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A bit traumatised after seeing corpse of a relative

I'm sorry if this post offends anyone or makes people uncomfortable. My grandma passed away a couple of months ago very suddenly. The funeral took place about 10 days after her passing, and in between her body was kept at a funeral parlour.
My Mum (it was her Mum who had passed) wanted to go and see her in the parlour, and I said I'd go with her to offer support, but nobody else in the family wanted to go which is understandable.
My Mum works in a job where she is used to seeing people dying on a regular basis, and she's generally quite a strong woman. I was nervous, but I'm glad I did it. My Grandma had passed peacefully in her sleep, and hadn't received any traumatic injuries. She had been 'embalmed' and she had been dressed smartly and her hair etc. taken care of, make-up applied, so she really just looked like she was sleeping, except a little 'different'.
In a way, it was comforting, but since then I've had bad nightmares about it on a regular basis.I dream about the coffin or just about her being alive. I think about it a lot and sometimes cannot get the image out of my head.
This may sound really babyish but if I'm alone at home and in the dark I get really creeped out.

Has anyone else experienced the same thing? I have never done that before and i'd like to know how I can stop thinking about it and perhaps the nightmares will go away. Thanks for any advice.

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Reply 1
I've seen my fair share of corpses, both peaceful looking and horrifically mangled.

It's an odd thing and everyone reacts differently. You'll get better in time.
Reply 2
I've seen the corpses of two of my relatives, my uncle and great-uncle(Nan's brother). Some people do get really creeped out by these kinds of things, personally I don't. I saw it as an opportunity to see their bodies one last time, and never thought about it after. There's no reason to feel creeped out. You simply just saw your grandma's body, that's all. There's nothing scary or creepy about it.
I went with my grandfather to see my grandmother's body at a funeral parlour when I was eight.

It didn't affect me long term or anything. In a lot of cultures it's normal to do this. However, I do remember that she looked very different from how she did in life, and (possibly because I was so young) I remember getting confused over the two images and being temporarily unable to remember what she really looked like aside from photos. I also remember that my cousin kissed her on the forehead, but I couldn't - I just put my hand on her forehead, and it was ice cold. I had a couple of dreams about it, but I think that was more to do with wishing she would wake up than to do with seeing her body.

I suppose it's different for everyone, but I am fairly sure it will go away if you wait. Perhaps trying not to think about it is making it worse? As in, thinking about it more deeply and accepting it might help you to let go somehow?
Even if it's not normal it's not anything particular bad. I've never had this sort of reaction to the corpses of my family members though.
Reply 5
I've seen a few family member's corpses and some were easier than others to see. I saw my first when I was about 7 when my great gran died. I wasn't scared or had nightmares after it but when I looked at her, I kept expecting to her to jump up and go "boo!". What got to me was when I saw my aunt's corpse after she died. That really chilled me to the bone. She died of terminal cancer and even with all the clothes and make up the funeral directors used, you could still see the illness if that makes sense? I had never seen a terminal cancer patient before, in fact I hadn't known anyone with cancer so it really got to me. I had nightmares for a day few days after seeing her. This was just a couple of years ago so I was an adult when I saw her but it still terrified me.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry if this post offends anyone or makes people uncomfortable. My grandma passed away a couple of months ago very suddenly. The funeral took place about 10 days after her passing, and in between her body was kept at a funeral parlour.
My Mum (it was her Mum who had passed) wanted to go and see her in the parlour, and I said I'd go with her to offer support, but nobody else in the family wanted to go which is understandable.
My Mum works in a job where she is used to seeing people dying on a regular basis, and she's generally quite a strong woman. I was nervous, but I'm glad I did it. My Grandma had passed peacefully in her sleep, and hadn't received any traumatic injuries. She had been 'embalmed' and she had been dressed smartly and her hair etc. taken care of, make-up applied, so she really just looked like she was sleeping, except a little 'different'.
In a way, it was comforting, but since then I've had bad nightmares about it on a regular basis.I dream about the coffin or just about her being alive. I think about it a lot and sometimes cannot get the image out of my head.
This may sound really babyish but if I'm alone at home and in the dark I get really creeped out.

Has anyone else experienced the same thing? I have never done that before and i'd like to know how I can stop thinking about it and perhaps the nightmares will go away. Thanks for any advice.


It was lovely that you went to support your mum - I am sure it was of great comfort to her. It will get better. Look upon it as an opportunity to say goodbye. Your last image of your gran was one of her being peaceful and at rest.

