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Destined to be a loner?
I have always been a loner since i can remember. People don't seem to want to be friends with me. In fact when i talk to them they always ignore me. So i have to pretend that i didn't ask a question and walk away.
I thought things would change if i went into college. But people are still the same. Do you know how sad it is when you hear everyone in the class talking about the party they went to on saturday. Being the only one who didn't get invited and not being able to take part in the conversation is sad.
Everyone swapping each others phone number and you just sitting there watching them. Its just sad.
I don't think it is because i am fat. There is one guy in my class who is fat. But unlike me he can come in class and no one will insult him. In fact he is going out with a girl that wouldn't even dream of talking to me. Is this how it is going to be all of my life. Because i don't want to be a sad loser all my life. I'm never going to be this age again.
I thought things would change if i went into college. But people are still the same. Do you know how sad it is when you hear everyone in the class talking about the party they went to on saturday. Being the only one who didn't get invited and not being able to take part in the conversation is sad.
Everyone swapping each others phone number and you just sitting there watching them. Its just sad.
I don't think it is because i am fat. There is one guy in my class who is fat. But unlike me he can come in class and no one will insult him. In fact he is going out with a girl that wouldn't even dream of talking to me. Is this how it is going to be all of my life. Because i don't want to be a sad loser all my life. I'm never going to be this age again.
Anonymous
I have always been a loner since i can remember. People don't seem to want to be friends with me. In fact when i talk to them they always ignore me. So i have to pretend that i didn't ask a question and walk away.
I thought things would change if i went into college. But people are still the same. Do you know how sad it is when you hear everyone in the class talking about the party they went to on saturday. Being the only one who didn't get invited and not being able to take part in the conversation is sad.
Everyone swapping each others phone number and you just sitting there watching them. Its just sad.
I don't think it is because i am fat. There is one guy in my class who is fat. But unlike me he can come in class and no one will insult him. In fact he is going out with a girl that wouldn't even dream of talking to me. Is this how it is going to be all of my life. Because i don't want to be a sad loser all my life. I'm never going to be this age again.
I thought things would change if i went into college. But people are still the same. Do you know how sad it is when you hear everyone in the class talking about the party they went to on saturday. Being the only one who didn't get invited and not being able to take part in the conversation is sad.
Everyone swapping each others phone number and you just sitting there watching them. Its just sad.
I don't think it is because i am fat. There is one guy in my class who is fat. But unlike me he can come in class and no one will insult him. In fact he is going out with a girl that wouldn't even dream of talking to me. Is this how it is going to be all of my life. Because i don't want to be a sad loser all my life. I'm never going to be this age again.
;console;
If you say you're a loner, you are now; Even if you werent before. Think positively and gain some self esteem for yourself. Get into a relationship.
Anonymous
I have always been a loner since i can remember. People don't seem to want to be friends with me. In fact when i talk to them they always ignore me. So i have to pretend that i didn't ask a question and walk away.
What do you say? I suppose unless you are really, really terrible at conversation then that's probably not going to be the problem.
Perhaps you've just not picked up certain rules of social engagement. Get yourself into a position where a group can view you, smile, make some sort of entry/introduction of yourself, wait for appropriate breaks in the conversation, make eye contact, and speak loudly, clearly and confidently.
It can be terribly irritating when people ignore certain social rules. Perhaps society should be more flexible, but we tend not to be in reality. But yes, avoid hovering, lingering, inappropriate entry into a conversation etc to.
I don't think it is because i am fat.
To be frank, unless you're so hideous that looking at you is an effort in itself, it's not going to be for this reason.
There is one guy in my class who is fat. But unlike me he can come in class and no one will insult him.
Do they insult you? Because that's a lot different from ignoring you.
Is this how it is going to be all of my life. Because i don't want to be a sad loser all my life. I'm never going to be this age again.
Good attitude.
is it a problem really? Think, are you actually comfortable in your current role? It used to bother me, but I found that actually thats just how I like to be. I prefer to be just one person. I've recently made a bit of a forced attempt to try the whole "relationship" business, but it just doesn't seem right.
listen to that whitesnake song. Loners are awesome - just look at rambo I.
listen to that whitesnake song. Loners are awesome - just look at rambo I.
Maybe you have a very quiet voice? I used to wonder why people ignored me. Then I realised it was because they couldn't hear me, so I turned up the volume and found my conversations much more rewarding. It's a possibility, anyway.
You're at 6th form, right? Things will pick up when you get to uni. Although you can't just stop being a shy person, suddenly turning into a hyper-outgoing party animal is not going to make you happy in the long run cos you're not being true to yourself.
You're at 6th form, right? Things will pick up when you get to uni. Although you can't just stop being a shy person, suddenly turning into a hyper-outgoing party animal is not going to make you happy in the long run cos you're not being true to yourself.
mate, dont worry so much. If you think too much about why people don't get along with you - it will never happen. Just dont care what anyone says - be yourself and find people who are similar. Thats the main thing dont overanaylse and evaluate things - most people are dumb as **** in this country, they are probablly as insecure as you.
