This will probably be a very long post but I'm really hoping to get some useful advice and hopefully get better if I write this down.
I was bullied throughout secondary school. I often never did anything about it and kept quiet. A friend did bully me but she always made me feel like it was nothing.
These are various incidents that happened. I'm hoping that if I write them down it may aid with the healing process.
-comments about my thin weight, like being called anorexic when I was not (I forced myself to eat more food at times which made me feel very ill)
-comments against my accent (I sometimes mispronounced things slightly - I was told that if I live here I should learn to speak like everyone else but my mispronunciations were only slight and it was only 1-3 words I pronounced differently)
-told I had to have plastic surgery
-comments on skin (acne)
-being laughed at
-I had my bag thrown on the floor
-PE kit stolen
-shoes thrown into bins
-one threat to attack me
My teachers never did anything. I had no support and didn't tell my parents until after I left secondary school. I suffered panic attacks afterwards but have been able to control them recently. I can talk to people but I just cannot develop a friendship.
I have spoilt various friendships afterwards due to my trust issues and paranoia. I feel as if I cannot be close to anyone. Luckily, I have one beautiful supportive friend from secondary school who is always there for me. However, I am going to university this year and I just really want to make some close friends but I'm worried my paranoia will be there to haunt me.
What I really wish more than anything else is to forget these memories.
Does anyone with a similar experience have any advice please? I would be very grateful.
Thank you for your support
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Curing the effects of bullying watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-02-2015 21:14
- 27-02-2015 21:35
You can't cure bullying. You can't erase the memories, you can't possibly reverse the effects. It shapes you into the person that you currently are. The effects of bullying become a defining feature of your life, personality and outlook. It's a character-building experience. All that's left to do is to live with the effects, sooner or later you'll reach a stage of tranquility and relaxation. It gets better.
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- Thread Starter
- 27-02-2015 21:54
Thank you. I truly hope I will reach that stage soon and I will try and have a positive outlook on the future. Hopefully I will be able to develop trust and a close friendship at university.