Major anxiety over unanswered message! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
So, I've recently been getting into a new friend group, and last week me and one of the guys had a really irresponsible (but fun) night where he bought a bottle of whiskey and we pretty much drank it between the two of us. Two days ago I ran into him again and he told me that apparently, at some point during that night, we were cycling around with me sitting on the back of his bike, and we fell down (I had no recollection of this). So apparently he hurt his shoulder really badly and had to go to the hospital the next day, and he needs an operation now.

I felt really bad for him, so I sent him a Facebook message yesterday saying I hoped everything would be alright with his shoulder, that I felt partly responsible for the 'accident', and that once he was off the painkillers, I'd buy him another bottle of whiskey. Then I asked about an arts festival he's involved in and what shows he would recommend.

He saw this pretty much right away, but it's been over a day and he hasn't replied yet. For some reason it's making me feel really anxious. I know he's probably just busy, but I can't turn off this nagging voice in my head that keeps saying I must have said something really wrong or embarrassing or he's angry with me and that now it's going to be really awkward when I run into him again. Idk, does the message sound really weird?

It's not just this particular instance either, pretty much every time I interact with people I end up over-analysing everything, finding fault with everything I've said and just going over and over everything in my head and cringing and convincing myself that yes, this time I've actually gone and messed up for good and no one will ever talk to me again. Is this normal? How can I stop myself from doing this? It actually takes up so much of my energy and I'm really tired of it (worst thing is, I realise even this post is just ridiculous!). Is this like, Social Anxiety or something?
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Angelo12231
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So, I've recently been getting into a new friend group, and last week me and one of the guys had a really irresponsible (but fun) night where he bought a bottle of whiskey and we pretty much drank it between the two of us. Two days ago I ran into him again and he told me that apparently, at some point during that night, we were cycling around with me sitting on the back of his bike, and we fell down (I had no recollection of this). So apparently he hurt his shoulder really badly and had to go to the hospital the next day, and he needs an operation now.

I felt really bad for him, so I sent him a Facebook message yesterday saying I hoped everything would be alright with his shoulder, that I felt partly responsible for the 'accident', and that once he was off the painkillers, I'd buy him another bottle of whiskey. Then I asked about an arts festival he's involved in and what shows he would recommend.

He saw this pretty much right away, but it's been over a day and he hasn't replied yet. For some reason it's making me feel really anxious. I know he's probably just busy, but I can't turn off this nagging voice in my head that keeps saying I must have said something really wrong or embarrassing or he's angry with me and that now it's going to be really awkward when I run into him again. Idk, does the message sound really weird?

It's not just this particular instance either, pretty much every time I interact with people I end up over-analysing everything, finding fault with everything I've said and just going over and over everything in my head and cringing and convincing myself that yes, this time I've actually gone and messed up for good and no one will ever talk to me again. Is this normal? How can I stop myself from doing this? It actually takes up so much of my energy and I'm really tired of it (worst thing is, I realise even this post is just ridiculous!). Is this like, Social Anxiety or something?
ORRRR you could just not care... and get on with life
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ssupernova
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#3
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This is what 'read receipts ' do to people ...
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vela1
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#4
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Give it a day or two. If still no reply then assume he's annoyed/angry with you. Send a nude of yourself and it'll be all good.
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SophR96
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#5
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This is me in every situation. I've realised that I always stress and overthink everything, and it always turns out that I was worrying over nothing at all. Just relax and wait until you next see him or wait until he does reply, he could just be busy at the moment, you dont seem to have done anything wrong


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Slumer21
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So, I've recently been getting into a new friend group, and last week me and one of the guys had a really irresponsible (but fun) night where he bought a bottle of whiskey and we pretty much drank it between the two of us. Two days ago I ran into him again and he told me that apparently, at some point during that night, we were cycling around with me sitting on the back of his bike, and we fell down (I had no recollection of this). So apparently he hurt his shoulder really badly and had to go to the hospital the next day, and he needs an operation now.