I am a nurse of many years standing and have seen many corpses. One thing that still sticks firmly in my mind is of a lady who had a really bad cancer - on her death her face transformed into one of peace and she even had a faint smile - you gran is at peace too. Whenever you have a nightmare think of that
Reply 7
Thanks so much for the replies, they've really helped me a lot and i'm sure i'll feel better in time :smile:
Not as bad as having nightmares really, but about 7 years ago when I was 10 years old I went to see my Great grandmother in a funeral parlour and I lost my appetite for a while after that.
Reply 9
I've never seen a dead body before but I think I would be quite unsettled if I did. My auntie died of lung cancer and before the end she was extremely thin like a skeleton and pale and that was very unsettling. After she died I had dreams about talking to her which would give me really sad feelings and I'd wake up in tears. It's probably something you'll get over in time.
Aw i'm really sorry to hear that :frown: I went through a similar thing, my aunt had bowel cancer and she was also skeletal by the end, it was so difficult to see, though I didn't see her body once she had passed. Yeah the dreams can really impact you, I'm sure i'll begin to feel better, thanks :smile:
I'm sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My dad died a month ago, he passed away in his sleep. I was the one that called the ambulance and had to attempt CPR on him even though I could tell he was already gone.

It traumatised the hell out of me. I get nightmares too and have trouble sleeping. I've been told it gets better with time and it's a normal reaction since everyone has their own ways of dealing.

I hope it gets better with time, both for you and for me.
seeing dead people is always slightly strange; but they cannot harm you.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad, I really am :frown: I can't imagine how that must have been. I hope things will eventually get better and you'll soon be able to sleep well again. May he rest in peace.
Thanks :smile: Time is a great healer, I'll hold onto that thought for now.
I feel exactly the same as you and I’m a grown adult (34 years old) i went to see my Nan last weekend even though I didn’t really want to go I did it for my Mum but I’m nothing like my mum: she is such a strong lady and she’s a nurse so I guess she used to seeing a corpse. It was my first time and although i love my Nan dearly it still freaked me out even though she looked at peace (she had Alzheimer’s) i had a horrible nightmare last night. I don’t really want to go into detail though but tonight I’m sleeping with the light on: I feel like such a baby and wish I wasn’t this way!
Going to sound a bit odd but I would suggest trying to do research on death. it may sound strange and I hope not to offend you but western culture tends to find death a very taboo subject which may of lead to the trubles you're facing. try reading some books about death or YouTube videos (i would sugest ask a mortician YouTube) as it focuses on making death more positive as odd as that sounds. accepting death of others and yourself could be a step in getting over them nightmares as it allows you to become more rational and logic about death and not be scared I the dark or stuff.
idk tho it's just a suggestion :smile:
I get reassurance from seeing corpses - people dying is inevitable, seeing then dead but having died peacefully, in their home, asleep and having good family/friends at the time is comforting.

Good to just be honest, some people it probably reminds them of their own mortality, I felt guilty because I had known my grandparents more than all my other cousins.

Could be that you have trouble adjusting without them, maybe it just reminds you of dying and what you have to look forward to. Either way its good just to be honest about it
I just visited my grandma's body today. It's been a full nine days since she passed. The funeral isn't for another two.I have seen a dead body before. I went with my mum to see her friend, when I was maybe 11-12. It was only a couple days after her death. She was only in her 30's and she was naturally 'large' so there was no skeletal look. They'd posed her to smile and she appeared to be in a peaceful sleep. So this is what I expected when I went in to see my grandma. I think we all (myself, mum and sister) assumed she would have been made to look 'nice'...My mum was first in and my sister followed, with me at the back. But before I entered the room my sister stopped and turned back. She couldn't go in and became very upset. When I'd given her a hug and walked through the door I understood why. This wasn't like what I'd seen before. There wasn't a person in the coffin - never mind my grandma - but a full-fledged corpse. Everything had sunken and the skin was waxy, the nose already disappearing.It's definitely hard to subconsciously disassociate the person from the body and a body from a living being, so I felt like there was some kind of monster there, in place of my grandma. Before going in I'd wondered if it would be ok to kiss her. But as soon as I walked in that room I knew it wasn't her and I felt no connection whatsoever while I was there (never mind giving a kiss), and rather, once I was next to the coffin, wanted to take a step back, feeling as though the body might wake and stare at me, or even reach out.It's not a pleasant experience but it's nonetheless one I'm glad for. It definitely does help the mind to comprehend that they're gone. It's only a body. It's very humbling and as a Christian it reminds me just how vain we are in our ambitions and selfishness. It's still very strange though to think that, little over a week ago, her daughters and grand kids were sat around that same body making her laugh and doing everything to keep it, and her, alive and comfortable.As for nightmares; I've had them about pets that I've had to bury, as well as other family members who I didn't get to see. I won't be surprised if what I saw today plays on my mind once the lights go out. But that's not a bad thing. The best way to clear the mind is to deal with the thoughts that trouble you. If you have a song stuck in your head, the best way to forget about it is to sing or listen to the end of the song. It's about closure and understanding. The mind has to process new or unusual experiences. Death sucks but that's just how it is.I realise that your post was a few years ago now, but I needed to vent. I can't bring myself to speak about it with my family - especially my poor mum, who was very close with her (acting as her carer for most of the year) and also wasn't expecting what we saw. I hope you managed to come to terms with it before long.
I went to see my nana wirh my dad 8 days after she died amd i was ok but her funeral wasnt untill 17 days after she died and we had an oown coffin at home as we a bug catholic family and i went to see her again the differance was unbearable it been 3 days and i aint slept properly i keep seeing her face and it not my nana it scary and the nightmares unreal

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