trying to work out whats in life for me Watch
im so scared. im so scared about failing and blaming myself for it and being unhappy for the rest of my life, full of regret. but im even more scared of getting into the uni that i want, graduating with the grades i want, getting the job i want, whatever, and still feeling like this. because its been ages now and it wont go away. i have no idea what might make me happy because it seems impossible. so when im sat here trying to do my homework and stressing out about exams, i just get a little upset because im looking forwards and all i see is more. ive done my gcses, my AS, then ill do my A2s, then ill do uni, then ill have a job, and i dont understand what all this work is for because i genuinely do not see what is in it for me and why i should do this. ill still try, and go along with it all, because at the end of the day im quite a perfectionist and feel pressured to do well, but at the same time, im still worried about getting exactly what i thought i wanted and still being unhappy. im just in a perpetual state of worrying and regretting, and being disappointed with life. im scared of the stupidest things. i spent my bus journey to school today petrified that the bus was gonna tip over. why? who knows. there was no reason why it should, but i was so scared at the time. why do i worry about such stupid things?
i dont know if this is normal, but if anyone else feels like this itd be good to know.
The solution to thinking about yourself, is to think about others.
Who can judge you, criticise you, evaluate you, compare you, if you do charity and good for others ?
Isn't the problem we are doing what we think others think we should do , and what society thinks we should do ,
because we always feel "assessed" on our money and our looks and education ?
Who can criticise someone that helps charities, helps others, and not themselves .