My own friends are bullies!
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
(edited 9 years ago)
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I changed High schools in Yr 11. (kind've weird situation where half of my high school joined with another high school) and managed to make friends with everyone at the new school.
Yes i do think you should change your 'friends', they arent really friends if they bully you.
Just join a club or stay in after school for something, start talking with someone from class or some club and then hang out with them, within a few days youll be introduced to their friend circle and immediately be invited in. Its easier than it seems.
Yes i do think you should change your 'friends', they arent really friends if they bully you.
Just join a club or stay in after school for something, start talking with someone from class or some club and then hang out with them, within a few days youll be introduced to their friend circle and immediately be invited in. Its easier than it seems.
Original post by student_14
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
In year 9, everyone is still trying to find themselves. Before you know it, there'll be a wild mix up of friendship groups in the next few months and you'll probably find yourself in a different crowd (which will hopefully contain nicer people)
chin up
Start talking to different people, as you get closer to them you can transition into that new group of friends rather than stay with these horrible sounding ones 
Try not to be too upset about it, focus on yourself and your studies and make sure it doesn't affect your school work
Try not to be too upset about it, focus on yourself and your studies and make sure it doesn't affect your school work
Original post by student_14
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
I know you don't want to hear the truth but in all honesty you really need to leave this group of friends. Toxic friends are the worst kind of people and they make you feel like crap. Trust me, I have them now and I'm 19.
The good thing is you're only in year 9 so you have plenty of time to grow up, mature and choose better friends. Honestly, by the time you leave school in year 11 you'll wonder why you ever worried about who would be your friend. You eventually grow up to like people who you never thought you would like and you'll hang out with people who you never thought would want to hang out with you. It's really not all as bad as it seems right now!
Just leave the group of friends you are currently in and take up and after school activity or something! That way you can make friends with other people without forcing yourself into their friendship group
Original post by student_14
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
being alone is better than those types of people,
i was in a similar situation. i was alone for a while, but then you find your feet and learn how to grown on your own and eventually meet people who are much more suited to yourself! It's worth it!! Drop 'em!! They're not worth the agony!!
Me and my friends have that kind of friendship,
we're mean to each other, take the mick constantly, have very questionable debates around the table at lunch,
but at the end of the day we're friends and that's how we interact,
It's not necessarily bullying, but occasionally things get out of hand,
But everyone gives as good as they get, and no one-person is constantly the one picked on,
I think my friends are great, but outsiders can sometimes be shocked if they listen in to what's happening,
What you need to do is look at yourself and ask two things;
1. Am I doing the same thing?
-because if so that could well just be your dynamic, if not perhaps your now in the wrong kinda crowd
2. Is it just one specific aspect that's annoying me?
- We've occasionally had times when as a group it's gone to far and genuinely started to stop being a joke and actually affect the person involved (who'd just been dumped) but when he said as much we realised it had stopped being a laugh for them and they were getting quite hurt by it and we apologised and blacklisted that topic for future stuff.
But you obviously can't do that for everything as then you just seem weak or unable to take jokes, if there's lots of stuff then perhaps you need to put your foot down, tell them to stop and if they don't walk away, if they're truly your friends they'll try to win you back, if they're not then you've jettisoned them and can try to find a new group of people
we're mean to each other, take the mick constantly, have very questionable debates around the table at lunch,
but at the end of the day we're friends and that's how we interact,
It's not necessarily bullying, but occasionally things get out of hand,
But everyone gives as good as they get, and no one-person is constantly the one picked on,
I think my friends are great, but outsiders can sometimes be shocked if they listen in to what's happening,
What you need to do is look at yourself and ask two things;
1. Am I doing the same thing?
-because if so that could well just be your dynamic, if not perhaps your now in the wrong kinda crowd
2. Is it just one specific aspect that's annoying me?
- We've occasionally had times when as a group it's gone to far and genuinely started to stop being a joke and actually affect the person involved (who'd just been dumped) but when he said as much we realised it had stopped being a laugh for them and they were getting quite hurt by it and we apologised and blacklisted that topic for future stuff.
