falling for a friend but want to be single...

I have a friend who's a guy and I've always liked him, but for the past few months it's felt like it's progressing into feelings that are more serious. We're just friends even though we've kissed a few times when we've been out together and been drinking. I've known him a couple of years and know enough from seeing him with other girls to see that he'll never committ as he loves being single. Personally I'm the same, relationships have always got too complicated too quickly in my experience. I like my freedom. But the more time I spend with him the more I think about him in a way I never used to.

It's scaring me because I'm well aware that he just sees us as mates and if these feelings develop further I'm very likely to end up getting my heart broken somewhere down the line. My friends have suggested spending less time with him and talking to him less often as it might help the feelings pass, but that's something I don't want to do.

I'm just confused as to what to do. I don't want to tell him because it would ruin the friendship but at the same time I'm sick of getting jealous when he mentions other girls he's been out with. I moved to uni recently and feel happy and adjusted with who I am and I don't want to upset that balance either. I'm not after a boyfriend, I just don't know what to do about falling for my friend.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

omg we're in the same situation big time, except i hear about the girls in person and sometimes meet them :| It's so horrible, there's nothing to do though. I know exactly what you mean about liking them a lot, but still wanting to be single. With the friend thing you're just going to have to live with it, or just find someone else, even though you're not looking, to replace the feelings.

Reply 2

The Guru

Try it. Then get burned.

You can always speculate what things are going to be like, but you can never really tell. if you both know how you'll both behave in relationships then in theory it shouldn't work out.

But like I say, try it, then get burned. I know you've got a big urge.

Reply 3

username47781

I don't think you really know what you really want, if it's just friendship with this guy you need to back off a little, but i think you two need to talk and ask each other where you both stand.