the existence of food per se, only when it's presented in a context of weight-loss.
    In this society, I feel that the media is constantly sending messages to lose weight, and their target is of course the overweight part of the population, which is frightfully large. However, those messages aren't filtered only to their target audience, but affect everyone. As an unwell underweight person, it is kind of dangerous to constantly be bombarded with headlines, advertisements, TV shows etc. which promote new years' diets, incredible weight loss stories, low-cal meal replacement product and so on. Especially earlier on in my recovery, it was hard to remember that these messages were not meant for me. As a recovering anorexic, one is kind of in the opposite situation of most people in society, and thus the mainstream media is also kind of opposing you. Sometimes it's hard to fight with these mixed messages.
    The most dangerous thing are all kinds of numbers and comparisons, really. When I was ill, everything revolved around numbers; daily calories, nutritional values, my weight, the weight of others, the circumference of my arms or thighs etc. So seeing numbers in a context of weight or body takes me back to that world and if it's a bad day, that can definitely be dangerous, or "triggering" as you say. I don't think it's overreacting, it's unavoidable when you have a history of long-term obsession with these same numbers.

    So, my life would definitely be more comfortable if they were no more weight-loss ads in the magazines or Biggest Loser shows on TV. However, I also recognise the fact that obesity is a more major issue in our society. Of course the media culture can't be reverted to serve the needs of recovering anorexics by telling people to eat more, since that's the opposite of what most people need to hear. I understand that, so I'm aware I just have to deal with these mixed messages. Thankfully I find that the longer I've been in recovery, the easier it gets to understand what's really best for me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, my life would definitely be more comfortable if they were no more weight-loss ads in the magazines or Biggest Loser shows on TV.
    Thank you for your thoughts . Just one comment about this, though. What about things like game shows - this could be triggering for gambling addicts? And practically every soap storyline could trigger someone. The news? Full of all sorts!

    I'm not undermining what you're saying here. I understand from experience how things can be - but although you said it would be easier if you didn't have to see certain things, do you feel that people are selfish for saying/publishing them? Or do you feel it's an unfortunate but unavoidable part of life?
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    I guess it depends where you are in recovery. Around last year my family started making self-deprecating jokes about their weight again, there was a year or two when I was terrible and they just did their best to make me forget for was around. Now thing safe normalised but that's because my primary symptoms are anxiety/depression/obsessive thoughts now, not so much food (although occasionally, and I have body image issues re: self esteem)
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I guess it depends where you are in recovery. Around last year my family started making self-deprecating jokes about their weight again, there was a year or two when I was terrible and they just did their best to make me forget for was around. Now thing safe normalised but that's because my primary symptoms are anxiety/depression/obsessive thoughts now, not so much food (although occasionally, and I have body image issues re: self esteem)
    Point taken, but would you really expect people who are just walking with friends in the street not to mention, for example..

    Spoiler:
    Show
    That they're on a diet but are going to break it to get a Subway.
    ?

    I mean, that type of comment just seems so everyday to me, regardless of my own personal history, I would NEVER want to stop people from feeling as though they can have those types of conversations.

    There's of course a difference between that and making jokes related to weight etc in front of someone who you KNOW to have an ED. If a friend of mine suffered, and I knew about it, I would of course censor myself. But this person was suggesting that we should censor all the time about any food discussion, because you never know who you might trigger.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Point taken, but would you really expect people who are just walking with friends in the street not to mention, for example..

    Spoiler:
    Show
    That they're on a diet but are going to break it to get a Subway.
    ?

    I mean, that type of comment just seems so everyday to me, regardless of my own personal history, I would NEVER want to stop people from feeling as though they can have those types of conversations.

    There's of course a difference between that and making jokes related to weight etc in front of someone who you KNOW to have an ED. If a friend of mine suffered, and I knew about it, I would of course censor myself. But this person was suggesting that we should censor all the time about any food discussion, because you never know who you might trigger.
    hi again

    Oh no don't be ridiculous, what he's suggesting is some tinfoil hat PC baloney encouraging people of eggshells ahead… :cool:

    Spoiler:
    Show

    I will try and avoid the semi-triggering discussion of normalising a culture where people who are significantly overweight speaking about GP or dietician approved diets are considered to be encouraging bad attitudes. I mean, overeating falls on the ED spectrum too. However there's been some odd nasty backlash against those on the laser extremes of the ED spectrum in the past few years, particularly binge eating and its kind (probably instigated by the misc/aesthetics culture's growth), and I don't want to feed that backlash or support it so no more comment


    Now if you were with a friend who you knew to have or have had an ED; once again I reiterate, it depends what stage of recovery you're/they're at. Some people are in IP and just one cheeky remark could make them relapse. Others have been in solid recovery for several years and will have developed a thicker skin about such attitudes, even make jokes about themselves, accepting themselves as imperfect and beautiful.

    I'm guessing you missed the glory days of Toto Mimo's thread and his sagacious prose. He would regularly encourage those suffering that ED was a fake life, an un-life-and that normalising such conversation (within reason of course) was imperative to recovery.

    Linky http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1605712


    he was such a legend. That whole group were lovely. :moon:
 
 
 
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