Weird Stuff You Hear in Public

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Captain Jack
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#1
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I overhear odd snippets of conversation all the time. Today's was:

Two ladies got on my train, after 15 minutes of silence they got off and one said: "it was lovely speaking to you"
... Telepathy?
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CherryWine
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I do too

The best one I've ever heard was when two blokes were fighting outside a pub, their mates broke them up and one shouted back over his shoulder "you can **** off if you think you're ever borrowing my toaster again!"
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username1221160
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Two women I overheard on an early morning commuter train.....

"Of course Jessie J's not bisexual. Have you seen the length of her fingernails?"
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Jake Cotton
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A fresher in the library working and listening to music on headphones mutters to himself:

“If you’re having maths problems I feel bad for you son, I got 0.999… problems but that’s basically 1.”
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TornadoGR4
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Whilst in work, an elderly person says "When I die this is the song I want on at my funeral"

The song was Shanks & Bigfoot's 'Sweet Like Chocolate'...
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Captain Jack)
I overhear odd snippets of conversation all the time. Today's was:

Two ladies got on my train, after 15 minutes of silence they got off and one said: "it was lovely speaking to you"
... Telepathy?
Telepathy or sarcasm.
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Malevolent
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Well when I was at my army medical checkup I heard someone with his friend saying " They want to check my IQ, not sure why my eye sight is perfect"

Suffice to say I think he failed.
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Jake Cotton
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I saw a girl pick up a can of coke and turned to her friend to ask if it counts as one of your five a day because it says "contains vegetable extracts"
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DiddyDec01
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Two women who work in Greggs talking about their new dildos. The conversation was grim, they looked like your standard dinner ladies.
:no:
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miser
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I actually like to play this game in reverse.

When I used to go out running with a friend, when we passed within earshot of people occasionally I'd make like we'd been running for ages, saying things like, "only 15 miles to go!" If not for little games to invent, running is far too boring.

The best one was when I was in Florence and my friends and I were making a mock documentary about the architecture there. We had all the camera equipment including a boom mic so it probably looked quite authentic. When it was a friend's turn to present, we were standing on a bridge and he was talking nonsense about it, such as that it was made of spaghetti and inspired a culinary revolution, and yada yada, and this woman who was walking by suddenly tuned into what he was saying, and spun her head round in surprise doing a double-take. I still have the footage showing her expression of bewilderment.

Moments like that are mildly satisfying given the lengths people go to ignore other people these days.
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Captain Jack
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(Original post by Jake Cotton)
I saw a girl pick up a can of coke and turned to her friend to ask if it counts as one of your five a day because it says "contains vegetable extracts"
That is, quite frankly, amazing.
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