The Student Room Group

Intimacy issues in relationship

Hey guys. I'm in a LDR with my girlfriend who lives in a different country and we see each other every 6-8 weeks. I love her to pieces and she's planning on moving here in September. We've been together for nearly a year and things are really difficult right now. She's working a lot and I'm entering the exam period so getting super stressed. For the last month or so we've been arguing a lot more than usual due to frustration if he whole situation. She has recently become difficult when it comes to the sexual part of the relationship. We never talk about anything intimate which is so annoying because I try to initiate it but she shoots me down. I'm starting to feel like just a good male friend to her but I know she loves me a lot. I'd never cheat on her and I adore her but it's incredibly frustrating. Communication and sex are a couple of the most important things in a relationship for me and neither are being satisfied. I know being in a LDR means no sex but there's no interest on her behalf to try it. I don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation I'd really appreciate it. Thank you :smile:
Reply 1
Avatar for MrBean1994
MrBean1994
OP
12
Please anyone?
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey guys. I'm in a LDR with my girlfriend who lives in a different country and we see each other every 6-8 weeks. I love her to pieces and she's planning on moving here in September. We've been together for nearly a year and things are really difficult right now. She's working a lot and I'm entering the exam period so getting super stressed. For the last month or so we've been arguing a lot more than usual due to frustration if he whole situation. She has recently become difficult when it comes to the sexual part of the relationship. We never talk about anything intimate which is so annoying because I try to initiate it but she shoots me down. I'm starting to feel like just a good male friend to her but I know she loves me a lot. I'd never cheat on her and I adore her but it's incredibly frustrating. Communication and sex are a couple of the most important things in a relationship for me and neither are being satisfied. I know being in a LDR means no sex but there's no interest on her behalf to try it. I don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation I'd really appreciate it. Thank you :smile:


I've never been in an LDR, so I can't say that I fully understand. I get that sometimes things can get stressful and you want your partner to alleviate some of that but arguing continuously is not the way to go. You should try dealing with that by 'communicating'. That may be why you aren't able to access the other part of the relationship - I mean, why get intimate when you're just arguing about other stuff? Maybe if you try to work on that she'll be more open to it.

If that doesn't work, do it anyway and communicate with her.
Original post by MrBean1994
Hey guys. I'm in a LDR with my girlfriend who lives in a different country and we see each other every 6-8 weeks. I love her to pieces and she's planning on moving here in September. We've been together for nearly a year and things are really difficult right now. She's working a lot and I'm entering the exam period so getting super stressed. For the last month or so we've been arguing a lot more than usual due to frustration if he whole situation. She has recently become difficult when it comes to the sexual part of the relationship. We never talk about anything intimate which is so annoying because I try to initiate it but she shoots me down. I'm starting to feel like just a good male friend to her but I know she loves me a lot. I'd never cheat on her and I adore her but it's incredibly frustrating. Communication and sex are a couple of the most important things in a relationship for me and neither are being satisfied. I know being in a LDR means no sex but there's no interest on her behalf to try it. I don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation I'd really appreciate it. Thank you :smile:


Unfortunately my only experience of a LDR is a half an hour or hour drive away from each other, though even that sometimes got hard when we were busy. Maybe something is wrong that you're not aware of? If you haven't already, bring this up to your girlfriend. Tell her you feel like you're going through a difficult time, but reassure her that you still have feelings and want to work out whats going on. Me and my ex ended up breaking up due to a lack of communication causing much larger problems and I too think its very important... Communicate first, get back on track and then the intimacy may come later.

I don't want to cause any unnecessary problems, but perhaps a lack of intimacy could be a much bigger problem than it seems? A lack of interest? Though take that with a pinch of salt.

You need to speak to her, advice from others is good, but she is the only person you're going to get the right answer from, be up front about it and good luck. I hope everything works out :smile:
Reply 4
Avatar for Arieh
Arieh
3
I don't have much time for a more articulated post, anyway I'm in a LDR with my bf of 8 years (we live in different countries and see each other every 2-3 months). In all these years, I have realized that he is very shy when it comes to communicating "intimate" things, he feels uncomfortable and therefore this makes him even more shy.
In times things changed and he has opened up a bit, but not much... At some point you just have to accept that every one is different when it comes to this sort of things - even if I wish he would try to second me more, and I don't feel guilty for being "dissatisfied" with this side of him.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you