But you obviously can't do that for everything as then you just seem weak or unable to take jokes, if there's lots of stuff then perhaps you need to put your foot down, tell them to stop and if they don't walk away, if they're truly your friends they'll try to win you back, if they're not then you've jettisoned them and can try to find a new group of people
Original post by Zahid~
I changed High schools in Yr 11. (kind've weird situation where half of my high school joined with another high school) and managed to make friends with everyone at the new school.
Yes i do think you should change your 'friends', they arent really friends if they bully you.
Just join a club or stay in after school for something, start talking with someone from class or some club and then hang out with them, within a few days youll be introduced to their friend circle and immediately be invited in. Its easier than it seems.
Yes i do think you should change your 'friends', they arent really friends if they bully you.
Just join a club or stay in after school for something, start talking with someone from class or some club and then hang out with them, within a few days youll be introduced to their friend circle and immediately be invited in. Its easier than it seems.
ok then...will try...thxxx
Original post by jordanhenderson.
I know you don't want to hear the truth but in all honesty you really need to leave this group of friends. Toxic friends are the worst kind of people and they make you feel like crap. Trust me, I have them now and I'm 19.
The good thing is you're only in year 9 so you have plenty of time to grow up, mature and choose better friends. Honestly, by the time you leave school in year 11 you'll wonder why you ever worried about who would be your friend. You eventually grow up to like people who you never thought you would like and you'll hang out with people who you never thought would want to hang out with you. It's really not all as bad as it seems right now!
Just leave the group of friends you are currently in and take up and after school activity or something! That way you can make friends with other people without forcing yourself into their friendship group
The good thing is you're only in year 9 so you have plenty of time to grow up, mature and choose better friends. Honestly, by the time you leave school in year 11 you'll wonder why you ever worried about who would be your friend. You eventually grow up to like people who you never thought you would like and you'll hang out with people who you never thought would want to hang out with you. It's really not all as bad as it seems right now!
Just leave the group of friends you are currently in and take up and after school activity or something! That way you can make friends with other people without forcing yourself into their friendship group
Ok, thx for the advice : )
I know this feeling so well. I'll tell you this now though and I know it's hard but you gotta just do it to make things better for yourself. Just slowly diverge into a different group!
When I was in year 8 I had my entire group of friends turn on me until the point where I had to leave, I easily fit in with another group. In year 9 I lost this group and became best friends with one guy and only him and I were friends. Year 10, I lost him due to major arguments over a period of 8 months, had a new group of friends who I thought were great the randomly in November just there of sixth form they all started accusing me of things I didn't do so I left and now I havean amazing group of 8 friends.
I don't regret changing friend groups four times, I really don't. Sometimes you just have to do it because you can't allow yourself to be surrounded by toxic people or people who make you feel bad, find people who make you happy and keep them for as long as you can. You're never going to keep a full group of friends forever so savour the time you spend with them but my advice to you is to just leave for your own sake
When I was in year 8 I had my entire group of friends turn on me until the point where I had to leave, I easily fit in with another group. In year 9 I lost this group and became best friends with one guy and only him and I were friends. Year 10, I lost him due to major arguments over a period of 8 months, had a new group of friends who I thought were great the randomly in November just there of sixth form they all started accusing me of things I didn't do so I left and now I havean amazing group of 8 friends.
I don't regret changing friend groups four times, I really don't. Sometimes you just have to do it because you can't allow yourself to be surrounded by toxic people or people who make you feel bad, find people who make you happy and keep them for as long as you can. You're never going to keep a full group of friends forever so savour the time you spend with them but my advice to you is to just leave for your own sake
Original post by student_14
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
Friends don't bully each other girl maybe they may tease you a bit but even that in a friendship is playful. Maybe you could find a few friends in the older year if possible, not sure why you can't find more friends in your year, your school can't be that small in student number.