Maybe people are afraid to approach you? It might be due to the signals you give out. Just try and talk to some people, start conversations with them. From what I have read, it seems like this really bothers you. How about joining a club outside college where you get to meet loads of people from different places. Interact with them, see how it's done and apply that to a college situation.
I don't know you personally to tell you what specifically is the problem.
What do you think is the problem, or could be the problem?
Do you most of the time or always have a negative mentality? Negative mentality puts people off, though it's understandable if you have it. Try changing it by being positive about where you can help it, see the difference.
What do you think is the problem, or could be the problem?
Do you most of the time or always have a negative mentality? Negative mentality puts people off, though it's understandable if you have it. Try changing it by being positive about where you can help it, see the difference.
You could try and get a job and meet new people that way, thats usually a good confidence boost.
Carl will be your friend.
Thats upsetting to hear...
Job = good, or alternatively just don't let people ignore you just talk to them, just standard conversation starters.
wanna talk pm.....
I could call myself a loner sometimes. I don't have that much friends in college, but I mostly hang around with different people and I do have acquaintances in each of my subject.
I think focusing more on other people and why they have this and that will do more harm than you thought. I used to be like that. Although I have enough confidence to socialise, I still feel envy to those who are "uber-friendly" i.e. those who seem to have friends everywhere. But then we live in an imperfect world.
Rather than putting yourself a "benchmark" i.e. that fat guy that is having a relationship, which could only disappoint you and make you upset if you don't get any nearer to his status, why not assess yourself; focus more on things that you think will put you in a better position to start conversations and ultimately start friendship and on the factors that will contribute to an environment that will make you more comfortable in terms of socialising.
And this argument that you'll never be in this age again; that's rubbish. At this age strata, we are only beginning life mate! So what if you have a horrible teen life. In most standards my life nowadays are way way crappier than the average teenage life. It did make me somtimes depressed but that didn't make me any less human. There are more challenging things in life that lies ahead of us; and there are more opportunities in the future.
I think focusing more on other people and why they have this and that will do more harm than you thought. I used to be like that. Although I have enough confidence to socialise, I still feel envy to those who are "uber-friendly" i.e. those who seem to have friends everywhere. But then we live in an imperfect world.
Rather than putting yourself a "benchmark" i.e. that fat guy that is having a relationship, which could only disappoint you and make you upset if you don't get any nearer to his status, why not assess yourself; focus more on things that you think will put you in a better position to start conversations and ultimately start friendship and on the factors that will contribute to an environment that will make you more comfortable in terms of socialising.
And this argument that you'll never be in this age again; that's rubbish. At this age strata, we are only beginning life mate! So what if you have a horrible teen life. In most standards my life nowadays are way way crappier than the average teenage life. It did make me somtimes depressed but that didn't make me any less human. There are more challenging things in life that lies ahead of us; and there are more opportunities in the future.
Perhaps you've just not picked up certain rules of social engagement. Get yourself into a position where a group can view you, smile, make some sort of entry/introduction of yourself, wait for appropriate breaks in the conversation, make eye contact, and speak loudly, clearly and confidently.
I am not one of those people who don't know how to behave during a social setting. I do know. It is that people are purposly ignoring me.
Do they insult you? Because that's a lot different from ignoring you.
Both at the same time. They look at me or near me and then look away and make a comment like "hey at least i don't stuff my face with chocolate" like i didn't hear
Do you most of the time or always have a negative mentality? Negative mentality puts people off, though it's understandable if you have it. Try changing it by being positive about where you can help it, see the difference.
Of course i have a negative mentality. All the positive outlook i had on life has been chiselled out by the years of constant loneliness. By seeing my sisters sneaking in at night from a club and then the next day talking about how they saw this artist and that on their mobile. Even worse is when my mum asks why i am always at home. Do you know how sad that is? I don't want to end up like one of those lonely people who play Counter-Strike and then start to get a warped view of the world and one day go nuts and kill everyone in my class. Thoughts like that scary me.
It's obviously the ppl you're hanging around. Find people you like. Theres no point in talking to people who take the piss out of you or who you dont like anyway.
Hard to avoid them and the teachers don't really care. They are to busy.
Anonymous
By seeing my sisters sneaking in at night from a club and then the next day talking about how they saw this artist and that on their mobile. Even worse is when my mum asks why i am always at home. Do you know how sad that is? I don't want to end up like one of those lonely people who play Counter-Strike and then start to get a warped view of the world and one day go nuts and kill everyone in my class. Thoughts like that scary me.
That's precisely what I meant by "benchmarking". Why do you have to keep on comparing yourselves to other people? Yes you may have a horrible social life compared to theirs, but ask this question: Do you really think continuing that attitude will help matters?
As I've said, why not focus on making yourself more comfortable making friends? It may seem hard at first, as you may see everyone around you is having the time of their lives enjoying social life, but why not take that as a challenge and a sign to act NOW rather than some fact of life that will only make you depress and upset.
hmmm... if you want to win friends you gotta do the old way, be attractive or filthy rich (if youre not attractive) or goddamn smart.
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