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Upset need to rant post

Sorry if this bores anyone but i need to let off steam, i wont go into detail to much about the causes of this problem, ill leave that till if anyone asks.
Basically i have few mates i don't exactly have a army of them, and now one of my mates don't want to be my mate because of a girl.
And no i ain't slept with this girl or anything like that before anyone thinks it :p:

Its his ex he dumped her treated her bad, now he wants her back but because i still talk to his ex on msn ( it was a long distance relationship on the internet) This is somehow a major issue for him and i've done nothing wrong not like i asked her out or anything, and basically im feeling very lonely and upset right now.
:mad:

Reply 1

The Guru

Have they actually met for real?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

The Guru

Have they actually met for real?

Yes they did, but hes acting like me talking to her and being nice to her when HE dumped her is some sort of male friend betrayal when its not like that, i only speak to her on msn now and again nothing like meeting up or sleeping with eachother or flirting lol.
I dont know what to do got stomach pains from stress that normal lol????

Reply 3

The Guru

Being over nervous about something with worry can give you stomach cramp. Take it easy dude. It's obvious that he's the one with the problem not you.

It's true, talking to her and being friends is fine, you're not exactly doing anything wrong that he should be upset with at all. He needs to grow up I think.

Sounds like you're more of an adult than he is, so I wouldn't worry.

I know with groups of lads - peer group pressure is part and parcel to be one of the lads and normally one of the rules is to not speak, see, touch etc anyones ex within that group.

lol so childish.

Are you worried he'll start a fight with you? If you keep explaining what you're doing, and that you're doing nothing wrong to hm and the rest of your friends then I think you'll be ok m8! :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

The Guru

Are you worried he'll start a fight with you?

Well im worried about it but not loads, as i live in a small town so im bound to see him at somepoint.
I might call him tomorrow try and smooth things over not sure but the problem is most the guys here to tend to beleive anything he says, so he could easily try and make me look the bad guy to them, and thats the last thing i need right now.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Also should of said, whats the best way to approach someone who ill be honest is abit immature so itll be hard to start a mature chat about the problem.
And i hate violence im not exactly hulk hogan which makes the idea of him starting a fight worse

Reply 6

The Guru

You should ring him first then if your worried about things getting out of hand. If he's a mate you really want to keep then I guess you should choose between them.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

The Guru

You should ring him first then if your worried about things getting out of hand. If he's a mate you really want to keep then I guess you should choose between them.

Well i could handle not being his mate aslong as things remained civilised and no lies being made about me to other mates, but if i had to choose between him or his ex as a mate then i would choose him, as i will have to see him from time to time and i never see her anyway.
But i dont feel i have to choose as nothing is going on with me and his ex, and im not going to stop him trying to get her back if he wants to.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Would emailling him be alright??? as im more persuasive and better with my words by email than phone lol im not a phone kinda guy

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone??? sorry i don't mean to bump the thread but as you can't edit when your anon

Reply 10

andy_cole2

14

email sounds fine explain the above stuff ^^ sounds good and erm don't get so worked up seriously these people live miles apart imagine if it was at school / uni with you cool down

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

andy_cole2

email sounds fine explain the above stuff ^^ sounds good and erm don't get so worked up seriously these people live miles apart imagine if it was at school / uni with you cool down

I know i shouldn't but i guess i care to much about what other people think.
Im always trying to be the nice genuine guy helping everyone out, and i just think this 1 little slip up and im going to suddenly be made to look the bad guy in all this when i know i done nothing wrong.
I guess i should wait till he replys to my email and take it from there

Reply 12

andy_cole2

14

how far away do you live from these people and how often are you going to see them?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

andy_cole2

how far away do you live from these people and how often are you going to see them?

the girl lives far away i would rarely ever see her, the guy lives in my town so im bound to see him at somepoint.

Reply 14

andy_cole2

14

but your mates with the guy and you would go for the guy over the girl. hmm i mean i think just expllaining to the guy maybe emailing him again, at the end of the day if your not in regular contact you can choose what you do to an extent but the guy in the town should be the priority over the girl who lives forever away.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

andy_cole2

but your mates with the guy and you would go for the guy over the girl. hmm i mean i think just expllaining to the guy maybe emailing him again, at the end of the day if your not in regular contact you can choose what you do to an extent but the guy in the town should be the priority over the girl who lives forever away.

Oh i agree, like i say if i had to choose i would choose to be mates with the guy in my town as it would be alot less awkward that way.
But at the sametime i dont feel i should be put in a position to have to choose as im not doing anything wrong lol.

Upset need to rant post

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