I felt really bad for him, so I sent him a Facebook message yesterday saying I hoped everything would be alright with his shoulder, that I felt partly responsible for the 'accident', and that once he was off the painkillers, I'd buy him another bottle of whiskey. Then I asked about an arts festival he's involved in and what shows he would recommend.

He saw this pretty much right away, but it's been over a day and he hasn't replied yet. For some reason it's making me feel really anxious. I know he's probably just busy, but I can't turn off this nagging voice in my head that keeps saying I must have said something really wrong or embarrassing or he's angry with me and that now it's going to be really awkward when I run into him again. Idk, does the message sound really weird?

It's not just this particular instance either, pretty much every time I interact with people I end up over-analysing everything, finding fault with everything I've said and just going over and over everything in my head and cringing and convincing myself that yes, this time I've actually gone and messed up for good and no one will ever talk to me again. Is this normal? How can I stop myself from doing this? It actually takes up so much of my energy and I'm really tired of it (worst thing is, I realise even this post is just ridiculous!). Is this like, Social Anxiety or something?
I use to do this all the time- you always convoke yourself that you've den something wrong, when the truth is really you haven't. I have a friend that does this a lot as well, and trust me everything is probably fine, your reading into it far too much and might end up ruining your relationship if anything.

just wait a day or two and then pop up again, if he blinks it, then something is wrong- but that doenst mean go all out and apologise, understand that whatever happened wasn't completely your fault, or maybe its not your fault at all (An important thing to note is not to do this to the point where you blame everyone else for everything and take no blame whatsoever-thats even worse!)

In terms of getting over it, every time something happens, don't jump to the conclusion that you've done something wrong or that something has happened, think about it, but it shouldn't occupy your thoughts for long, for example in this case, you hold have thought about it for about five minutes; thought about why he hasn't replied, is he ok, is something wrong, then left it for the situation to recover itself, which it always does if you go back to it...
fill your mind with oner non negative thoughts, his is quite easy if your an outgoing chatty person because then you can fill your mind with literally everything and you wont find it particularly hard to move on from that strand of thought(of course cases differ), if not, then stop yourself from thinking about it the moment you start pinning it on yourself, because if you do that then not only are you making matters worse by complicating them, but your making yourself feel guilty for something that might not even matter at all....

calm down....... nothings wrong, it'll be ok!!!
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by ssupernova)
This is what 'read receipts ' do to people ...
I honestly wish they didn't exist.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Slumer21)
I use to do this all the time- you always convoke yourself that you've den something wrong, when the truth is really you haven't. I have a friend that does this a lot as well, and trust me everything is probably fine, your reading into it far too much and might end up ruining your relationship if anything.

just wait a day or two and then pop up again, if he blinks it, then something is wrong- but that doenst mean go all out and apologise, understand that whatever happened wasn't completely your fault, or maybe its not your fault at all (An important thing to note is not to do this to the point where you blame everyone else for everything and take no blame whatsoever-thats even worse!)

In terms of getting over it, every time something happens, don't jump to the conclusion that you've done something wrong or that something has happened, think about it, but it shouldn't occupy your thoughts for long, for example in this case, you hold have thought about it for about five minutes; thought about why he hasn't replied, is he ok, is something wrong, then left it for the situation to recover itself, which it always does if you go back to it...
fill your mind with oner non negative thoughts, his is quite easy if your an outgoing chatty person because then you can fill your mind with literally everything and you wont find it particularly hard to move on from that strand of thought(of course cases differ), if not, then stop yourself from thinking about it the moment you start pinning it on yourself, because if you do that then not only are you making matters worse by complicating them, but your making yourself feel guilty for something that might not even matter at all....

calm down....... nothings wrong, it'll be ok!!!
Thanks! I know, rationally, you're right. He wasn't mad / annoyed with me at all when I saw him two days ago, and also it wouldn't surprise me if he's the type of person who's generally a bit lazy when it comes to replying. But I just always get caught in this vicious cycle of negative / paranoid thoughts and it's like I can't rationalise my way out of it, it's awful. You're right though, I should just assume it's fine and try to block out those thoughts.
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