If it's really affecting you emotionally don't suffer alone find a good teacher or your parent to discuss things with. You don't even need to have such a large group of friends, one good friend is better then five bad ones.
You should just start to ignore them and they'll most likely get the message that you're fed up with their ways. Try to talk to other people in your year who are friendly and if they are bullying you, you should have a chat with your Guidance teacher.
I am fine now..!! Thank you soo much though guyss!!
Original post by student_14
I am fine now..!! Thank you soo much though guyss!!
what happened in the end?
The issue was resolved so my post doesn't need to be up anymore.
(edited 9 years ago)
One of my friends is permanently racist to me. Not maliciously but cannot help twisting everything I say into some insult. But at the end of the day we are still friends. No harm done.
Original post by KingStannis
My friends bullied me from year 8 to year 11. Always used to beat me up, spit on me, set my clothes on fire and cut my bag up. I'm such a stronger person for it though.
The point is to realise it's happening and make new friends before you've been hanging round with the same people for so long you just don't know how to.
The point is to realise it's happening and make new friends before you've been hanging round with the same people for so long you just don't know how to.
Yepp tru say : )
Original post by student_14
Yepp tru say : )
Please delete the quote there's no need for tsr to read it now thanks
Original post by student_14
Please helpp!! I don't know what to do!
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
My own so called 'friends' bully me... Sometimes we are ok and the next we are not... this is like the fifth or sixth time it has happened to me under 2 years...please give advice...i know that you might say don't be friends with them anymore, but the thing is i am in year 9 now so everyone has their own friends..I can't randomly ask them to be my friends or start hanging around with them if i stop being friends with them, I'll have no one else to go to.
Please!! i'm desperate...I can't deal with it anymore....i end up crying to sleep every night...
Hey,
The right thing to do is try finding someone that really cares for you because im sure you must be speaking to other people at the same time. Ok fair enough not close as you are with your best friends but try making new friend. I wont lie to you i had a best friend. ive broken up with her just a few days she kinda used to bully me but i didnt take that shiit up && she claimed it as banter so if i did exactly the same she wouldnt like it & wouldnt litrally come at me as if she'd beat me up but id definatley fight back. The story gets worse tbh but the best thing to do is back off them slowly dont go all of a sudden speak to other people that they dont like or they do like share your thoughts with others but make sure you dont mention anything about your best friends.
Once you start to hang around with them less they will start noticing that your backing off... you will be questioned and you have to be ready to answer them truthfully express your thought and tell them hovw you feel with them and tell them that you cant do it anymore ive been through it and im telling you this is the best way. it isnt gonna be easy but its gotta be done.
And dont think that youre alone bc youve got all of us
xI don't know if you will find this helpful but i'm male and i went through an almost similar thing in year 9. My advice is to cut all ties and find real friends i.e people who like you and accept you for who you are. I got bullied a lot and i did not enjoy my school life from year 9 to year 13 and it ended up in a mental breakdown where i didn't leave my house for 14 months.
Looking back on it now, I missed out on a lot of important growth milestones such as my first relationship, going away with my friends, and just general development of the social skills, self esteem and self confidence that is needed to successfully navigate through this life. I'm 24 and still have some issues tot his day though i've gotten over some of them.
I don't know what your home life is like but mine wasn't very supportive and it almost led to my suicide. Anyway the moral of the story is to preserve your sanity and stay well away from these "friends" nobody should have to dread and hate their school life. Find new friends while you still can. It does not get any easier as you age,
Looking back on it now, I missed out on a lot of important growth milestones such as my first relationship, going away with my friends, and just general development of the social skills, self esteem and self confidence that is needed to successfully navigate through this life. I'm 24 and still have some issues tot his day though i've gotten over some of them.
I don't know what your home life is like but mine wasn't very supportive and it almost led to my suicide. Anyway the moral of the story is to preserve your sanity and stay well away from these "friends" nobody should have to dread and hate their school life. Find new friends while you still can. It does not get any easier as you age,
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