does this sentence make sense?

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Bruise
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#1
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#1
Mable is to be made aware by me in a letter I am yet to pen of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.
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shawn_o1
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#2
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Add a comma or two
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Bruise
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#3
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
Add a comma or two
should 'as being' be 'to be' instead?

I do not understand the difference between the two.
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shawn_o1
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#4
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" As being" is fine
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username360639
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#5
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Sounds okay to me.
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Bruise
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#6
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(Original post by shawn_o1)
" As being" is fine
'to be' works too, no?
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anosmianAcrimony
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#7
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It's grammatical, but the florid style makes it a pain to read.
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Emily.97
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#8
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(Original post by Bruise)
Mable is to be made aware by me in a letter I am yet to pen of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.
Think the start of the sentence would sound better if it was rearranged: ie, I will inform Mable..

Bit in bold makes no sense to me.
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Bruise
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#9
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(Original post by Emily.97)
Think the start of the sentence would sound better if it was rearranged: ie, I will inform Mable..

Bit in bold makes no sense to me.
I started it with a passive construction.

I will inform Mable

becomes

Mable will be informed by me

Mable is to be made aware by me [sounds more old fashioned imo]
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CherryWine
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#10
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(Original post by Bruise)
Mable is to be made aware by me in a letter I am yet to pen of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.
I am yet to pen a letter which will make Mable aware..
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Ronove
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#11
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Mable is to be made aware, by me, in a letter I am yet to pen, of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.


...perhaps?
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Bruise
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#12
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
It's grammatical, but the florid style makes it a pain to read.
(Original post by Emily.97)
Think the start of the sentence would sound better if it was rearranged: ie, I will inform Mable..

Bit in bold makes no sense to me.
(Original post by Ronove)
Mable is to be made aware, by me, in a letter I am yet to pen, of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.


...perhaps?
It can be even more florid too when the passive voice is used throughout.

Mable is to be made aware by me in a letter I am yet to pen of that which we have all come to know as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.

Mable is to be made aware by me in a letter that will be penned by me of that which has come to be known by us as being the manifestation of the underworld itself.

Is 'to be' interchangeable with 'as being' in this sentence?
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