I just visited my grandma's body today. It's been a full nine days since she passed. The funeral isn't for another two.I have seen a dead body before. I went with my mum to see her friend, when I was maybe 11-12. It was only a couple days after her death. She was only in her 30's and she was naturally 'large' so there was no skeletal look. They'd posed her to smile and she appeared to be in a peaceful sleep. So this is what I expected when I went in to see my grandma. I think we all (myself, mum and sister) assumed she would have been made to look 'nice'...My mum was first in and my sister followed, with me at the back. But before I entered the room my sister stopped and turned back. She couldn't go in and became very upset. When I'd given her a hug and walked through the door I understood why. This wasn't like what I'd seen before. There wasn't a person in the coffin - never mind my grandma - but a full-fledged corpse. Everything had sunken and the skin was waxy, the nose already disappearing.It's definitely hard to subconsciously disassociate the person from the body and a body from a living being, so I felt like there was some kind of monster there, in place of my grandma. Before going in I'd wondered if it would be ok to kiss her. But as soon as I walked in that room I knew it wasn't her and I felt no connection whatsoever while I was there (never mind giving a kiss), and rather, once I was next to the coffin, wanted to take a step back, feeling as though the body might wake and stare at me, or even reach out.It's not a pleasant experience but it's nonetheless one I'm glad for. It definitely does help the mind to comprehend that they're gone. It's only a body. It's very humbling and as a Christian it reminds me just how vain we are in our ambitions and selfishness. It's still very strange though to think that, little over a week ago, her daughters and grand kids were sat around that same body making her laugh and doing everything to keep it, and her, alive and comfortable.As for nightmares; I've had them about pets that I've had to bury, as well as other family members who I didn't get to see. I won't be surprised if what I saw today plays on my mind once the lights go out. But that's not a bad thing. The best way to clear the mind is to deal with the thoughts that trouble you. If you have a song stuck in your head, the best way to forget about it is to sing or listen to the end of the song. It's about closure and understanding. The mind has to process new or unusual experiences. Death sucks but that's just how it is.I realise that your post was a few years ago now, but I needed to vent. I can't bring myself to speak about it with my family - especially my poor mum, who was very close with her (acting as her carer for most of the year) and also wasn't expecting what we saw. I hope you managed to come to terms with it before long.